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If she told me and we started down the journey together. It would take the conversation in a completely different direction. Do we do a complete gender swap or is this a weekend thing or is it something that just comes and goes. I'm good with any of those but what is it.
I'd be fine with everything except cutting her hair. I don't find women with short hair attractive. If she was transgendered then I'd leave her.
Anyway I wouldn't be a hypocrite as I have decided to live my life alone as it wouldn't be fair to drop the bomb during a relationship.
The problem is, you're preaching to the choir here. Most men would be horrified at the idea. Most of us would go along with her, and see where it goes, because WE understand.
Me neither. I find short hair on women to be a real sexual turn off, which is why I understand why women want nothing to do with crossdressers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhian
That depends upon whether she still found me attractive. Just like not all mtf's are over the top feminine, not all ftm's are over the top masculine. There's a huge gray area to deal with, as we all know.Quote:
If she was transgendered then I'd leave her.
Pamela,
First thing I hate beards and so does my wife, she wears trousers most of the time and has given most of her heels away.
OK so I admit I will be a hypocrite, I don't want a man for a partner, I would want my wife to stay looking female and attractive, I still think she wears skirts and dresses better than trousers.
I would probably be more open to talking it through with her, and if she needed counselling I would certainly support her with that.
How would it affect my dressing ? I would certainly ask for the same openness in return, if she was agreeable yes I would go out with her dressed.
Long term living with it , it would depend on what sort of partner she would want if she crossdressed, would she become a lesbian, or still feel she needs a man ?
Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn...
DeeAnn
Agreed. I'm not sure we would make it out of the house that first day...Quote:
Originally Posted by carrie001
1. It depends on what Bob wants. If Bob wants to occasionally dress as a man, fine. If it means wearing mens boxers and t-shirts under her clothes, dressing at home, occassionaly going out as a male, being somewhat androgynous I'm all good. If Bob wants to take hormones and lie life as a male, I'm not too certain about that, just as I don't think my wife would stay with me if I wanted to transition. Given my cross dressing perspective though, I might at least give it a try.
2. Pretty much the same I would expect, a lot less than I actually get
3. Not sure how it would change the relationship. I think it would allow be to be a little more submissive, which I kind of lean towards anyway.
I like to put myself in the other person's shoes in a number of areas to assess if my judgement is sound or not. Thus, I totally understand my wife not liking me being Christina.
Conversely, I would not want her to be a CD dude. I would totally allow her and encourage her to do it not in my presence. I absolutely would not want her to cut her hair though.
It would be cool to go out together though if that's the way it had to be for me to dress up with her and go out. The rest of the time I would want my woman to be just that, a girly girl.
I have to admit I would at first not be comfortable with it. I had a similar experience when we decide to do a Bonnie and Clyde costume evening, and of course I was Bonnie and my SO as Clyde. When she first appeared I was shocked, and could not wait for the evening to end and see her as female again! It gave me a deeper understanding and empathy for non-acceptings wives. Fortunately my wife is completely accepting of me!
It's a bit different though as a cross dressing male can take their wig off and be a man again were as a woman can't easily grow her hair back.Quote:
Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
I'd hate it.
Having said that, I find feminine women in trouser suits very attractive, but the thought of walking around with a mannish woman definitely doesn't appeal. That's also why I would never expect my wife to walk around with me dressed as a womanish man.
I could get pretty interested in the strap-on idea, but that would be for the bedroom, not the mall.
I'd be upset she cut her hair.... but it could be cute I guess? I dunno
And as I don't go out in general public - shopping would not be on the cards with me in girl mode.
But in drab - sure.
The rest wouldn't bother me to be fair.
Would depend on how often she did it I guess, much in the same way my wife views my own transgenderism.
But if that makes her happy, then I would want her to do it.
Who would it change our relationship? Well that would again depend on the above.
But I'd still be in love with her. She's still the same person.
Don't know what I would do actually.
Play it by ear I guess.
Thought provoking post Pamela, I'd be OK with it I think...minus the face fur (but I don't wear fake boobs either 😉 )
It's interesting that many CDs fantasize about dating or having sex with a man but the idea of doing the same with a masculine woman triggers the gag reflex. Things that make you go hmmm!
LSS:
Logic? We don't need no stinkin' logic!?!?!?
DeeAnn
I think about this reverse scenario quite a bit. It's interesting that (it seems) so incredibly rare. It's an interesting study, but seems so unrealistic.
I could deal with this just fine. I could see myself taking her shopping, going out to a bar with her, maybe even attending her events. As long as it was a hobby and it didn't take over our relationship, I would be fine.
I wouldn't find it a turn-on for her to pretend to be a man in bed with me, but I would roll with it every now and then if it was really necessary for her. Which is what I would want in the reverse.
But yeah, her transitioning into a man would probably make me walk away. I imagine it would be the same for her vice-versa
I would show her the same respect she has shown me over the past regarding my individuality, which has no bounds. It is a basis of our relationship. As to the beard? I had one for most of my life. If she wants a turn, she should go for it. The only no-no would be to try to hide it from me.
Dee :fairy1:
My wife would never pass as a man so the whole idea is improbable. Also, cutting the hair is a bit more drastic on her part than slipping on a wig is on my part. The rest would be interesting, at least for a while.
One of my fantasies is that there is some sort of pill we could take or chamber we could enter where my wife and I switch bodies for a week or two. I have her body and she has mine. I probably don't have to specify what would happen first, but I'm sure it would be a fun week or two.
This thread is awesome! There is so much misogynistic male based nonsense interjected and spewed here, I don't even know where to start. Carry on.
j1:
As they said in the Westerns...
The Old Ways Die Hard.
DeeAnn
Sorry I can't deal with Bob as his name but I like to think after the initial shock I'd be supportive with it with a name change, but that's a personal issue with the name Bob.
The problem with the premise is, it is commonly used to antagonize crossdressers into making an objection, all in order to make us seem like we have a double standard. Then, when it doesn't happen, you continue to try to push the issue, as you have with the hair example. To what end? How many examples are going to be made in order to annoy someone into saying what you want them to say? Besides, what you're implying by the 'male can take off their wig and be a man again' isn't true either; as the female desire and behavior is already known. Doesn't matter to the women whether we're currently wearing the clothes or not; it's the fact that we want to wear them that now defines us to her. It's not the clothes; it's that we want to wear the clothes. Now do you get it?Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhian
I would go with her in girl mode and accept her for who she is, apparently we were both hiding a secret from each other.
That would've been super hot if my wife had told me she was actually a trans man. We could've stayed together. Even if we take out the factor of me also being trans, I'd have stayed with him. Seriously, I'd have found a way to make it work. I think our sex life would've improved, btw, at least once I got my head around the fact that I'd always been bi. I believe I'd have stayed with him even if I'd been straight - although there is no doubt in my mind in that case it would've been harder, and we'd have stopped having sex. I loved the person, not their body. But that's a lot of additional hypotheticals to pile onto an already hypothetical situation.Quote:
Originally Posted by pamela7
But hey - why stop there - let's suppose he's trans, I'm not, I'm straight (I am so not straight - QAF, even ignoring transness), AND I found that we really couldn't live well together after his transition. Even in that case, I'd have waited until his transition was pretty far along, he was stable, able to make it on his own. I absolutely would not kick him out a couple of months after a suicide attempt and before he was able to get any medical treatment to stabilize him emotionally. Nor would I spend the next three years trying to make his life difficult. We'd split, divorce, and it'd be over. I definitely would NOT have done to him what my wife did to me.