How much has the internet helped?

I can remember during the days when internet access was becoming the norm that even searching for "Crossdressing" felt like I was looking for pornography. I had no idea as to how many others there were who were like me. The explosion in on-line shopping had a huge impact upon my dressing as up to then anything I had was a liberated cast-off destined for the charity sale so everything was squeezed into as everything was to small.

So finding sites like this, being able to draw on the experiences of others, finding 1000's of pictures of other cd'ers on photo sharing web sites such as Flickr, all these things have giving me ever more confidence. I now have "My clothes", things that fit and suit me, footwear that doesn't cripple my feet. I think it's impossible to underestimate just what a colossal impact the WWW has had in taking me down a path that had helped fulfill my need to be the person that I am.

Helen

It has helped greatly. Just knowing that I am NOT the only crossdresser in the world helped me a lot!

It's helped, and yet also caused me to face reality. It was certainly nice to be able to buy the clothes that I've always wanted in the right sizes, of course, including girl shoes, which I hadn't worn since school days because of my huge feet. And yet, it also allowed me to test the waters to see exactly how women really felt about men who crossdress, and that experiment came back with results that sort of shocked me. I had always believed that crossdressing was just like any other behavior that women don't particularly like, but would tolerate if there were enough other good qualities in the man. I had no idea of how much it negatively influenced whether a woman would be attracted to us. I did learn all the things that naturally charming men do that ARE attractive to women, and that has helped me tremendously in the social arena. Searching through all the dating guru's advice also helped to shape my knowledge of how the subconscious plays a huge part in male female relationships too. Without the 'net, I'd be just another 'lost' old guy, with no hope of any female companionship at all. At least I was able to learn how to 'act' the part of a successful, charming, normal heterosexual male. Thanks, internet. LIfe would have been even rougher without you. For example, right now, I'd be typing a letter to myself.

It's hard to imagine that any of us would have gotten out the door without the Internet. And without people like us getting out the door, there would be no "T" in LGBTQ. The Internet has helped me find clothing that will fit me, helped me to find friends of a similar ilk, helped me to find places to go dressed with CD girlfriends, and finally helped me to find classy lingerie, wigs, forms, and heels that are just not available in the brick and mortar shopping world! Oh yes, I can well remember how pathetic my CDing was before the Internet and my eventual liberation because of it.

The internet is a great thing. But there is parts if it we could well do without. I love this part of it talking to all you girls.:hugs:
Angie

Yeah, chalk me up as yet one more who thought he was the only person in the world who did this hobby. As a confused high school kid, I knew I was attracted to women only, yet why did I get such a thrill when I'd dress up like one? Thought for sure there's gotta be something wrong with me, and I always felt like I was different than other men.

Fast forward to about the year 2000 (age 39) when I first got the internet, I sneakily Alta-Vista'ed (no Google then!) CD'ing, and I was overwhelmed by how many more were just like me! Made me much more secure in my sexuality, and gave me so much great information that I could never find at the public library!

Hi Lucy Lou, It's the best thing that ever happened to Crossdressers.

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Originally Posted by Cheryl T

I simply wish it had been around when I was in my teens and twenties. It would have made a huge difference in how I felt about myself at that time and I'm certain it would have changed my entire approach toward this and life in general.

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I could not agree more. I am 48 so I have benifitted greatly but it would have been great to have had the info that is on the net when I was in my teens.

Yes - I agree that it helps both practically and educationally... It has to have the important rider that Lucy finished her OP with: "putting the bad stuff aside..."

It has helped me in practical terms with makeup and fashion, buying stuff (lots of stuff! :)) - but that seems too trivial... Finding this place and other background material has helped me come closer to self-acceptance and less feelings of guilt and wrongness - THAT is really important... I'm sure as a source of information for those who suffer more acute GID it has probably been an actual life-saver, and that value should not be undermined by the seedier side of the web's 'hook-up' and dating aspects... I do fear that younger generations are unable to separate the virtual from the real world and have too much of a dependency on the 'always connected' world... I'm not convinced that's a good thing but maybe I'm just a modern day Neo-Luddite...

As always, some things can be used to good or not-so-good ends... :thinking:

Katey x

Lucy Lou-I can tell you how much the Internet means to me,as a closet CD.It is a LIFESAVER! I have ordered so much stuff online,like pantyhose,several skirts&blouses&3 pair of heels,all in secrecy&delivered to my home.I started CD when I was about 14 years old,wearing my mothers clothes,in the beginning.I would wait for her to go to work in the morning&I would spend the morning,prowling her closet,trying on all her dresses&skirts&blouses&tops.I learned to walk in a pair of her
heels,too.Soon,I got bold&took a fresh,unopened pkg of pantyhose out of her drawer&put them on&proceeded to dress in one of mothers good skirtsuits/w one of her
silk blouses&a pair of her heels&borrowed one of her wigs&sat down at her makeup table&did my hair&makeup.I have since built my own colossal wardrobe,but it
was fun when she went shopping(wink)The silky soft feel of womens clothes&pantyhose feels fabulous

I suppose the Internet is somewhat more tolerant than outside.

When one admin on a Facebook page concerning thigh high stockings outed himself as male after many, many photos of himself in said stockings and a huge number of miniskirt outfits, many of the responses were surprisingly positive.

From personal experience, however, most people in my local community are NIMBY types; crossdressers exist but my son / brother / husband BETTER NOT BE ONE in these peoples' eyes.

Addendum: as a Second Life user with a female avatar, I feel that that part of the Internet has both extreme tolerance and extreme intolerance towards Guys In Real Life (some of whom, like me, can be considered crossdressers).

Also, in certain circles e.g. the local cosplay scene, the term 'trap' is used to derogatorily refer to crossdressers, connotating misplaced lust or attraction, presumably carrying a degree of homophobia no less.

In sum (tl;dr as the Internet itself puts it): the Internet has fewer borders.

It certainly changed my perspective.
I may have been active for many years but it was a boost for me.

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Originally Posted by SandraInHose

Yeah, chalk me up as yet one more who thought he was the only person in the world who did this hobby. As a confused high school kid, I knew I was attracted to women only, yet why did I get such a thrill when I'd dress up like one? Thought for sure there's gotta be something wrong with me, and I always felt like I was different than other men.

Fast forward to about the year 2000 (age 39) when I first got the internet, I sneakily Alta-Vista'ed (no Google then!) CD'ing, and I was overwhelmed by how many more were just like me! Made me much more secure in my sexuality, and gave me so much great information that I could never find at the public library!

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Sandra - This sums it perfectly for me as well!

the real question is...

How much has the Internet HURT?

oh god!

I wish the internet had never been invented. Because of the internet, our marriage has been damaged. I hope we are able to repair and overcome the problems that were all started by sites on the internet.

The Internet has helped me tremendously by allowing me to slowly figure out who Briana is. Without the resources that I've been able to utilize, I'd be even more confused than I already am now.

Plus, the discreet shopping? Love ittt!

I think it has helped a lot indeed! The online shopping is great, and of course, sites like this! :)

The internet has helped a lot.

No more trying to figure out if your the only one. Also scouring magazines for any snippet of information. Some of the better book stores had educational books.

Now all the information is at your finger tips. I found a chat room and was pointed in the direction of this forum which has given me some wonderful friends. It hard to believe that was in 2005. It has been a great source of advice, support and information over the years. Also the internet helped me find a few local support groups some of who's members I consider friend not just aquaintances.

The internet saved me from who knows what. I was miserable, confused, selfloathing and downright depressed because I was a normal guy but I loved wearing womens clothes and I knew I wasn't gay.
Through it I researched Crossdressing, realized I was not the only one and it gave me some inner peace.

I can't tell you how much the internet has helped me. I can sit for hours and do research on a specific subject. I read and learn. It's helped me learn that CDing is not just me but for a lot of others as well. It's helped me to realize that I'm not the only one. It's helped me learn how to approach my wife and talk with her, buy clothes online and in public, dressing tips, and make-up tips. And if the articles I've read doesn't help, I turn to the video world. There are so many how to videos on almost anything. It's an endless amount of information that has answered many of my questions. It's been amazing and very, very helpful.

I know this is meant for the cders, but let me just say that this site and all of you have been very helpful for me. I don't really post that much but I do enjoy reading the theards and seeing other peoples view. Everyone here has been so friendly and helpful anytime I post something. I was on a different forum for a short time that is meant for wives and gfs of cders and boy let me tell you the negativity and resentment on that site was insane, nobody was helpful and I pretty much got bashed for enjoying and making the most out of my husbands hobby. This board has been a blessing and has helped me understand everything so much better.

Interesting question

Without the help of the internet I would say Rebekah would still be a figment of my imagination and tearing me apart mentally. From reading the coming out to loved ones thread here, I would never have found the courage to tell my wife about Rebekah and things have have progressed slowly from there.

Being able to order online and return clothing has helped me figure out very quickly my correct sizes. I am now going to expand my girlie wardrobe a little over the coming year.

So to the question has the internet helped me I would have to say an emphatic yes.

I would have been lost and isolated without the internet and the introduction to all you wonderful people out there, sharing our common interest.

Yes, electronic media has certainly opened up the secrets of our TG and CDing to a more accepting world wide Society.

As many others have said the internet has been a great blessing for many of us who crossdress. It is so comforting to know that there are many others out there like me.

I am glad in some ways that the web was not as developed when I was single in the early and mid 90's, when I could do what I pleased when I pleased. Freedom + knowledge + pink fog + being young and somewhat passable = could have led me down I path that I am glad I didn't travel.

My advice for the young lurkers who may be reading this. Living for the moment is fun, but tomorrow will be here before you know it. Choose the path you want to travel and plan ahead. Once a bridge is burned, it takes lots of effort to rebuild it.

Just think, if it wasn't for the internet, men would still be having sex with actual women instead of porn. How barbaric!