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I had been buying everything on line with a few local purchases in drab! I went to Cato in drab and was looking at jeans and the SA asked if I wanted to try them on! I said if you don't mind! Well, I never bought any jeans, but I returned dressed and bought a gold top, gold and black pants and some boots! My first local place trying items on! SA were nothing but nice! Hugs Lana Mae
Thanks for the responses, all. Am sure the vast majority of the stigma is in my own head as many have said, but even this past weekend... was at a local DSW with my wife and daughter. The kids' clearance section was in the same aisle as the womens' size 10 clearance shoes, so while my little girl was eyeing all sorts of Paw Patrol and other nonsense, I cast a stealthy eye over what was right next to it. But within about 30 seconds of arriving in the aisle, a store employee decided it was time to do busywork by moving boxes around and basically watched me like a hawk the entire time. Not a "is there anything I can help you with?" or "Aww, your little girl is cute, what size does she need" or beyond it, just feigned organizing boxes while uncomfortably staring at me. Finally asked her "Ma'am, is there something you need from us?" and got a mumbled "Er, no.. sorry" and she went further down the aisle, but continued watching. Of course, could be that they've had a spate of thefts from the kids' clearance section in recent weeks, but still - that's the sort of stuff I always seem to get when I even go near a womens' section, even though that day I had "good reason."
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Another fun attempt today. Saw online that Macys was having a sale on bras, so decided to order a couple and opted to have them picked up at a local store since they only had one in stock in the size I wanted. Got the text saying that the order was ready, so hopped in the car and headed off.
Got there at 11:00am, shop was nice and quiet, and began forming grandiose plans of shopping in the lingerie section for a few more. Found the pickup desk, and was greeted by a pleasant elderly lady. "Good morning dear, how can I help? Oh, and online order, I'll be happy to help! Do you have the barcode or the order number? Great, let me just look that up..." Demeanor completely changed. Apparently her computer screen showed her a photo of me with a warning of some sort. When she looked back up from her screen, it was with a look of what can only be described as contempt.
"I need you to slide your drivers license, and I'll go and get your... items."
She returned after a few moments, holding two bras up as if they were made of toxic waste, and plopped them on the counter in front of me. At this point there were a couple of people in line behind me ready for the show.
(Ugh) "Do you need to try them on?"
Uhhhhh, no I'm good thanks?
"Ugh. Fine. If they don't... work for you, then you can return them in 90 days as long as the tags are still on." Shoves them towards me and waits.
Um, can I have a bag please?
"Oh, yes. That'll be ten cents please."
*hands over money, while woman puts on a show flicking the bag open repeatedly and tossing the bras in*
Left, feeling my ears absolutely burning in embarrassment. In hindsight, should have asked for a manager, or better yet made a complete fool of her by saying "Y'know sure I should try them on, in fact can you perform a bra fitting for me?" On the way out, noticed jeans were 40% off, so decided to get myself a pair. Lady at the checkout was far friendlier, and chatted politely as she rang me up. Then stopped at Marshalls on the drive home just to see what they had, and browsed without giving a damn. (And nobody batted an eyelid.) Tried on two pairs of dress slacks and a skirt, which the lady at the changing room obviously noticed when she gave me the garment count tag of three. And on the way out asked if any of them worked for me, and when I said "Um, no all too big" she said "Well, THAT'S a nice problem to have!"
I think how one approaches purchasing women's clothing is based on life's experiences. The treatment you received at Macy's is totally uncalled for. Yet, those experiences do mold how a man purchases women's clothing. I've been around for more than seven decades. Totally an old fart. I've been married for almost fifty years, and, I am still in a DADT marriage. When my wife was a petite five foot two, 34 B woman I loved buying her lingerie and unmentionables. I bought her day wear as well as night wear. Since I was six foot one and 175 pounds it was relatively obvious those articles of clothing were not for me. Female sales associates were always helpful and accommodating. They seem to appreciate a guy who had the balls to enter the lingerie department and buy his sweetie sexy lingerie. Many times i detected a little bit of envy. Once I got a rave review from a more mature middle age sales associate after I brought a red nightie to her counter and asked if there was a matching panty that would go with it. It was all too obvious that she appreciated the fact I knew a woman would want to don a panty after a toss in the hay. "Good thinking" she said as any woman would say who would don a panty under a nightgown.
Yet, if I ventured into sizes that would fit moi, there was a little shift in treatment of the "man in the lingerie" department. Back in the day I would easily wear a size 38. Some sales associates were more than a little standoffish. A snide comment here and there. Sometimes, as I have related about an adventure to a Catherine's, shear terror that a well dressed man would enter the domain of womanhood. Surely, a guy who would wear women's clothing has entered "our" world. No thought the guy may actually be married to a woman of the size Catherine's is geared towards.
Anyway, life's experiences and the potential risks govern how we act. It took me awhile, a little bit of trial and error, to master woman's sizes for my male body. Yes, some on-line and in-store purchases have been donated because I guessed wrong. I know what size bra, panty, slip and hosiery I wear. I know what style of dress works for a tall guy in a dress, with and without wig and makeup. I stay away from dresses with a defined waist since those are usually for the generic size woman; five foot six or seven. It's sheaths, wraps, empire waist and such for me. Thankfully, on-line retailers as well as most ebay resellers give the dress length from shoulder to hem.
Would I like to have the confidence to shop and try on dresses? Sure. It's out of my comfort zone. Maybe at Halloween I would be able to muster the courage. I use to buy shoes at Payless at Halloween with no hesitation. And, a wig or two. I'm in my comfort zone. Maybe it's time to hit "submit reply" and head over the the OP's other post.
The only time I got stopped heading into a guy dressing room was in Old Navy in San Francisco oddly enough. I had a couple of pairs of womens jeans, and the women metering entry to the changing room asked if I realized they were womens jeans. I acknowledged that I was aware and that was it
She did look askance but if she had said another word I was ready for her. I just owned it and the moment passed. I wear womens jeans in both gender presentations.
Why would there be a picture of you and a warning about you on her computer? I would have asked the manager about that one, along with telling her about the ladies' extremely rude behavior.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gaz