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Outside of my crossplays, I really haven't been out in public too much with my dresses. I really don't hide it, but at the same time I really don't advertise it. While it would be fun to get to wear them in some public situations, I'm not in a rush to get out there and show it off. I don't have anything in the form of an everyday outfit anyway so if I dressed up and went out, I'd stick out like a sore thumb.
Similarly, my SO only wishes to go out occasionally and rarely dresses at home anymore (it takes too much effort). Although I am 100% supportive and we do go out together, being known as her girl self by everyone he knows is not how my SO chooses to live his life and he has no incentive to tell friends and extended family. My SO is comfortable with his male self and to come out as a girl would rather be a lie because my SO doesn't see himself as a girl. So the closet is a comfortable place for us to be, if you want to call it that. We go out everywhere dressed except in our immediate area, we've had entire weekends away dressed and we've even had extended vacations away dressed. My SO is always ready to get back to guy mode when she has been presenting as a girl for awhile.Quote:
Originally Posted by audreyinalbany
The confusion over what "out" means can be avoided by pairing it with another word to give clarity. Am I out? That depends. My wife knows, so I have come out to her. But other family, friends, co-workers, etc. don't know, so I have not come out to them. You can enjoy going out, without coming out.
Not all closet dressers live in fear and shame. Some of us have no reason to come out or go out, happy and content to get all we need just by dressing up. Sometimes it's just about the clothes, and for some of us, it's simply and deeply personal.
This is true for my SO. But at the same time my SO has always been realistic in his knowledge that we do live in a world of people who are either biologically male or female (people who physically have ambiguous sexual anatomies are rather rare), and so my SO has not taken it upon himself to try to educate everyone he knows about the concept of non-binary gender. My SO's occasional choice of gender presentation does not define who he is as a person. However, had my SO been TS, then of course she would be transitioning and out to everyone as a female.Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleScott
Yes, this pretty much sums up my feelings about coming out. I'm out to my wife but no one else, and that's the way I like it. I tried the monthly support/social group route a few years ago and found that it ultimately didn't help me feel any more authentic as a crossdresser than being, largely, in the closet.Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleScott
Do what feels comfortable for you. Staying in the closet is a choice. It is OK.
I can say that I know I feel the same way at this point, but with the caveat that I would love to find other likeminded CDs or GGs to share dressing up with. what I wonder is, through your CD journey, have you ever felt differently about it? was there a time where you did want more than a closeted journey?
Long ago on my single years I wanted to share it with my family but by then I was living on my own and the right moment never came out, over the years I've met two or three friends, Ive gone out dolled up with them and just love the experience, from getting dressed and doing my makeup the hair and the bag, but again, on a very safe moment, and I think that this is the best for me, I live my daily life as one of the guys, you know, with the usual stuff like the male competition, trying to show who can drink more, lift more work harder, eating the hottest peppers, or playing better in sports, now days I don't do much of that, but also admiring the the some of the women around me dress, especially on a wedding or such event, while I'm in the same dark suit every time, but my wive loves to see me wear, and this how I like to keep my CDing sometime when I'm with the guys and we're taking about sports, work, trucks and stuff like that I'm just thinking, that I'm paying more attention at long dress that girl is wearing on the comercials then the rest of the game, LOL well thanks for all the replies, XOXO
If that works for you then you are to be envied! You avoid many of the anxieties inherent in leaving the house or interacting with spouse and family.Quote:
Originally Posted by almalove
If you had asked me that in 2011, I would have said the same. Too old, too tall, too unattractive, too scared. Now it's 2016 and I'm transitioning. Each person has their own road, and each road had many forks.Quote:
Originally Posted by almalove