My Flame went out where do I go from here?

Natalie ,
I too am in the middle of this. I threw on some dressy shorts and a Ralph Lauren top and sandals last night- meh! It was like jeans and t shirt for work. I, like you don't really go out. I know too many people in my town and surrounding towns and I'm not "out". My SO is supportive so it's not that. Just gonna wait and see and continue doing things I like.

For me the time recycles and I've been male for a length of time. But it always came back strong. One thing you might try is going for a drive and see how that feels. Then perhaps go to a movie. It will be far more exciting.

I normally just the dull moments time; like how distance makes the heart grow fonder.
:)

I've also hit a plateau with my dressing. I was pretty heavily into it in my 30's, now in my 50's, not so much. I had a great wig back then that made me feel like a million bucks. I'm having trouble finding a wig that makes me feel that way now. Dressing for "my age" is not as inspiring as it was when I was younger.

I still underdress, sleep and lounge in lingerie, and that seems to be enough for now. So I say don't worry about it.

It will return, it always does. When it does return, believe what the Pink Fog tells you. And whatever you do, don't try to figure this thing out. Because it's like Christmas after you stopped believing in Santa Claus. It's still OK but it's never the same after the magic is gone. I haven't dressed in so long even my wife is complaining.

I have very set days when I can get to dress, sometimes the thought of applying make-up, wigs forms ect just doesn't appeal to me. However I go through with it. and when I'm ready and look in the mirror I think, Yes!, I'm so glad I did this. I'm very much a stay at home person, but I have been out a few times and loved it, it was sooo exciting and I'm definately doing it again . Just being outside is a real thrill.

If only it was that easy for it to go away

Your flame went out - where do you go from here?
Phoenix, where you, crossdressed again, will rise from the ashes.

Wow, I was so caught up in the Pink Fog for about seven months, dressing at least once a week, bought at least for dresses a week and posted quite a few photos.

Now the fog is just about gone. I think I'll go through my stuff and only keep the things I love.

I'm looking forward to the next Pink Fog, after 40 years of dressing I pretty sure it will come back!

That Pink fog will come and go. Sometimes it`s really thick for a while and then will lift for a while. I know it`s that way for me. I belive for me it`s stress related for the most part. The main thing though is DO NOT PURGE!!!! LOL.. Or you will have to buy new heels to kick yourself in the ass.. And yes the pilot light will burn for eternity.. :battingeyelashes:

I don't think anybody really knows the "why" of wearing women's clothing. If you have lost the desire for any length of time so be it! As long as you still have the opportunity to act on your desires when they re-emerge, why push it now?

Fluctuation in your desire to dress isn't entirely unexpected. Lest I invoke "Don't think of a polar bear" - just carry on, carry on, as if nothing really mattered. If it's here to stay it'll be back - just a matter of when. This, as with everything, is likely to pass.

To wit, don't worry.

i just want to add that loss of interest in things is a sign of depression. If you're feeling generally low and disinterested you might want to look into that.

Hi Natalie,
I have two answers for you.
First, I too have the CD desires that come and go. I stopped a couple times and put it on hold for months at a time. The down times seem to correspond to other things in my life (such as big work load, family problems, etc.). So don't worry, and don't purge your things. Put time away and keep all your stuff for the next time around.
Second, make a list of things you have never done while cross dressed. How about going to museums, parks, make over, shopping malls, etc. And then start going and checking these off the list. Every time I check one off my list, I seem to add two more! Have you tried a "meetup" group? In the Washington DC area we have two meet up groups for CD's that meet about once a week. I really look forward to going to these meetings, and seeing the other girls there.

Good Luck, Steph!

"The flame may have gone out but the pilot light is still lit. Just let it go until something or another turns the flame back on."


Ineke, that's a great quote! And how true it is.


I just recently came out of a 3.5-year absence from this stuff. Was probably the longest I've ever went...

I guess you could say some things happened years ago that freaked me out a bit, and gave me pause about where my life was heading.

Plus I honestly had no real desire anymore. I sort of did everything I had wanted to do with the whole CD thing at the time, and just lost interest. Didn't really miss it. And during that period, my time & energy & money were focused on other things, including a resurrection of a long-forgotten-about (non-CD) hobby of mine.


It's whatever. No need to force it. As mentioned, seems like that pilot light is always going, regardless what's happening in your life.



Though at the same time, maybe you're seeking new CD experiences to get you out of a slump & to revitalize the whole shebang?

Going for a drive, getting a whole new color wig, going to a club/meeting, dressing up for a Halloween party, or whatever it might be. Lots of fun (and sometimes not-so-fun) adventures & experiences to be had! :)