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Would your kids tell/let slip your folks, even if innocently done? A secret could be along the line of.. 'it's not a secret for you to keep, but your mom and I would prefer that you not talk about it'. When you reveal, also have your step daughter there to lend support as your wife will. If you have selfies, ask them if they would like to see some of them. I'll bet they'd say YES. Don't dress in front of them unless they ask you to. Then do it nicely. Good luck.
I think you will find your kids are more accepting than the adults are. Mine did not seem phased by it one bit.
First and foremost make sure it?s 100% ok with your wife. As far as the kids are concerned you have to look at it in several aspects. How have they been brought up open minded, is it going to cause them emotional distress like with their friends school mates etc. Because if you tell them it won?t take long they might slip and tell one or more of their friends. Ty en they might have homophobic children that might think bad of them or bullies that would think differently because they found out. I believe it?s something to take caution about for many of those reasons. You said there are four didn?t say if their all boys girls etc. it seems girls seem more open to accept then boys. I hope you have a good father son relationship with your boys too you have to explain to them you?ll be the same way with them as before still the same guy inside. You just have a softer side that your wife accepts as well and both do it together. Not trying to give advice just thoughts to do it right if that?s what you do end up going through with. Just my 2 cents worth . I?ll be like a puppy dog now and hush 🤫 I wish you the best no matter what you do.
I agree with Monica. And wish you good luck hun.:hugs:
Angie
It sounds like you have a loving family based simply on your wife's acceptance. I know how accepting we are of others so you and her must be raising your children in kind. Years ago, my daughters, when they were 12 and 15 found my stash of underwear and books about crossdressers. They eventually approached me and were worried that their older brother 18 was a crossdresser, showing me the evidence. I was not going to throw him under the bus and admitted to them that I was the person that they had actually uncovered. Amazingly, they both made big sighs of relief thankful that it was me. My son is 6'1" and they thought he could never look like a girl and he would be frustrated. At 5'5" they told me that with the right clothes and such I could pass and they were fine with it. The moral of this story is that your kids will always love you and trust in the way you raised them. Its obvious that you love them and that you are not a selfish person. Otherwise you would not be so concerned about telling them. All my kids, now 48, 45, and 42 know and they still love me and we have a loving relationship. My wife does not want to see me dressed but my girls have and my son prefers not to see. We found our comfortable place and life has been fine.
hello Amber,
there is a good chance that your children already know something about your crossdressing - after all they are clever and have known you all their life. They may already be in a DADT relationship with you without you realising.
I would suggest that the most important thing is that you must consider their views and do not embarrass them. They may be fine with you wearing less obviously women's clothing at home (tee-shirts, shorts, trousers, hoodies...), but would they appreciate it if you we wearing a dress when their friend's visit?
It is also important that you do not lie about your crossdressing. I look at my crossdressing as something I do in private rather than in secret. I have never discussed it with my (now adult) children, but I am sure they know about it. They also probably know that my wife and I have adult intimate time together ... but for some reason they pretend that does not happen!
What ever you decide I hope it goes well for all of you,
luv J
Lord knows I am not the best person to seek advise from, but I do have a comment. It will be up to you and your wife if you tell the children. However, if you do I think it may go better if you let the cat out of the bag easy so to speak.
Ask the children if you may talk to them. Tell them something along these lines. Say your Mom wears cloths I think are beautiful and I tried some on in my size and I like them. Ask, how would you feel if you came home one day and I had on something normally worn by women. Say nothing about being secret, even to your parents. Parents may know you do something, but they will still love you.
If your wife and kids are onboard with you wearing what you want.... who else matters ? I feel after you tell your children it will be in one ear and out the other and for the life of me I don't see any child running around and proclaiming to the world, "my Dad wears women's cloths".
Dear Amber; I was in the same situation for years. I have total support from my wife. We both decided not to tell our kids. Children are subject to cruel treatment from their peers. If this found its' way outside the home, who knows what can happen. I general, the world is still not ready for us. It is better to keep things on the safe side and keep this confidential till the youngest is well into the adult world. Our kids are well into their late thirties and they still don't know, however they do suspect. In spite of their suspicions, no one has asked or inquired. As for the children accepting adults dressing up, well it will be up to them to accept or not. I really don't think by divulging this will help them accept (at least not at this time in their life. Melissa Ann.Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber83
We had the same situation. Be sure your wife is totally on board...I mean totally. We think your children are too young and impressionable to understand or accept. As others have mentioned, there?s so much on children?s plate today, the odds of understanding and acceptance are nil. And..kids talk. Where do they learn most things? Yes, from other classmates. Your secret will be out. If you?re prepared for that...move ahead.