Why do most of CD's seclude themselves from ordinary people?

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03-01-2015, 12:09 AM
Robin777

I ditto the statement about being an introvert. Being a card carrying member of that club.
03-01-2015, 03:08 AM
Adriana Moretti

I think when it comes to crossdressers.com.......alot of people live in paranoia, guilt, shame, seclusion and secrecy....I get that.....but on the same token....those who go out, dress accordingly, have confidence, and can socialy adapt to situations have no problem going out in public. MOST of those people, with a few exceptions are NOT on this forum so IMO the forum is one sided that way. The fear of being hurt is always present, no mater how you are presenting...IMO it is what and how you deal with it BEFORE you step out the front door that seperates you, or secludes you in a closet. I see the same transgender murders as everyone else, they never stop me from living or going out, but will always keep me aware of my surroundings. It is really split across the board....some people live in a closet...others know you only live once....I get both sides, and have seen and observed both sides....and when dressed in a vanilla enviorment I have never gotten more than a curious look....I am ok with that ...the more you step out, the more you see it's not that bad out there and the more confidence you gain . My new thing is to push the vanilla boundry without doing anything stupid like going to hooters on a monday night footbal night.....no issues yet......yet being the keyword but at least I put on my big girl panties and step out. You only live once....as far as being introverted....I am as introverted as they come....but THATS to the vanilla world....and they dont matter to me,,,,,they shouldnt to you either . Who cares about them.
03-01-2015, 03:48 AM
PaulaQ

The reason many stay closeted is very simple. It is socially unacceptable in western civilization for men to wear women's clothes. There has been progress made on this, but there are a number of problems:
1. Some locales allow discrimination against trans*. That means you could lose your job or have trouble renting an apartment if it is widely known you dress.
2. Many times, friends, spouses, SO's aren't accepting of CDing.
3. There is, unfortunately quite a bit of violence against trans*. 8 trans women, at least, have been killed so far in the US so far this year, and one of our own members was assaulted recently. The odds are, you won't encounter violence, but there are some extremely transphobic men who will have absolutely no problem doing bodily harm to you should you have the misfortune of encountering them.
03-01-2015, 07:32 AM
susan54

Where I live, I can go out fully (or even partly) dressed with no problems, and I do,though not as frequently as I used to just because I have other things to do. It is becoming increasingly difficult to justify the additional time to look good in public - I do not wear make up at home, or a wig. There is no fear in going out and I love interacting with women when I do - and most of them know I am a man and are relaxed about it - but few of them know the man as a man.

I work in a sector where I know with certainty that I would be OK at work wearing womenswear. I do not feel I am a woman and acting like one with colleagues would just be weird so it would only ever be LOOKING like a woman.

So if I can do all that, why don't I? I can see no benefit. I get as much from cross-dressing as I need or even want without this. I also like women viewing me as masculine. I prefer the company of women and enjoy the mild flirting and that usually stops when you put on a dress. But the main reason is that I have a certain status because of what I contribute to society and that is what I want to be remembered for, not to be remembered as the guy in the dress.

It is not fear. It is preference.
03-01-2015, 08:50 AM
jsunic_1978

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti

I think when it comes to crossdressers.com.......alot of people live in paranoia, guilt, shame, seclusion and secrecy....I get that.....but on the same token....those who go out, dress accordingly, have confidence, and can socialy adapt to situations have no problem going out in public. MOST of those people, with a few exceptions are NOT on this forum so IMO the forum is one sided that way. The fear of being hurt is always present, no mater how you are presenting...IMO it is what and how you deal with it BEFORE you step out the front door that seperates you, or secludes you in a closet. I see the same transgender murders as everyone else, they never stop me from living or going out, but will always keep me aware of my surroundings. It is really split across the board....some people live in a closet...others know you only live once....I get both sides, and have seen and observed both sides....and when dressed in a vanilla enviorment I have never gotten more than a curious look....I am ok with that ...the more you step out, the more you see it's not that bad out there and the more confidence you gain . My new thing is to push the vanilla boundry without doing anything stupid like going to hooters on a monday night footbal night.....no issues yet......yet being the keyword but at least I put on my big girl panties and step out. You only live once....as far as being introverted....I am as introverted as they come....but THATS to the vanilla world....and they dont matter to me,,,,,they shouldnt to you either . Who cares about them.

It took me a LONG TIME to just step out on the OTHER SIDE of town little by little, gas station stops in my home town on my way home, now i go to my local PUBS :)
03-01-2015, 09:04 AM
jsunic_1978

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti

I think when it comes to crossdressers.com.......alot of people live in paranoia, guilt, shame, seclusion and secrecy....I get that.....but on the same token....those who go out, dress accordingly, have confidence, and can socialy adapt to situations have no problem going out in public. MOST of those people, with a few exceptions are NOT on this forum so IMO the forum is one sided that way. The fear of being hurt is always present, no mater how you are presenting...IMO it is what and how you deal with it BEFORE you step out the front door that seperates you, or secludes you in a closet. I see the same transgender murders as everyone else, they never stop me from living or going out, but will always keep me aware of my surroundings. It is really split across the board....some people live in a closet...others know you only live once....I get both sides, and have seen and observed both sides....and when dressed in a vanilla enviorment I have never gotten more than a curious look....I am ok with that ...the more you step out, the more you see it's not that bad out there and the more confidence you gain . My new thing is to push the vanilla boundry without doing anything stupid like going to hooters on a monday night footbal night.....no issues yet......yet being the keyword but at least I put on my big girl panties and step out. You only live once....as far as being introverted....I am as introverted as they come....but THATS to the vanilla world....and they dont matter to me,,,,,they shouldnt to you either . Who cares about them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by susan54

Where I live, I can go out fully (or even partly) dressed with no problems, and I do,though not as frequently as I used to just because I have other things to do. It is becoming increasingly difficult to justify the additional time to look good in public - I do not wear make up at home, or a wig. There is no fear in going out and I love interacting with women when I do - and most of them know I am a man and are relaxed about it - but few of them know the man as a man.

I work in a sector where I know with certainty that I would be OK at work wearing womenswear. I do not feel I am a woman and acting like one with colleagues would just be weird so it would only ever be LOOKING like a woman.

So if I can do all that, why don't I? I can see no benefit. I get as much from cross-dressing as I need or even want without this. I also like women viewing me as masculine. I prefer the company of women and enjoy the mild flirting and that usually stops when you put on a dress. But the main reason is that I have a certain status because of what I contribute to society and that is what I want to be remembered for, not to be remembered as the guy in the dress.

It is not fear. It is preference.

very well SAID SUSAN :) yes..., we contribute to SOCIETY :) everyone likes a FUN POSITIVE PERSON :) when im out as a GUY i hold the door for women when im out as JENN men hold the door for me and my guy mode sometimes kicks in and i fight over the DOOR let me hold the door for you, with a smile, then i chuckle a little....OOHHHH (to my self) i forgot for a second im in girl mode and men hold the door for WOMEN :)
03-01-2015, 09:11 AM
jsunic_1978

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti

I think when it comes to crossdressers.com.......alot of people live in paranoia, guilt, shame, seclusion and secrecy....I get that.....but on the same token....those who go out, dress accordingly, have confidence, and can socialy adapt to situations have no problem going out in public. MOST of those people, with a few exceptions are NOT on this forum so IMO the forum is one sided that way. The fear of being hurt is always present, no mater how you are presenting...IMO it is what and how you deal with it BEFORE you step out the front door that seperates you, or secludes you in a closet. I see the same transgender murders as everyone else, they never stop me from living or going out, but will always keep me aware of my surroundings. It is really split across the board....some people live in a closet...others know you only live once....I get both sides, and have seen and observed both sides....and when dressed in a vanilla enviorment I have never gotten more than a curious look....I am ok with that ...the more you step out, the more you see it's not that bad out there and the more confidence you gain . My new thing is to push the vanilla boundry without doing anything stupid like going to hooters on a monday night footbal night.....no issues yet......yet being the keyword but at least I put on my big girl panties and step out. You only live once....as far as being introverted....I am as introverted as they come....but THATS to the vanilla world....and they dont matter to me,,,,,they shouldnt to you either . Who cares about them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by susan54

Where I live, I can go out fully (or even partly) dressed with no problems, and I do,though not as frequently as I used to just because I have other things to do. It is becoming increasingly difficult to justify the additional time to look good in public - I do not wear make up at home, or a wig. There is no fear in going out and I love interacting with women when I do - and most of them know I am a man and are relaxed about it - but few of them know the man as a man.

I work in a sector where I know with certainty that I would be OK at work wearing womenswear. I do not feel I am a woman and acting like one with colleagues would just be weird so it would only ever be LOOKING like a woman.

So if I can do all that, why don't I? I can see no benefit. I get as much from cross-dressing as I need or even want without this. I also like women viewing me as masculine. I prefer the company of women and enjoy the mild flirting and that usually stops when you put on a dress. But the main reason is that I have a certain status because of what I contribute to society and that is what I want to be remembered for, not to be remembered as the guy in the dress.

It is not fear. It is preference.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulaQ

The reason many stay closeted is very simple. It is socially unacceptable in western civilization for men to wear women's clothes. There has been progress made on this, but there are a number of problems:
1. Some locales allow discrimination against trans*. That means you could lose your job or have trouble renting an apartment if it is widely known you dress.
2. Many times, friends, spouses, SO's aren't accepting of CDing.
3. There is, unfortunately quite a bit of violence against trans*. 8 trans women, at least, have been killed so far in the US so far this year, and one of our own members was assaulted recently. The odds are, you won't encounter violence, but there are some extremely transphobic men who will have absolutely no problem doing bodily harm to you should you have the misfortune of encountering them.

IM NOT GAY but even if trANS WOMEN GO ON DATES WITH MEN AND don't tell the man AND IF HE KISSES THE TRANS WOMAN AND then finds out its actually a man....THIS IS HOW MOST OF THE violence against us may happen ITS UNFORTUNATE, for fome of us that are attracted to a MAN Im attracted to FEMALES ONLY, but i don't have my picture on an LESBIAN DATING SITE....the point being is this......,we have to be carefull not to MIS LEAD when it comes to the dating SCEEN
03-01-2015, 09:18 AM
jsunic_1978

Quote:

Originally Posted by susan54

Where I live, I can go out fully (or even partly) dressed with no problems, and I do,though not as frequently as I used to just because I have other things to do. It is becoming increasingly difficult to justify the additional time to look good in public - I do not wear make up at home, or a wig. There is no fear in going out and I love interacting with women when I do - and most of them know I am a man and are relaxed about it - but few of them know the man as a man.

I work in a sector where I know with certainty that I would be OK at work wearing womenswear. I do not feel I am a woman and acting like one with colleagues would just be weird so it would only ever be LOOKING like a woman.

So if I can do all that, why don't I? I can see no benefit. I get as much from cross-dressing as I need or even want without this. I also like women viewing me as masculine. I prefer the company of women and enjoy the mild flirting and that usually stops when you put on a dress. But the main reason is that I have a certain status because of what I contribute to society and that is what I want to be remembered for, not to be remembered as the guy in the dress.

It is not fear. It is preference.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulaQ

The reason many stay closeted is very simple. It is socially unacceptable in western civilization for men to wear women's clothes. There has been progress made on this, but there are a number of problems:
1. Some locales allow discrimination against trans*. That means you could lose your job or have trouble renting an apartment if it is widely known you dress.
2. Many times, friends, spouses, SO's aren't accepting of CDing.
3. There is, unfortunately quite a bit of violence against trans*. 8 trans women, at least, have been killed so far in the US so far this year, and one of our own members was assaulted recently. The odds are, you won't encounter violence, but there are some extremely transphobic men who will have absolutely no problem doing bodily harm to you should you have the misfortune of encountering them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti

I think when it comes to crossdressers.com.......alot of people live in paranoia, guilt, shame, seclusion and secrecy....I get that.....but on the same token....those who go out, dress accordingly, have confidence, and can socialy adapt to situations have no problem going out in public. MOST of those people, with a few exceptions are NOT on this forum so IMO the forum is one sided that way. The fear of being hurt is always present, no mater how you are presenting...IMO it is what and how you deal with it BEFORE you step out the front door that seperates you, or secludes you in a closet. I see the same transgender murders as everyone else, they never stop me from living or going out, but will always keep me aware of my surroundings. It is really split across the board....some people live in a closet...others know you only live once....I get both sides, and have seen and observed both sides....and when dressed in a vanilla enviorment I have never gotten more than a curious look....I am ok with that ...the more you step out, the more you see it's not that bad out there and the more confidence you gain . My new thing is to push the vanilla boundry without doing anything stupid like going to hooters on a monday night footbal night.....no issues yet......yet being the keyword but at least I put on my big girl panties and step out. You only live once....as far as being introverted....I am as introverted as they come....but THATS to the vanilla world....and they dont matter to me,,,,,they shouldnt to you either . Who cares about them.

i NEVER VENTURE OUT TO NEW BARS ALONE....i stay in the neighborhooh where people HAVE MY BAQCK i usually just go out mainly in the day time, i stick to where im KNOWN
03-01-2015, 09:32 AM
Alice Torn

I worded it poorly in my first post. I should not have said, that womaen can wear what were considered men's clothes, and it is accepted. I would have been better, to write, women can pretty much wear anything they want, and it is accepted, but, there is still an edginess, and stigma, when a man wears clothes designed for women, with the majority of people in western societies.

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