Age at which you came to grips

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Originally Posted by INeedThis123

And wearing a not so "classy" dress and 10" platform heels, a thong, a bra, putting on make up and lipstick, and walking around the house with confidence has become somewhat of an addiction. Advice, needed. <3

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If you love it, no harm done. I swing both ways as far as dressing. I have clothing that you will find only in a strip club, little school girl skirts with the white blouse, 6" platform heels, jean skirts that are way too short to be worn in public, pleather skirts and tops, and so on, then I switch up to my 1960's June Cleaver dress, long full skirt, below the knee and high neck line or a formal floor length gown with a sexy slit up the side. I wore the gown while relaxing with my wife last night. I love wearing it with a garter belt and stockings and letting the slit open up while crossing my legs, showing off the stocking tops and garter. My wife has seen me in all of it and can't help but laugh when I get a bit ****ty!

You need to realize you are not hurting anyone. Now on the other hand most people do not understand our desire to dress, so be careful if you take it public. The general public might have a problem with a CD'er dressed like a hooker wandering the streets, but wear clothing to blend in and they might not notice you.

When I was 9 or so years old. Evolved into a fetish by my 20s. Evolved out of being a fetish in my 50s. Now in my 60s. I dress to be me, no other reason, although at stressful times I find I need to be me more often... it does take the edge of stress and anxiety better than any medication. I dress as a normal feminine female (i.e. mostly dresses and skirts, pantyhose, not garters and stockings but rarely jeans or pants).

I can’t identify a specific date. I began early, not having a clue why I wanted/needed to dress...all lingerie, at first. I tried to quit...many times, thinking it would go away, but only to “fall off the wagon”. During the down times, I’d experience tension, anxiety and other distractions, which went away as I slipped on my lingerie. I found no answers in all my research reading. At that point, probably in my teens, I came to grips with my needs to dress. Once done, I never looked back.

Maybe you are indeed slightly younger than the median here, OP. There are, it's worth noting, those who are barely past the age you were when you first discovered this thing about yourself.

Me? I'm 48 and came to terms with being a CD two years ago but I know it's always been there. That, I think you'll find, is pretty typical, meaning your own story of teen dressing leading to dressing as a 30+ adult. So far, so relatable to so many of us.

As for fetish dressing, whatever. It's fine. No-one here judges you for WHY you CD. You're certainly not alone in dressing primarily for sexual gratification, and as Sherry notes, even for those of us for whom it's not a fetish as such, neither are CDing and arousal mutually exclusive.

The core of your post is the struggle with this aspect of your identity. It's implicit in the stridency of your username, even. Rest assured you're not alone. Some of us, particularly the younger ones, come early to an understanding that this, for whatever reason, is simply part of us. For others that self-knowledge is hard-won over many decades. For others still it's something we may take to our graves, unresolved.

BUT, and it's a big one, if you're going to strive for self-acceptance then this site is certainly for you. However we dress, whenever, wherever, with whomever, the one thing you will hear more than any other message is that of acceptance. Embrace that message, embrace this part of yourself and you stand to win a prize you could never have imagined: peace.

Whether it's for onanistic reasons or if you eventually transition, or like most of us you stay somewhere in between, you need that self-acceptance in your life my friend.

I’ll let you all know once it happens. Every time I think I have a clear idea in my head some random(or not so) thought comes whizzing through my head, the house of cards flutters to the floor, and I have to rebuild again. For a long time I would have identified it as a fetish, then life got too busy to allow sufficient time to exist in Eve’s space(6 kids will do that) and I found myself short-tempered, and so distracted by my desire to exist there that personal progress essentially halted. I currently think of myself as non-binary or gender fluid, but I have as many days where I think that’s just ridiculously stupid as I do days where I feel like it falls woefully short of the truth.

PS I’m 40

I started dressing off and on in my teens, but never came to grips with it until 35.

Like many others, started in teens! Married 34 years and 5 months! Wife passed away! It all came flooding back like a tidal wave! Actually became aware of all of this at age 65! This is where I became aware! There is a lot of knowledge, experience and opinions here! Much can be learned! Sit back and enjoy the journey! Hugs Lana Mae

I have had a desire to dress my whole life. I have always suppressed it. By the time I was 56 the desire was so strong I finally came to terms with it.

My name is Robin and I am a crossdresser.

there are a lot of variations when first starting to CD. My first event was when my mother put me in panties when I was about 5. There are no exact reasons or how you will progress. Humans have so many variations.

I have dressed since I was maybe 11 or 12. Like BTWimRobin, at 56 I am also finally at absolute peace with my needs and desires. Still closeted, but happy.

I started dressing when I was about 11. A lot of the time it was for sexual gratification, but I always knew there was more to it than that.
The style of clothes that I wear has changed considerably since then and it did include some ****ty things when I was about 19 or 20.
Now that I venture out, my choices tend to be clothes to blend in, but I still have one or two things that I wear only indoors that one might consider to be a bit more risque.

INeedThis123,

You are not alone. I to started when I was 9-10 and in my teens and 20's it was I think a sexual gratification thing.

Now I am more comfortable dressing and being feminine. Like HollyGreene above I do venture out, but I dress to blend in.
I do go out with a few friends 6+ times a year.
When in Vegas I have worn a little more sexy clothing but again I just want to blend in.

Good Luck

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I'm a stranger, here, when I am really struggling with what I think is a fetish, but borderline want to be, and feel, like a gorgeous woman.

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Take your time and read, read and read the numerous previous posts. It will come down to your feelings as a need vs a want.

You are not really alone. I refer to myself as a casual and intermittent cross dresser. I have never tried to go fully femme or to present in public although I think in my much younger days, the idea of trying to pass just for the thrill of it was appealing. So for me, it is still very much a private treat and yes, I admit that it is more of a fetish than a lifestyle. And oh by the way, I am completely heterosexual but I think as you read this forum, you will find that probably the majority of folks on here are heterosexual as well.

I can't really say that even after all these years I have completely come to grips with my situation. My gender feelings and my negotiations with the outside world continue to evolve.

So for me, I have a memory of being around 5 or 6 and wanting to wear leotards with the girls in my pre-school that did ballet and remember looking at the school owner wearing a shirt, jean skirt and t strap sandals and being hypnotized by the sandals. I mimicked her stance while she talked to another mom.
My grandma used to wash her panties in the shower and leave them to try in there. Every time I spent the night there and saw a pair, I’d wear them.
I didn’t start going full blown until I was in middle school and I’d stay home alone some. I’d raid my mom’s closet and try different things. At first I thought that was just a fetish. When I was in college I bought some used clothes from this lady who used to have a porn site in an amateur porn network. Again, thought it was just a fetish. For years that’s what I thought. It wasn’t until about 5 years ago that I started counseling and I realized and accepted that I am bisexual and that dressing is not a fetish, it’s my feminine side, it’s part of me. While I do enjoy sometimes getting sexual gratification dressed up, I enjoy wearing cute clothes around the house alone and trying different things on. Sometimes I just like being dolled up and watching tv, doing the dishes, whatever just being a girl.

i have been dressing since I was 13 I guess. At the beginning it was just mom's pantyhose or if lucky enough as my mother was a dancer a new pair of stockings. Her underwear was too big for me so that did not become a thing until I was older. I started trying some makeup around 15-16. Never really progressed with that and in retrospect I wish I had.

Now, at 59, I have little to no makeup skills and am trying to learn it. I have a sufficient enough wardrobe that I could go out from time to time if I could learn to get my face on without looking like a horror movie character. I have enjoyed the times I have gone out for Halloween and the recent photo shoots. I have been accepted well and want to do it more often.

Goals...

This site has helped some men struggling with their strong desire to dress up, to avoid suicide, believe me. It is the best site i have seen for those struggling.

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65 now, finally realizing it does not go away, and is part of me. I wish i had ot ever had this, though. My life would have been much easier, less traumatic, likely, and more social, and likely had married. Single all my life, no steady girlfriends, and lots of inner struggle and loneliness. And mental and emotional health and religious issues, too. Almost ended my life a number of times.

I've been dressing as far back as I can remember. Initially it was for sexual pleasure I believe. I'm 43 now and I think i'm finally starting to accept it. I've also noticed that when I dress, it's soothing, relaxing and stress relieving. I feel good and my soul almost feels lighter when I dress. Unfortunately i'm not very passable (i'm horrible at make up) and I don't live alone so I can't dress when and as much as I want to. I've finally gotten to the point where I think it's a part of me. Dressing has been difficult for me, I believe it's caused me stress due to guilt and the questioning of my sexuality. In my every day life i'm not attracted to men at all, but while dressed I am sexually attracted. I'm sure many of us have gone through this. This part i'm still struggling through and don't know if I can resolve it. Shared this to let you know that you're not alone.