There is a school of thought on this which holds that if you're going to disclose a parents' crossdressing to a child, it's preferable to do so before rather than during adolescence.
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There is a school of thought on this which holds that if you're going to disclose a parents' crossdressing to a child, it's preferable to do so before rather than during adolescence.
Julie,
Im just wondering where that school of thought came from, as i too have wondered when is the right time.....im also thinking that maybe before they have too many questions, when theyre more accepting of things just that way because they are...im also thinking maybe before their own hormones kick in would be a good idea....
cheery
xx
I haven't got links saved but have come across the argument several times that it's better, if you're going to disclose, to disclose before the hormonal/emotional/identity hurricanes of adolescence strike. One reason in tune with this line of thinking, that may not be as obvious as others I've seen offered in its defense, is that most adolescents are somewhat embarassed by their parents, who just aren't "cool" in their eyes, so adding a quirky gender issue to the mix could make that more acute. That's a consideration that I suppose is more geared toward "is this a good thing for the parent", than "is this a good thing for the child."
In my own case, I no longer have the choice to disclose my crossdressing to my child before adolescence, as I have an adult daughter and a teenaged stepson.
Through this forum, I've managed to get over feeling guilty or wrong about CDing, but no way would I ever share it with anyone..except another CDer if that were possible. Too much pain and misery on my family's part, and since my need to dress is very infrequent, and I keep the clothes in a storage locker away from home and don't dress at home, it's well enough left alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crisack
Just wanted to say...I love the way you are going about this. :)
For a change, I have no sage sugestions lol
Sincere best wishes xx
My wife and I made a decision to raise our kids with full knowledge of my crossdressing. We did that and it worked out fine. Our daughter is 30 and our son is 26. Neither of them had a problem with it while growing up or since. I did, however greatly restrict my dressing around the house when they were teenagers and had friends often dropping by to see them unexpectedly.
I became a single parent thru divorce when my son had just turned five years old..I repressed my dressing most of the time while married.. But like alot of others that desire becomes stronger for some reason when i'm single..Anyway I forgot it was an early school day for my son who was thirteen by then..The door was locked but he has a key..( it was a two bedroom one floor apt.)he was in the door before i had a chance to do anything !!! I was in full dress hair makeup everything !!!! He was shocked too say the least!!! But we talked a bit about it... Later that day while i was driving him too an after school activity he said don't worry dad i still loveya !!! weather you wear womens cloths or mens..He's sixteen now and lives with his mother in another state... ( for other reasons not my dressing more family friends etc.) He does visit often..Although its something I don't and don't ever plan on doing in his presence...But he was just here over spring break.. I thought i cleaned all my pictures off the computer..Then a cpl. days before he left he had used my digital camera and took pics for his myspace page.. and i didn't realize i still had picture folders still on there!!! I didn't realize untill like the next day that he had too see them there....He didn't say anything.. neither did i but i thought maybe i should..But the rest of the weekend went normal talking going out etc.Pretty normal ... But it has left me wondering a bit about the pics i'm sure he saw ..unless he didn't open any of the folders
Like a lot of us, I'm divorced. Not for being a CD because I hadn't even recognized my desire to dress en femme until after I was divorced, raised the kids, put them through college, etc. Once I was exposed to crossdressing I was hooked. It explained a lot of the feelings and attractions I had while growing up and I realized that it was something I was meant to do.
Being single, I didn't have any trouble finding the time to let Glenda out. Then one of my sons got into financial trouble and asked to move in with me while he got his situation straightened out. I raised my sons to be honest and to believe that family would love and accept them no matter what they did. I had a choice. Put the clothes and wigs in the closet or trust what I had always told them.
There was no choice. Me being me......I had to be honest with them. To do otherwise would not do at all. I came clean. It hasn't been a problem. I'm still Dad. I'm still loved.
Reading the replies to your post I can see that many, if not most of us still feel shame and guilt. That's just the way it is. We want acceptance. We want freedom. We don't want others to judge or ridicule us. I understand that not everyone can come out. Those of us who can should. Only you know the relationship that you have with your kids.