Thinking of purging

I think that feeling like the fog has rolled out is an accurate description of being in a situation where can't dress. That has been my experience during Covid, I am retired and my wife and I are together all the time. I did not purge and I'm glad that I didn't. The family shared lake home opened up again and we can go up there to take a break from being cooped up. This week it's her turn, guess what came back with a vengeance and rushed over me the minute she told me? Yes, I am going to dress tonight for the first time in ages. Next week is my turn at the lake, guess what I'm doing again next week?

To put it another way, imagine that you just purged and later in the day your wife says she is going out of town. How would you feel if that happened and the drawer and closet were empty? I would feel frustrated followed shortly by feeling broke from all the shopping. I don't think purging is the answer but if you do purge take care and we will see you on here in a few months.

NEVER PURGE! Put in storage or something! This always comes back and usually twice as hard as the last time! DON"T PURGE! Hugs Lana Mae

I'm surprised that no one said,"don't purge"!

Don?t purge. I?ve done it like three times and the cost was astronomical each time to replace everything when the urge comes again and I promise it will. I would pack everything in heavy plastic bags or totes that are dust and waterproof and store in the attic or upper space if you?re in a single story dwelling. It?ll save you tons of money in the long run and then when the urge comes back your all set. I promise without scaring you the urge will come back. It?s something we have no control over. Good luck to you reguardless of what you end up doing.

Don't purge!

Box it all up, tape it shut, mark the box as engine parts or something equally boring and hide it in plain sight in the garage. In a month or two you will be wanting it all back again.

Sophy, Don't purge, you'll regret it.

Purging is so hard, I really feel for anyone who is in the process and I hope you don't.

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Originally Posted by Pumped

Don't purge!

Box it all up, tape it shut, mark the box as engine parts or something equally boring and hide it in plain sight in the garage. In a month or two you will be wanting it all back again.

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I like the "ENGINE PARTS" but I can't use that. Instead I use "MODEL RAILROAD" or "ART SUPPLIES". My Number two daughter was one of the mechanics in the house. But I am lucky now because she is now one of my support GGs in the know. She also is my beautician. She is a State certified beautician instructor.
She lives across county (24 miles) from me. Her SO is also In The Know but is not much of a support person.

I would buy all new outfits if i was going to purge my old ones no jk please don't purge learn by everyone mistake!!!

This sounds like me when I can?t ride motorcycle for the winter and start thinking about selling by February. Then come April and the snow is gone I say one more ride before I sell . Next thing I know it?s Thanksgiving and time to think about putting it away for winter again.
I wouldn?t purge. I have dressed only a few times this year , but the clothes are there as a reminder. I?ve never purged and I don?t know what it would take for me to get there. Give it time, and you?ll probably thank us for telling you not to. Just my 2 cents

I will add another "don't do it" to the pile. I have purged a few times now and regret it. The urge to dress may have faded but it comes back, at least in my experience.

Char GG's suggestion is a good one (IMHO the best). Cull out the stuff that is not of value to you and keep the rest - STORED AWAY somewhere that is not easily noticeable or obtainable. There is a psychological reason for not purging that may apply to you. It is related to the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

After you purge you will view it as a loss and that will create a kind of emptiness in that cubby hole. It becomes a stressor. You want what you threw away back. That can work its way from your memory back into your consciousness and the neural circuits that generate a sense of loss. The more that happens, the stronger it gets and the stronger it gets the more likely that which was a problem that created the purge (crossdressing) will become desirable again.

Storing it away where it requires a good deal of work to get to it will help avoid this series of thinking patterns that create the sense of loss and the subsequent desires. You know you still possess it and that is assuring to the needy thinking circuits. Will it avoid it ever coming back again? Probably not. But the return is due to other processes and not the presence of the clothes. Knowing your stuff is still there your brain will not feel so much loss and can deal with the deprivation by allowing you to find other interests to fill the hole created by the complete purge.

Will this action last and result in you never having a need to retrieve the stored things? Maybe, but far more likely not. That is because these shifts to an alternative gender sense is a part of your identity and is not produced by women's clothes. Wearing women's clothes is the expression of that characteristic of your identity. That said, gender identity can change if it is not due to a genetic configuration that produces a predisposition to crossdress BECAUSE you have female-like feelings that need to be satisfied in that way. In a few of us it can go away; in the vast majority it is just the way you are configured and attempts to shift it to a different direction ultimately fail.

When trying to limit this behavior with things like purging, one must keep the details of the nature of the "beast" in mind and work within that framework to be successful. And that is part of the reason why purging almost always fails - when it is a part of your fundamental configuration getting rid of it is like cutting off your arm because it gets in the way when you are lying down. You can adapt to not having that arm, but you will always miss it to some extent. So, if you cut off your arm store it away in liquid nitrogen so if you decide you need it again you can retrieve it and maybe reattach it. Your women's clothes are to your identity as your arm is to your ability to do the things you need to do.

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Originally Posted by JocelynJames

This sounds like me when I can?t ride motorcycle for the winter

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:eek:

Not ride in Winter!? Madness I tell you! :bonk: Just kidding, over here in South Africa riding in winter is often the best time. Our winters are cold(dish) in the morning and early evening but it's ALWAYS dry (no rain or snow). So if you're properly insulated it's actually great for riding without the worry of running into foul weather later on. :)

Regarding purging, if you're keeping your skirts you may as well keep the rest because unless you purge completely, you really haven't purged at all... :thinking:

Whether you purge or not, wives have ways of finding stuff. I thought I had great hiding place. I was wrong but worked out for the best. There are many stories here about supposedly great hiding spaces that get discovered. And if you get discovered, explaining panties and pantyhose is a lot easier than explaining forms.

I've never heard a good purging story. That's kind of like saying raise your hand if you're not here. I get it. the point is, purging doesn't make this go away. You may not believe it now but maybe down the road you will. perhaps counseling can help. What it will do is help you see the future before you get there. We can never get back time. You can learn the lessons yourself and figure it out on your own. Getting help can give you a clearer understanding of what's going on SOONER.What I thought about my future at 30 is very different then my future at 50. Had I known things I know now I would have done things very differently at 30. I can't get those years back. Don't knock the idea of counseling it may stop some repetitive detrimental behavior that may prevent you from getting where you need to be. it could lead you on a clear path to the Future that's right for you. Packing your troubles away or denying them (throwing away), probably means you will have to deal with them another day. Think of the time that will be lost.

Again thanks everyone for your advice. I will store my stuff. Better to have and don?t need than need and don?t have. I will go through it though and get rid of som of my earlier pieces that don?t fit well or I am no longer feeling. Thank you all. I knew asking would help.

Never purge. you will most likely keep going back to dressing.:hugs:
Angie

I think you get it don't do it :)

Another to the "don't do it" pile...the crossdressing gene will always come back. Put your stuff in storage if need be if you are worried about it being found

Nothing wrong with cleaning out the closet and getting rid of clothing you don't wear, but don't toss it all, you will regret it later.

Cleaning out the closet or thinning the herd is ok but it is not at all purging. Never purge.

You could prune the collection and put a few in a really good hiding place just in case the fog rolls back in for them.

My dressing use to consist of wearing fake boobs (usually water balloons) because the only way it seemed right was shape my body like a woman. Over time I came to the realization I didn't want to be a woman, just enjoy the parts that I liked (since then I have accepted myself as non-binary). So I gave up the bras and boobs. But since I didn't want to regret such a decision I hid them away for several months just to make sure then eventually purged them all. I have no problem wearing a dress flat chested as it feels more authentic for me. Pick the dresses that work for me, not changing my body to fill the dress :)

Sophy,

I haven't read all the comments in this thread, I don't kmow how old are and know nothing about you but I can say a couple of things, what most of crossdressers feel is a life thing, not a Hobbie and with the years turns stronger.
You already answer yourself, you will change mind and regret is a worse feeling than the fear of keep your stuff store. Just find a safe place and forget abiut them, later, for sure you will need them.

Devi

I'll add my "Don't Purge" as many others have stated. I really think you will regret it down the road. If you think you really do want to, just wait a while. Give it some time before you do. You just might be glad you waited.

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Originally Posted by Asew

You could prune the collection and put a few in a really good hiding place just in case the fog rolls back in for them.

My dressing use to consist of wearing fake boobs (usually water balloons) because the only way it seemed right was shape my body like a woman. Over time I came to the realization I didn't want to be a woman, just enjoy the parts that I liked (since then I have accepted myself as non-binary). So I gave up the bras and boobs. But since I didn't want to regret such a decision I hid them away for several months just to make sure then eventually purged them all. I have no problem wearing a dress flat chested as it feels more authentic for me. Pick the dresses that work for me, not changing my body to fill the dress :)

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Right now this is where my head is at. Thank you so much.