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Tina appeared just after our 34th wedding anniversary. Tina brought us more mentally intimate, in that we started to discuss topics that hadn't before considered topics of discussion. That has never meant that Tina took the place of physical intimacy. The Tina experience is sensual, no doubt, but if anything, the mental intimacy has been an enhancement that is more of a symbiosis.
Well, sort of.
If "ready, willing, and able" means " spead 'em, no.
I'm attracted to ultra-fem, over-the-top look. If she did that, yes, that would reduce my need to create that look as a CDer.
Not if she encouraged me, and that is what happened when I was ....."Twenty." :)
It wasn't just one, but it was only one at a time.
I have scruples you know. :)
Why do I get the feeling there's a touch of obsessiveness about this thesis of connection between sexual gratification and dressing...??
And why would that be such a strong theme that comes out again and again...?? :facepalm:
To answer the question: No - there is no connection for me between a mutual and consensual, loving and sexual activity with my wife (or another loved one, in times past..;)) and expressing my feminine alter-ego.
In the same way as I believe there would be no connection for me between that same mutual act and sexual self-gratification... Just because they happen to result in the same short term, physical event for a GM does not mean that they are the same, by any stretch of even the most vivid imagination.
It may be different for more shallow individuals... :)
Katey x
Originally there was a strong sexual aspect to my dressing, but over time that disappeared and is no longer a factor for me.
As for having a willing and eager partner, I do and as Kim said, I don't dress for sex, no matter how you look at it. This is all about being me and nothing more.
I think I have the opposite problem. If she were less "ready, willing and able" I could finally come out of hiding. Who know what I would do with all that spare time.
No less! Certainly yes to the ready willing and able, and more dressing! I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. Lol!
it is a legitimate question although maybe not in good tasteQuote:
Originally Posted by marny
In fact I think it is a very bad straw argument. The scenario actually could increase desire for sexual contact. Personally I think it is a moot question
Gypsy- Where exactly did you come up with the theory that a monogamous relationships usually dampens the female desire for intercourse? What an odd thought.
I love when people say "males are this way ______" or "females are this way _______" as if we humans could be so easily classified. You all could just simplify the process and say "Some humans are this way _______ "
So WAH to your original point, I am a straight cross dresser, and yes I know I am straight, for an undeniable, unequivocal, been offered many opportunities to not be straight, cross dresser. Oh and yeah, it does not matter one bit how I am dressed, and no none of my fantasies ever involve anything but being with women. I love though how you seem to think that anyone who says they are straight is actually suspect. Okay, so whatever.
Point being, my wife is always willing for whatever, and no it makes no difference to my desires to express my gender. I will repeat what I have said frequently, contrary to your personal beliefs, my Os are not tied to my dressing. Nothing wrong for those that do have that connection, but not all of us do.
Not everything that men do is tied to our insatiable desires to stick it into something.
There were quite a few straight CDers who posted to the "How straight of a guy are you" thread. And why wouldn't they? Forum Rules don't prohibit it. The Q WAS posted for everyone. [At least that was how I read it] It was probably silly of me to assume most of the folks who responded to that thread would read some of the other responses in the thread.
I was dressing back in my teens whilst I was with my wife and we were very active. So was my desire for dressing, but I was not out to the wife then.
However, the rule of inverse proportionality in this respect (more sex equals less dressing) certainly doesn't apply for me.
Dressing and the solo 'O' were certainly connected from very early on though.
Rebecca
Dressing is something that is enjoyable during most any activity. I would even dress during physical intimacy should my wife be okay with it as which genders clothes I wear does not affect/is not affected by sexual availability or appetite. Women partake in sexual congress as do men so it feels normal either way.
Sure, the refractory zone exhibits a muted desire for dressing (male or female attire) but so it is for the desire for most anything else, really. Just lying there for a bit savouring the experience is the usual with most internal human drives come back online in short order.
An interesting thought.
So, Katey, those who connect sexual gratification and dressing are shallow?
Nope - sorry if that didn't come out clear... :)
The OP implication that a relationship with a partner (that obviously includes a sexual element, but is clearly much, much more) can somehow be equated with dressing that may (or may not) include some sexual gratification... And that therefore more of one could replace the other...?
In my book, someone signs up for that, that's shallow. :straightface:
Katey x
I don't equate the two. Dressing fem is who I am and don't do it for any sexual gratification. Sex for me on the other hand is what I might do with the right GG partner.
Before coming to accept this was part of me and that it was ok, I was deep in denial. My dressing was very infrequent, ended as soon as satisfaction was achieved, and yes if I recall only happened during times of sexual draught. Today it's quite different. My dressing isn't about achieving gratification. We were enjoying an active sex life prior to discovery/acceptance. Dressing has enhanced an already sex life.
Hug
Rita
Lol can I ask why this topic is only aimed at straight guys??
I've crossdressed since I was 6 and because Ive done it since that age I see it as normal every day life, I crossdress because I just prefer girls clothes over guys stuff I go with what ever makes me feel good.
the only sex connection between me and clothes is in the intimate times if my bf wants me to dress up in something cute.
I wouldn't know as I've only ever had one girlfriend. I didn't dress when I was with her, but we were only together a month and at the time my CDing was pretty low key as I lived with my parents and was either out partying or at the girlfriends having sex lol. Part of me thinks I would because is have someone to share time with. But I don't know if the desire would ever completely go away.
I had a partner/wife for almost 50 year before cancer took her. She knew that I was a CD and actually loved me to be in feminine clothes. My desire to dress was not in the least changed by her, nor would it be by any other partner. I dress enfemme because I like to, and that is all that matters! And by the way, my underwear is almost always enfemme, regardless of what else I have on!
Not to beat a dead horse, but I've been thinking about this all day. I don't know if there's real scientific merit to it or not, but it certainly seems to apply to me. Right now I'm struggling with the huge to "indulge" and trying to resist because I know the bad feelings that will follow. What you said about the Prolactin makes a lot of sense to me! I've literally tried to force myself not do undress immediately after, and I can't do it. Once the sexual urge is satisfied, I just feel stupid and weak. Of course, that lasts about 20 minutes! The serotonin rush always keeps me coming back for more. I guess it's kind of an addiction, yeah?Quote:
Originally Posted by Confucius
wait...I thought all CDers were gay? there are straight ones? no way
All of us certainly aren't gay. Clothing has little to do with sexuality for many people here.
At to answer the OP's question, as with a few of the other girls here, I'm in a commited relationship and my girlfriend is fully supportive of this side of me. For me, its been the opposite as you suggest. As I've gotten closer with her and further into our relationship I've tended to dress en femme much more.
Its when I'm single that I find myself shying away from Jaymee
No it's a well known fact that guys who crossdress are not gay, it's them exploring their feminine side:) which is a good thingQuote:
Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti
Hi WAH, I don't think that anything will make me dress less.
CrossJess, the OP did include others (crooked = not straight, the way I read it).
Katey, thanks for the clarification.
Yes, a relationship would include many things besides sex, but sex is included, and sex sometimes involves crossdressing. The OP poses the question as a choice between crossdressing OR sex with a ready, willing, and able partner. It's never that simple. Still, I was in the minority that answered "yes, sort of".