The Tootsie Effect

I'm writing this before reading the other responses, so sorry if I repeat things...

the question is: "Do you feel as if "being" a woman makes you a better man?"
My answer is: Um - not exactly. I do think that it makes me a better PERSON, but not necessarily a better man.

If that makes sense?

I think anything that helps us view the world through new perspectives, opens our eyes to other peoples experiences, and builds our cultural knowledge and potentially acceptance necessarily gives us the opportunity to improve ourselves. From there, it is up to us to take that opportunity and learn all we can to improve ourselves and how we interact with others. I know crossdressing is something that has given me perspective that in lots of situation over the years has given me pause to better "see the world from someone else's perspective" even though it may have only been in my own mind that it was apparent.

I'm in a rather restrictive DADT situation right now but I truly believe it would. When I think of the unresolved angst of my current situation being removed through spousal acceptance I can't help but think it would make me a happier and less stressed out man.
-Jen

I agree with SaraLin: I feel like I'm a better person, and I'd add to that and say I'm a better person now than when I was denying it to myself and shaming myself for it. In other words, cding alone didn't make me a better person, but when I accepted myself as a cd and stopped beating myself up over it, *that's* when I became a better person

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cindylouho

Brilliant answer Gretchen, and I may be proof of that theory. In retrospect, I would say I have a pretty even disbursement of female and male neural networks. Since I started CDing regularly my temper, which was a lifelong issue, has been seriously softened, I mean how do blow your top over some inane thing while wearing a pink nightie? I have several dogs and love them all but never used to talk to them very much before, I do all day now. There are more examples but I don't want to hijack this thread. Suffice it to say that when it comes to the subject of CDing, I believe environment can be a big influence.

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Hi cindylouho, it's interesting you mentioned that environment could be a big influence. I agree. Do you feel more comfortable showing "feminine" traits while CDing? Sort of like a "social license" while dressed up?

It makes me a better person, and a better father. My children know and I'd say they would (I hope) probably agree.

Gwen, I know that it has made a me caring person, which I believe makes me a better man.

Yes -- and no. :straightface:

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Originally Posted by SaraLin

I do think that it makes me a better PERSON, but not necessarily a better man.

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This was my answer while I was still on page 1.


And even then? Only on certain levels.

Because what we may gain, could very well be offset by some negatives, as it pertains to all this.

For example: We may sometimes be more self-focused, more vain, more secretive, more dishonest, etc.


I don't share this part of me with just anyone & everyone. And I can spend too much time/money/energy, when that could otherwise be directed elsewhere.


Overall? I do feel as though it's just one big wash.

Then again, pros & cons to pretty much anything...

I think it has helped me, especially after coming out to my wife. Less shame to start with... more acceptance of who I am... which has led em to be a gentler, kinder person... more understanding of people who may have their own issues and struggles. I'm no saint, never will be, but I have definitely softened the last few years.

Many good points have been made below. I feel that anything that broadens horizons, deepens understanding, promotes compassion and empathy for others, and chips away at tired old dogma is bound to make us better humans of whatever gender we are expressing at the moment. Besides, it's just a whole lot of fun.

Corollary: Pretending to be a woman makes me pretend to be a better man!

No. I’m a woman who was born with male body parts, so nothing can make me a better man. However ...

When I finally realized that my male persona was just an act, it became much easier to play the role. I’ve never actually known how males are supposed to react to certain things. I’d pretend to be angry about something that most males wouldn’t get angry about, or conversely not pretend to be angry about something that most men would get angry about. But now that I know it’s just an act, I can play the role much better. Of course, when the emotions are real, I’m totally, and unapologetically female.

I don't think it's as much about "being" a woman, as the lifelong struggle to understand myself as a gender anomalous person. Self reflection is usually a good thing, even when it is uncomfortable.

Absolutely yes, but nobody cares

I agree with SaraLin, Josie and others that it made me a better person (early 70s). And when I accepted my gender identity, it made me an even better person.

Very interesting question and responses. There?s no way I can ever be a woman. My need and enjoyment is to look like a woman and pass as one. Things that seem to be nuisance to women, including my wife, (underwires, hose, heels, etc.), are a pleasure to me. I do agree, anytime you can experience and gain insight into something out your realm, will make you a better person.

I definitely think it gives me a much broader view of life and makes me more understanding in general and there is a softer side to me tha tI am convinced is my acceptance of my female side, so, I guess yes is the answer, I think it does make me a better man

Judging by how I see most women dress in American Airports,
Being a man makes me a better woman :)