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Brandie, this was my thought process when she emerged in 2005 - I realised that Becky was a gift, not everyone gets to experience life on both sides of the gender divide. Over the years Becky has brought me so much joy, I have loved buying and wearing beautiful clothes, I have had some amazing adventures out as her and met some fantastic people. Over the years I have made very special friends and have been able to love having a more sensitive and emotional side to me. She has made me a better husband, parent and even business person, and most of all a better person and i am so lucky to be her.
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There is no other side. There is only me.
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I just went through the same thing. It was my wife threatening to leave me over my insecurities surrounding my feminine side. She was fine with my gender fluidity, but not with my shame. I went to see a therapist and just the cathartic experience of laying it all out enabled me to really realize that it’s only my concern of other people’s perception, and I had to make a choice between my fear of humiliation and my own mental health and marriage. I chose the latter and haven’t looked back. I quickly became comfortable talking about it, and I dropped that shame like a bag of bricks. It just kind of happened when I committed to it.
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I don't feel like I have an "other side" so I have no problems coping with it. I have the clothes, wig, padding, etc. but there's no "other side". I am the same person whether I'm wearing a dress or pants. I may try to walk and act differently when I'm dressed but it's an act.
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