Oh, I am so different! I am nicer, more attentive to GG's, and others, and ever so much more feminine! I love being a girl, and feel so good, all over!
Roxanne, Happy in Skirts
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Oh, I am so different! I am nicer, more attentive to GG's, and others, and ever so much more feminine! I love being a girl, and feel so good, all over!
Roxanne, Happy in Skirts
At the risk of sparking the wrath of all the other gurls, I am going to explore the possibility they missed the point entirely.
Identity doesn't change, but it can be discovered through experience. Every outfit I wear (even drab) is an experience. I feel one way wearing a casual dress, working in my home office. My thoughts and feelings are completely different wearing just a dress shirt over a sexy bra, panties, hose and heels, strutting around the kitchen sipping champagne and preparing some special treat for my love. I could list example after example but hope this makes my point.
We also explore to find unknown or unexpressed facets of identity. This can be both exhilarating and terrifying for a relationship. We've been married a long time and it's still some of the hardest work we do.
-S
So you are CD and your boyfriend is possibly CD!
I'm not sure which part of this I've missed, but if you really like each other? there is no 2nd chance for such a relationship!
Stacy!
Bluebell,
I've always felt like I was still me - just happier in a dress, etc. than looking like a boring dude.
But I've been told by several friends that I'm different: I move differently, I talk more softly, and I'm even shyer than usual.
OK. Maybe that's all true, but I'm still Me. My values haven't changed. My feelings towards others don't change. I still love (or hate) the same people.
I just get the chance to allow my more "girly" sensibilities to come out. ( I can wear pink, cry at movies, happily chat about "girl stuff", etc.)
But - like I said. I'm still me.
I'm fairly sure your partner is the same. Unless he has major issues, dressing pretty shouldn't change the person inside.
Everyone is different so this site can only indicate the range of possibilities you and your partner may experience. I can add one data point.
I’ve had 2 marriages with tolerant women. Both say that when I am crossdressed I behave somewhat differently. They say I exhibit the same core values, but express them differently.
Best wishes for you both..
Vale
I notice that no one replied to you in the thread, but can't tell if anyone has PM'ed (private messaged) you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Davina2833
IMO = in my opinion.
IMHO = in my humble opinion.
Like Saralin and Vale I am the same person with the same core values regardless of how I'm dressed. When I first told my wife of my crossdressing I was using the name Debbie, to which my wife replied you don't look like a Debbie you look like a Jill, so I adopted the name Jill. My wife also told me that if I dressed as a women she would not tolerate me acting like a MIAD, which is fine with me because when dressed I have always tried to adopt feminine mannerisms and tried not to walk like a lumberjack in high heels. I also try to soften my voice to a more feminine tone especially when out in public.
So to sum up I am the same person when dressed with the same core values that adopts feminine mannerisms, walk and speech patterns when dressed.
I think I am the same though when dressed I do carry myself different, I try to be lady like sitting walking etc. I think I am actually more understanding of women because of my desires to be feminine and dress feminine at times. It may be a wonderful little side benefit.
Hi Bluebell,
Like the others have said, personality-wise I’m the same person when dressed. Appearance wise is another story obviously...But is also on a scale. Sometimes it’s a few articles of clothes other times I go all out (from the outfit, make-up, wig, walk, talk, etc.) is all to attempt/appear more feminine. If you start with the basics with him; I highly doubt he’ll shock you with another ‘personality’.
May I ask, what is a MIAD? I’ve seen the phrase floating around but I’m not sure what it means.
Also, thank you everyone for your feedback, it’s been incredibly helpful 😊
MIAD = Man in a Dress
I'm the same person inside either way you see me, but there is a difference.
Some years ago when I first came out to my wife we began attending support group meetings. On the way home one night she said to me "you act very feminine". I looked at her at said, "I'm not acting".
A lazy CD'er! :heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebell
All kidding aside (since I am one, myself :p ), it's a guy who wears women's clothing... But *doesn't* get all fully dolled-up, with a wig, make-up, fake boobs & hips, etc.
Just a guy who presents as a guy & wants to be seen as one -- not as a woman.
If it helps any, think of it as a GG ("Genetic Girl" -- yes, we're big on our acronyms here!) who wears *men's* clothing, fully or in part, as their everyday outfit. Though they aren't trying to look like anything else other than their female self. A "MIAD" is just the inverse of that. :)
Anyway, to answer your OP...
I think something along those lines is probably true in many (but not all) cases. Just a slight tweaking in one's personality, whether it's what you described, or becoming a bit more introverted/extroverted, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebell
The same went for me during my en-femme days. And I'd definitely notice it & adjust/react a lot more when out & about in public, with strangers, especially when out clubbing at a vanilla hetero place. One of the reasons being, some guys would check me out, hit on me, whatever. And if one isn't really used to that (it was both awesome & terrifying at the same time! :eek: ), then that certainly had a bit of an effect on my personality & behavior, too, by becoming more timid, cautious, felt more vulnerable yet also desired, whatever. So, others can also sometimes play a role in all this, as well, depending on the situation.
P.S. Welcome aboard, and hope you enjoy your stay here! :wave:
Yes I do notice that I act and feel totally different.
The only way I can describe it feels like a whole new spirit enters my body and mind.
And nothing for nothing I do love the feel of a cool breeze up my skirt or dress.
Yes I am much more chatty & confident when out. I guess because women are & I have to step up my game. I'm hoping it will copy over to the non-CD me.
Hi Davina2833 :)! You can never have enough Davinas.
Lots of love
Davina x
Rachel,
Thank you for the reply, it really helps. We need to have an abbrev. forum list. Again thanks.
Davina2833
Always me. Just with a different focus. The clothes we wear (whatever the mode), the names we go by, all labels. Some folks fear labels, but the trick is to wear the label and not let the label wear you. "mother, father, friend, co-worker" what have you. Everyone who knows you only knows a part. Maybe a lot of it, maybe a big part, but they are all labels that carry a concept. Even your own name. Consider when you walk into a room, someone in the room has heard you come in, but hasn't seen you yet. They might ask "Who's there?" And most often, the instinctual response is not to say your name, but to say "It's me." This concept of "I, Me, etc" is the internalized self. The concept of self that most closely mirrors the inner you more deeply than the label of your own name.
Along with these labels are the roles we play. I am focused on good relations when dealing with customers. I'm naturally a friendly, helpful person, so that is me. I am more focused on figures and numbers with my boss. I'm am reasonably logical and intelligent, so that is me. I am chatty and engaged with friends. I like to share stories and experiences, so that is me. When I was a working musician, I commanded attention with 'stage presence'. I am an intense person, so that is me. At home, however dressed, I am fairly domestic and attentive to my wife. So that is me too.
I am always me. I like me, and all of these and many more factors are always present.
Do I act differently when dressed? Sure, maybe. But it is not a different person, just a more focused part of who I am.
I definitely act different while dressed. Just the act of dressing makes me truly excited with anticipation for the feel of sexy, tight-fitting womens' attire. (Trembling hands while appling mascara is a given:). I had spent 50 years of my life trying to get into womens' clothing (if you know what I mean), now I actually want to wear those threads. When I am finally primped to my satisfaction, my posture is better, my movements are slower, even my mind is calm and enjoying the moment. I become a woman in my mind, and I savor every second of it. Don't misunderstand: I love being a male, but I very much enjoy the prep and sensation of becoming a woman.
I'm very very new to this, but to answer your question, the times I've dressed I felt different. Definitely feminine...I enjoy the feeling. Ultimately I am just "ME" no matter what label or outfit you want to give me. The times I've dressed I did as a surprise for my BF (bedroom activities) and it drove him absolutely wild. HE makes me feel very feminine and I felt a rush being sexy for him.
Yes, quite a bit different/
For whatever reason, I've been hesitant in this thread.
Seems like unlike most responses I am very much different when dressed in virtually every aspect.
When I am dressed I find myself being extremely feminine. I act, walk and talk feminine. I feel that I am who I am at this time.
Back when I thought that I was actually supposed to be a girl (age 7 through about 20) I had carefully watched girls, and tried to learn how to behave like one, and adjust my body mechanics to match, at least in private. But I was careful to not to this anywhere in public, knowing the ridicule I would attract. Your mate is simply allowing himself to BE who he really is. Try not to read too much into it. Many of us went through this in order to sooth away the gender dysphoria that we feel. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is or might become likely to transition.
I am exactly the same while dressed. Some CDs seem to like the idea of an “alter-ego”, even referring to their female selves in third person (I find that very odd indead), but I’m just being myself. Even use my real name on the forums here.
Yes, I'm usually even more careful what I do or how I drive.