I think this is an important point to consider when going out. This is a point that was emphasized to me by the first crossdresser I ever met in real life (probably about 10 - 15 years ago), and has stuck with me since that meeting.
Printable View
Yes, the general atmosphere is more "politically correct" these days.
However, and this is a big "however"........
The US is also much more politically divided these days and the homophobes are getting bolder.
Also, since 9//11 people are more attuned to anyone who does no look quite right etc to them and there are cameras everywhere.
Years ago, I used to go to an out of town to major mall dressed but, I would think twice about doing that theses days.
As tempting as it is to go clubbing, or bar hopping, this is NOT something women do alone. Put together a group for a GNO, and watch your consumption. Cis people don't handle alcohol well at best of times, and when a man senses any kind of threat, they can become abusive, or violent.
Every town, area, or neighborhood has a place the lowest common denominator hangs out. Don't go there, even in a group.
Hi Nicole,
I think that one of the issues is that people like to feel comfortable in themselves when they meet other people. They like to feel comfortable in knowing how to "classify people" and therefore comfortable in how they should react, especially when it comes to gender identity. The scenario you gave about the lads dressed up on a "stag do" probably doesn't bother people because they are still obviously a bunch of blokes and therefore the person viewing them still feels comfortable because they know how to address them. My thinking is that when coming face to face with a crossdresser/transgender person walking down the street in a more ladylike fashion, some people (especially people who might not have interacted with one of us before) might feel uncomfortable and unsure of the situation.
For myself, I live in a large city in Northern California, but I haven't always lived here, and I do think that (for the most part) people in bigger cities get exposure to more of a diversity of people and cultures and that leads to nonchalance of difference between themselves and others. When I used to live in a small town in the country I was more wary of my CDing being accepted, whereas where where I am know, I'm less of an anomaly. .... well that's my 2 cents anyway.
Hopefully, it doesn't matter how accepting the general public is because they just see a woman and don't give you a second glance.
If you don't pass or don't care and walk around town as a man in a dress, it depends where you are but I would say that in general people probably won't say or do anything rude but they are not "accepting".
I'll explain that to the women who come into the bistro I hang out in...often alone. In the last month I have met two women who came in alone looking for a place to relax and grab a wine. Interesting how people make rules for other people huh? Funny, I have only had maybe two men get belligerent with me....and those I remember being escorted out the door.
How accepting? Women will chat me up frequently. Men will occasionally. Couples often.
I need to go out where you do I guess. I have had people take pictures, do other rude things. Some people today are really rude, and it is getting worse all the time I think. Now I try to go to the bigger cities, that seems to be better all around. People are more accepting there I think.
Hugs,
Bree :)
Is there any real evidence of this? Certainly crimes against LGBT persons are more in the news, but it seems to be more a case of these stories finally getting the attention they should, not being shuffled under the carpet with "oh, let's not run that, it was just a tranny who got killed..." I'm certainly not letting these stories stop me from presenting as I wish. I just make sure that I do so in safe environments, just as a GG would.
Well, that would depend upon the club. I often go alone to a private club in Hollywood and feel perfectly safe, particularly when the doorman takes my hand and says "Welcome home" as I enter. Five bars in the club, lots of drinking, but I have never been treated with anything but respect.
OTOH, I wouldn't go barhopping to rock clubs in WeHo without a few winggirls close at hand.
I seem to do fine in SE Virginia and Richmond.
Most women do not go "clubbing " alone. They have been raised to believe it is unsafe and that "proper" women do not go to clubs or bars. etc. alone. Some women ignore tradition and go out alone. Some crossdressers do as well, figuring that they are strong enough to protect themselves. Take your choice.
My experience is that most people are surprisingly accepting to this. I very seldom experience anything negative when I am out. Some people smile and seldom someone laughs at me. I really couldn’t care less if they do, and I don’t allow them to destroy my chance to have a great time. Why should we care. Some times when I am out I see someone tries to snap a picture with their cellphones. It doesn’t happen often. I believe some are being politically correct or just curious, but most really don’t care.
When I sum up all these experiences the positive encounters I have are so winning over the few negative ones. Heel up, and get out there!
The acceptance is getting better mostly, but it is still mostly due to location. Most major cities are likely to be in general more accepting. More accepting of everything. I live in what is considered a liberal state. But, this particular area of the state is not the socially liberal area one would think. To the point (I live in a smaller city) that if you were transported here without knowing where you were, and seeing any license plates, you would be expecting the General Lee to go flying by at any moment. Why the heavy concentration of this in this area, I really do not know. I am truly amazed by it at times though. I swear, there is more of the south up here than there is in the south... minus the accent, but sheesh, some of them seem to have a bit of that as well. magnetic polar shift maybe???
Because I have lived in a rural area and in places like Los Angeles, I do see the social differences and acceptance differences. A CDer in NYC will get very little attention, unless they are really seeking it out. Around here... there are some establishments that a CDer going to, especially at night I would not advise at all.
in general, most urban and suburban areas are getting mostly accepting. A CDer in public will get little attention unless they are really looking to get it. Most rural areas are quite a bit behind in the acceptance area. As with this area I am living in, a so called liberal state, in an area of population where people outnumber animals, still be wary of your surroundings.
[QUOTE=I Am Paula;3851807]As tempting as it is to go clubbing, or bar hopping, this is NOT something women do alone
I disagree. I go out to bars and clubs often. As Lorileah explained, women will chat me up often, and guys sometimes. When I go out I feel like I am part of the show. Going out these days in guy clothes is quite boring in comparison. The guys vary, once in a while a "chaser" trying to pick me up, to a fellow techie that talks shop, to an indoor only crossdresser wanting to talk about being out in the public. I have not had problems with undesirable people.
Hi JJJJohanne,
I'm like you...I'm a man who presents male and enjoys wearing feminine clothes. I know that even with a wig and make up I won't pass so why bother. Wearing a wig and make up doesn't feel the same as wearing the dress or skirt. I'm planning on going to a Talbot's outlet store at a strip mall--I would go from parking lot into front door. I plan on wearing a skirt I bought there a few months ago along with a nice blouse and 3" heels while shopping for more bargains. Thanks for being courageous and a trailblazer for the rest of us who fear going out. After dressing for years and staying home, it feels like being in a fish bowl. I did sneak out and wear my heels while in drab just so i could hear my heels click on the sidewalk.
Tina
Experience so far:
Austin, Texas, USA: Could go anywhere and everywhere - Malls, grocery store, restaurants, bars, dance clubs - dressed to blend or dressed to go out to a nightclub and dance the night away, and no one blinked.
Dallas, Texas, USA: Attended a large Anime convention. Went all over the convention area in a female fox mascot costume, and had a blast. Occasionally had to remove the head of the costume, revealing my male face on an apparently female body. No bad reactions.
Eugene, Oregon, USA (My new home town): Can go anywhere and everywhere - Malls, grocery store, restaurants, bars, dance clubs - dressed to blend or dressed to go out to a nightclub and dance the night away, and no one blinks. At the mall or in the grocery store or walking down the street downtown to go to a bar, the only comments I get are complements on how nice I look and how well I am dressed. I get treated 100% like a GG would get treated in that same situation, even when they almost certainly do realize I am TG, or I have clearly admitted that I am.
When I am not en-femme, I still wear pierced earrings and have my nails done 24x7 in relatively short French Cut acrylic nails. If anyone notices, they only offer complements on how great my nails or pierced ears look, and ask where I got them done.
Your mileage may vary. I have a fairly decent female voice and a pretty solid female presentation, and I'm confident going out in public as a lady. But even if I didn't have that going for me, here in Oregon the statewide anti-discrimination laws do include protections for gender, sexual orientation and also explicitly for gender presentation. So the law is on my side for going out dressed, using the ladies room if I am at least trying to look and act female, etc.
I am a man with a beard wearing skirts and dresses all the time for 15 years. I go everywhere in skirts: shops restaurants, bars, including trying on clothes in various shops. In these 15 years there were only 3 or 4 times where somebody made a slightly negative comment, nothing really bad or aggressive. I wore skirts in France, Germany, Australia, and in various places in the USA. No real problems whatsoever.