Printable View
I'm inclined to agree. He's done things like this before, this is just the first time he brought the CDing into the equation. I didn't respond to the email, at any rate. It just seems pretty pointless. I've read so many posts on here by folks who have to hide from their SO or whose SOs refuse to accept them. It makes me feel like this issue really isn't about me, he's so angry with himself, he just isn't capable of a loving relationship at this point. I just need to move forward, I think.
Nobody, CD or SO knows how to deal with gender issues. We all have to learn.Quote:
Originally Posted by nothingclever
If she's like most CD's she's been dressing since before puberty, and has purged many times, only to start again. You are blameless. Further it was Christian of you to be supportive. you are the object of the anger, not the source.
You may just have to say to yourself "I wish the relationship worked out, I tried my best, but it takes two."
I'm getting to that point, finally. The shock of it all is wearing off and I'm starting to be able to look at it a bit more objectively. Thank you again, for all of the support and understanding you all have shown me.
It's just so strange.
I live in suburban DC, so it's a big city by any definition. I'm in a very large local CD group. We have a Girl's Night Out every couple of months or so. Lately, we've been attracting 70 to 90 girls. Some of them come from several hours away. We also have a very good record of helping girls on their first time out.
Of the girls I know well, some come with their SOs, some have a very supportive SO who takes the kids out for pizza so the CD can get dressed at home. Many are in a don't ask, don't tell relationship with their SO. Many don't have an SO or have an ex-SO or 2. I'm sure that many of them would welcome a GG who would support them.
I have a married GG friend who supports us. She told me that at one time she met a CD while "he" was in girl mode. She fell in love with him. It turns out, "she" was already married and broke my friend's heart.
It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.
It sounds like you ex-BF hasn't accepted himself yet, and until he does that, I'm not sure he can be happy or make anyone else happy. I'm sorry for you.
BTW, I'm pretty much the same person in boy mode or girl mode. In boy mode I'm and introvert and in girl mode I'm am more extroverted. As a girl, I hug friends; don't all girls. As a boy, no hugging allowed. When I'm shopping for boy clothes, I hate shopping at TJMaxx because I just want to find what I need, pay for it and go. When I'm shopping for girl clothes, the "hunt" is more than half the fun.
Oh, and one more thing. Sometime in the future your ex may, just may come to accept himself. If/when that day comes, he'll really kick himself for chasing away the best GG he is ever likely to find. Lightening doesn't strike twice.
You are really a good person. You should accept yourself and move on, knowing that things will only get better for you.
Steffi
Thank you for your kind words....this is kind of weird, a lot of people keep telling me how lucky my ex was and that I'm going to find someone, but I mean....it's pretty unlikely, he's the first one I've known to do this, or at least to share it with me. I don't think I'll ever find this again...which is part of what I need to grieve, I guess. Just never had an extra element on this order to deal with! It's been just one more thing...like breaking up isn't bad enough in general!
NC - your friend may be the first to reveal this to you, but I have read
Those that fully cross dress about 3-5 percent
Those that wear womens clothing under their own about 15-20 percent
According to some polls over 20% of men say that crossdressing is sexually pleasurable.
So it is not going to be uncommon you find someone who will enjoy it if you suggest it, or has been doing it and like you have heard here, is overjoyed to find someone who does not hate them for liking it themselves.
I'm a romantic and still see a chance with Alison to return and want to be with you. Doesn't mean you need to wait, but as you have read here, Alison will not die after so many years of existing.
And thank you for staying here and helping us!
Hugs, Ellen
I hope I do find someone who accepts all aspects of themselves, and of course, since I liked the CDing, I hope it's a part of an important relationship if I find someone. I don't know about suggesting they try it, might be a bit weird for us both....time will tell.
Alison isn't coming back, I don't think. If she did there would be so many issues to deal with aside from the CDing that we'd both end up exhausted in a day or two, I don't know....I guess time will tell on this too!