Don't think to far ahead, plan next week, get dressed whether you like it or not, this way you will find a better understanding of how you feel, 1 how you feel male, 2 as a female, you will be surprised
Printable View
Don't think to far ahead, plan next week, get dressed whether you like it or not, this way you will find a better understanding of how you feel, 1 how you feel male, 2 as a female, you will be surprised
From my personal experience Paula, there is nothing wrong. Before I had the major issues with my back, things were moving along nicely and I was even going to my first Halloween outing at a hotel with my wife! I was trying to deal with the pain, everyone saw, and even after several years of dealing with it, I really couldn't anymore...so surgery was scheduled, completed, and even after a year, I wanted so badly to dress and put on my heels, but I just couldn't! It took almost 2.5 years before I could wear heels again because I lost all strength in my left leg and partial right after the surgery, and couldn't stand in heels at all. So that gave me a form of depression and I just tired to keep myself busy with other things.
Slowly, I was able to get myself back into my dressing and felt an enormous weight lifted off my psyche. I too gained 60 lbs due to the medications and had 3 more procedures done in outpatient clinics after this surgery which have left me about 20% better than I originally was. But over time, I think that you will learn to deal with things as they are and just move forward..go get that new dress suit and just be yourself...no worries you will be back stronger than ever i'm sure! just look at me....
As a fellow back pain suffer-er. I get where you are at. Pain takes the joy out of a lot of things. Pain management clinics do help to lean to live with chronic pain. Taking little steps to learn to live with your new reality helps. When my back pain was bad, just wearing some jewelry while working helped remind me that I don't have to lose the joy in the things I like.
I think you have to consider seeking counseling for depression. You stated your back went "bad" and had surgery. You indicated your back has gotten better, but, to me that sounds a little "iffy." Continued back back, but, at a reduce level? Not completely resolved. Depression can really sap a person's energy.
Over the years I have had my interest or perhaps the correct term is need in being en femme has waxed and waned. My wife went through breast cancer treatment; chemotherapy, surgery, radiation. During that time it seemed my role as husband and protector came forth. A counselor I see for war related issues believe each person, man or woman, has some dna other the opposite sex. She feels in some it is greater than others. I suspect in my case the dominant trait of masculinity overrides any feminine traits. When I was in the army and in combat situations male hormones must have been raging to keep me alive. I had absolutely no thoughts related to anything other than to keep alive. I found when I was trying to escape from those wartime issues for which I do go to counseling the need to escape to the feminine side (as it were) increased. As I have become more at ease with my issues I have found less interest in being en femme. It is something I do when I need to do it. I don't to did for the hell of it.
So, if you're in a funk due to depression I would guess there are other things in your life that you are ignoring also. Try the counseling. My wife suffers from clinical depression and medication has helped her immensely.
I find it comes and goes. Like last week, it felt like an IMPERATIVE that I get into a dress ASAP. Other times, Im like "Who am I kidding? I look terrible." And anything in between. Maybe it's "Meh" today and tomorrow it's a need to look my best. There's a lot of contradictions in there, but, what the hey, we're contradictory people!
Hi Paula :hugs:, I am so happy for you that you are feeling better now,
Some Evenings I am just too tired to open the closet door, 76 and feeling it.
The desire is there, but the ambition is not there so I just set here En-Drab on my desk top computer.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..
Paula,
I had these experiences too, as I approached middle age. HRT helped me to evolve those lackluster feelings into something more. Much more. The definition of crossdressing has really changed for me since then.
I think this lack of interest affects most
one time or another . Many of the GG
I have talked with experience it fairly often
JAS
It ebbs n flows! I tend to think it’s hormonal I’m sure everyone goes through it!
"Anyone else have this trouble with getting older?"
Yes Paula! I'm 63 and although I still CD, it's in my vintage slips and panties and I have no desire to wear makeup and get fully dressed and go out in public anymore. At one time when I was younger, I did get fully dressed with makeup and all and go out, but not anymore. You're right that it can be a hassle and it would take me a good two hours preparation and unlike you, who looks so passable dressed en-femme, I wasn't passable, but went out anyways.
My urge to CD goes in cycles. There's times when I want to CD everyday, but other times where I go weeks with no desire to dress. It's just the way it is for me.
I had periods where the desire would ebb and flow when I was still working.
Mostly because there was simply not enough time for me because of all the things relating to work, home and such.
Now that I've retired I find just the opposite is true. It's all I want to do. I don't feel as happy if I'm not me and when things interrupt that I get depressed over it. I don't know where this is going but time will tell.
This is also pretty much where I am. I'm a few years younger, but I haven't been much interested in fully dressing for quite some time now. My dressing peaked in my 30's.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherri_Christopher
I still lounge in lingerie and silk pj's. and ALWAYS wear panties and sometimes a bra under my drab.
I've been back and forth several times. I haven't been dressing much here lately because I have to keep things very very very very low key at the moment, but I got me a secret stash of emergencies! :)
I just thinking of this tonight. The wife and I are getting ready to head out for another event with a group. Its a long drive " can't dress in this town" they changed the venue to another motel I guess nobody bothered to check the room rates for the out of towners. OMG!! So one night is not going to be cheap. Even the wife not usually saying anything said my femme experiences were getting a little out of hand. It just hit "Why Bother"? I'm not real passable, don't dress enough to be proficient at it. So what the hell I'm I doing. I keep looking for the little spark of light that has kept me going and feeling more like boxing Rochal up and throwing her under the bed. Feeling as though this is the last trip and it doesn't feel good. The thing that gets me is that I got over the pink fog years ago.
It is ok, to not want to dress up. It is ok to want to. Nothing wrong with it. It is ok if you never dress again, or do.
First of all the thing not to do is worry! this very thing happened to me about 2 years ago and I stopped dressing for about a month then the desire to dress returned and never left me I attached it to stress and health issuesboth of which are no longer with me.
Live your life and enjoy that's what I keep telling myself.
I wouldn't be to worried about it my desire goes away when im dating some one.When we break up it business as usual.The desire will come back.
I really didn't start dressing until I was 67 and now I'm 74 so I don't think age is a problem.
I would think losing weight would help your back and your confidence.
The dressing desire comes and goes so try and do things that make you feel better whether it involves dressing or not.
So sorry to hear that, Paula. To me, you were always the epitome of style, sophistication and grace...in short - a very classy lady, especially as your evolution as an accomplished and fully "passable" crossdresser progressed. I also continued to be mightily impressed throughout by your commitment to your family to keep this as a personal "issue" and not go down the road to full transition so as not to turn their lives upside down, even if that might have been your ultimate destiny under different circumstances.
Time to heal, get back into the saddle (or the pantyhose, as the case may be ;)) and bring some joy back into your life...you deserve it! :hugs:
Firstly you look great in the pic! Sometimes it’s a confidence thing.My way of dealing with the ups and downs is just to dress when I feel like it and not to stress over periods of not dressing. I am only happy dressing totally and feeling I look good. That kind of helps as it takes over an hour to get ready so I need to really want to dress in the first place. When I go out it’s always with ladies who then reassure me or possibly mention some area I could do better-especially brows. Try to enjoy it and hopefully you will! Hope your back gets better.
It comes and goes at times. If it doesn’t feel right for you right now then don’t force it. I find when I force it I actually start to get a bit turned off from it.
How this all pertains to you in your life is simply evolving.
Nothing to be concerned about, IMO. Seems like it happens pretty often with people like us. Myself included.
I naturally "hit it pretty hard" a couple times in my life, just as you once did. Living a woman's life as best I knew how. Actually seriously considered transitioning. Blah blah blah.
Those days are gone for me. Impossible to recapture or go back to that. Which is fine. I feel I had to go through all that, though, to get to where I am now.
For example, my avatar is no longer very representative of myself. It once was, back in the day (albeit a younger & prettier version). But currently, it's a false representation of my daily life. Not sure why it's even there, TBH, as it kinda feels like a lie, on many levels.
Outside of work & the rare family function, typically you'll find me wearing all women's clothes in guy-mode (though some don't consider that CD'ing, apparently to suit their own psychological needs? :brolleyes: ). But *what* I wear, and how I feel about it, is quite different than what it used to be like.
Hoodie & leggings, with running shoes or maybe flats. Comfy, versatile & kinda-sorta socially-acceptable (or at least relatively speaking). Again, in guy-mode... I'm not presenting as a woman. I own a wig & make-up, but very rarely wear that stuff these days. Also don't bother with any body-enhancements like fake boobs or hips anymore. Like you, I feel that it's just too much of a hassle & a big waste of time. Just not me -- or in me -- much anymore.
And you know what? I'm cool with that. If anything, it frees up my time, money & energy to do other things in life. And it's no longer this huge "weird" thing in my life, that it's no longer this overriding issue. Casually throw on some stuff, the same as I would with my clothes from the men's department, and I'm good to go.
Of course, this all came after like a 6-year absence from CD'ing. It was almost as if the pendulum had swung too far in one direction (female) for too long, so it had to make its way back in the opposite direction (male)... You know, before finally settling down somewhere in the middle.
My suggestion is to just have it play itself out.
And also, to open your mind & view this stuff now in a different light. And to experiment, try out different things you may not have considered before. It very well might never be the same again... Which, of course, is fine! Don't feel like you *have* to go back to your "old routine." That's not you anymore... It was once, but perhaps those days are gone. It happens, ya know. ;)
This is a new you... Embrace it! :)