Trying to get wife to understand

I set my wife down and told her I like to dress, ans she was ready to leave, after a few tough weeks, she come to me and said I love you and want you to be happy, her toughest problem was thinking I'm gay, now that she is certain I'm not, things got better real fast, I also made a point of being the nicest most considerate person on earth while dresses, she absolutely lives me to dress now and she is 100% supportive me and her even went to a wig shop with me dressed, she helped me pick out my beautiful hair, she is wanting us to go out with me dressed all the time now, only went out the one time but. We are going to start going out, hope this helps

Lori ..I have the same situation as you do ...My wife has approved my CD but No involvement ....So I respected this ..At least No cause for suffering inside the home ...I never tried to Show her who I am ...My world is mine ...But many times she bought me some lingerie's ...or Gave me some lovely dresses of hers ...some make up ....I think you should never push things ...let Natural instincts kick in ....she will eventually open more ,,,Yet all depends on her education concerning CDs ...Our dear sisters here in the forum will help us all a lot ...They gave me some good advise .....

Do you really understand why you do it?

I gather that most CDs don't have an answer to the question why do you do this. It just is.

"making her understand" sounds really arrogant and unattractive, maybe you could just try explaining that you have a need to CD and you'd like to work something out with her as far as finding the time to do it, she can then decide for herself if it's something she can live with or not. You then need to decide if you can live with her decision or not.

It's hard to answer this because I've never been in the situation, my wife knew about me from the start, the only thing I give is just go easy, I know a couple of CDs that went full on and they are not together anymore with their wives, your wife may come around to the idea just don't push to much to soon, I like to think marriage is sharing on both sides if your wife refuses to except you then I fear you will be unhappy which will lead to breakdowns in certain area's

Hey Lori,

I literally JUST went through this with my SO... she knew of my history from very early in our relationship, but I had purged and went YEARS trying to deny this part of me -- until I couldn't anymore. Once I started dressing again, I knew I had to tell my SO. When I finally did (last week), it was the most TERRIFYING and simultaneously beautiful experience of my life. My SO surprised me (as she often does) by essentially already knowing. :doh: She thinks of it as being fluid in our sexuality, which is VERY comforting... I am very lucky that it went as well as it did. Not to say it was effortless and all lollipops and puppies...

Initially, she was mad about it. Not so much for my actual CDing, though... She was mad at all of the "Deception" and "conspiracy" that surrounded it. We have been talking and talking and talking about it since then and it's become a new dynamic in our lives that we can explore together. It's becoming playful. And let me add that not having that weight on my shoulders anymore is SUCH a relief.

Point being, I applaud this first step to openness with your SO that you've taken. It'll be a bumpy ride, but as long as you are honest and keep the lines of communication open -- for better or worse, you'll get through it.

There's a book: "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd... We've been reading this together and it has really helped in keeping the dialog going. I totally recommend it.

Big hug to you and your SO as you "step through the looking glass" and best wishes for your future together. :)

How does one ever understand what they are unable to comprehend? I believe that our efforts to get our wives and GF's to "understand" is most often a futile effort. Even for us, a true understanding is typically a futile endeavor. Perhaps what we should focus on, for those of us who are in the situations of a relationship where our partner struggles with our CDing and our femininity is to accept their struggles as well as our own. To bridge the gaps with a greater acceptance of ourselves and them too.

I believe we often have a tendency to get wrapped up in our physical details.... focusing on how much, how far, how often.... perhaps the bigger picture of simply showing our support, our devotion, our love for them should always be the 1st thing they see of us. I am not suggesting that we give up or compromise so much of ourselves away.... but, that we should always make sure they see that we see them and care for them `1st before our CDing issues. Doing so may never make our CDing easy for them, but by doing so, it can help them to accept it for what it is.

No woman dreamt of herself as being married to a guy who wears pantyhose and lipstick. Most women wish they were married to James Bond.

What we feel, only a crossdresser can understand as others said in this Thread. I have managed to be able to wear pantyhose every day under my trousers without her complains that "this is weird". I am supposedly wearing it because it helps me keep warm (I use a motorbike on a daily basis to go to work) and relax my legs as I cycle a lot. The truth is of course that pantyhose is the only thing I want to wear 24-7!