Being a good neighbour !

Teresa, I admire your consistency that you ask the same questions of yourself that you have asked others to ask of themselves. I shall now demonstrate my consistency that, having defended others against you, my inclination is to defend you against him.

Having experienced people being 'uncomfortable' with me for a large proportion of my life, my sentiments regarding your neighbour are slightly more nuclear than what has been expressed here so far, but if he is capable of being reasoned with eventually, then I would support persistence with that approach. Your acceptance percentage in the neighbourhood is high enough anyway that I don't think you need him, but I understand your self-questioning and can imagine that him having been there first might make you evaluate towards his favour. However, the fact that your presentation has been consistent from day one adds in favour of you, I think... along with the aforementioned neighbourhood acceptance percentage.

All the best with however you choose to negotiate this conundrum!
- Lydianne.

I have a trans friend who I have only know as a woman and the way I think of her is easy to use female pronouns. A FTM person works for me and is transitioning, I knew him first as a female and even for me it is hard to use the correct pronoun. My wife and I were talking about him and I thought I should be better at using the proper pronouns. Maybe if you had started out female that is the way they would think of you.

Teresa,

OMG, your gardens are so beautiful.

That was such an inappropriate comment he made to his wife. I would never compare my wife to anyone and I certainly would not do it publicly.

You're a good neighbor. I would not loose any sleep over your neighbor.

Hi Teresa
It sounds like for the most part you've got nothing but good neighbors, and vice versa. That sounds to me like an unqualified success! There are just a couple of outliers and, heck, they just might not like you regardless of your gender/etc. I wouldn't be concerned; life is too short to worry about a neighbor or two.

Fran

Hi Teresa,
I don't know what it's like in your part of the country but I moved to the West Country 15 years ago. I was an "incomer", presenting as a male and even today I have neighbours who will not speak even if I speak. One guy two doors down refused to speak to me as I spoke to my next door neighbour. So remember "there's none so queer as folk" you've successfully sorted out your life, obviously made friends with some neighbours so if you have a few sad **** who want to ignore you or talk about you it's not your problem. Get out there and enjoy your life!

Teresa, people who are going to be uncomfortable were going to be uncomfortable with you whether they have seen you in male mode or not, in my humble opinion. A good neighbor is a good neighbor regardless of how they present. You have a beautiful garden.

teresa, this is your life, you went out of the way and beyond what most folks would do by making a point of from the get go to explain to all and sundry that you are TG to turn round and not dress just because of one bigot is denying you af your own true persona either side of you they ok its just the man opposite, maybe he is doing what he is told to do!! i,e semi ignoring you.
You should just be yourself, its your life, dress as you think fit but I certainly would not change just to suit an unbeliever over the road!

I'd like to thank you all for taking time to read my thread . I've just replied to a PM where they thanked me for telling my stories , I hope others reading this may have some thoughts on their own situation with neighbours , as Alice says , " There's none so queer as folk !" OK it is a UK saying but I'm sure you all get the drift . We never really know what goes on behind our our neighbour's doors .

I hope I haven't given too much of a wrong impression about my neighbour , we do have a laugh and he's very useful to know as he's a professional plasterer , and he has done some work for me . There is just one final twist to this story , he's from a large family and one of his older brother's has just bought a bungalow two doors up . When he told me I said that's great having a family member so close , he replied that it wasn't as he doesn't speak to his brother , I just thanked him for putting me in the picture .

Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't make them a bigot. Some people on this forum seem to think their is a bigot around every corner. Labelling someone a bigot implies that you can somehow read their mind. So, unless the person tells you they dispise TG people, labeling them a bigot seems awfully judgmental.