Purging

Wow! It is amazing how the purge has touched each of us in some part of our lives. It saddens me to hear those that have had conflicts with spouses over their things and then ended up purging. We enjoy the fog so well. Then somewhere down the road comes the other terrible feelings that conflict us. Then all of a sudden everything goes. I love the advice given in this thread. Just DONT do it. The feelings will always return and then you will have lost some great things that you loved. I recently went through my stuff and donated some shoes that did not fit well or a few other things I just did not care for. Nothing wrong with that at all.

OMG,,,What a waste of nice clothes and heels over the decades. Luckily I`ve only purged twice. Last one in 1985,,,swore i`ll never ever do again and haven`t. Be strong sisters!

I've purged a few times in my life and vow never again. It's a huge loss to get rid of clothes but honestly my biggest purge regret are photos.. I've taken so many over the years and i totally wish I could see and share those somehow. I'm not the same person today physically and mentally, but those times when I took the pictures where special.

I've just purged.
moved from a 3 bedroom home with big wardrobes, down into my converted garage (1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 kitchen, 1 living room and a tiny wardrobe).
Now wife has more dresses than me :(

Guilty. Due to several moves, downsizing and trying to transport my stash, I have purged multiple times and have gotten rid of some wonderful things. Who knew that tou would never be able to find a nice white garter belt and gartered stocking in Macys again? Or a lovely size 42A soft cup Glamorise bra from Catherine?s?

Indeed, the regrettable purge. Thankfully I stopped purging long ago when the purges involved small wardrobes that could be easily stuffed into half a garbage bag. To do so today would involve, well, let's say "a few more" than one bag and likely instigate a serious angst-riddled long-term sadness both emotionally and financially.

For many years now when I pare down my wardrobe via sizing or loss of interest I donate to a second hand store a few blocks away. Brings a smile to my face imagining another cd discovering some nice items in a size larger than petite.

I did a substantial purge just yesterday. Closet space was getting tight and I had a bunch of male clothes that I no longer wear, so out they went.:)

Ziggie, Now that is the sort of purge that is ok :)

Well I now have two 33 Gal bags ready to go out. One bag has six sets of worn/tight shoes. The rest of the outfits were given to me by my GG friend with the comment "because of your size and age, this is what you should wear." (some size 24 and up). Either ,I don't like them, or they don't fit. No busted seams or zippers.
Still have 8 more tubs to sort out and then I will tackle the over-stuffed closet. There are a few formals that will have to go. I rarely wear them and do not see the need for them in the foreseeable future except for one cruise next Oct. Hope to be down to 180 from 208 by then.

I remember back in my younger days on the roller coaster ride of self loathing.
I would cut everything in half so I couldn't change my mine.
Then I would have to go through all the time and risk of getting caught buying more girly things in my size.

Thanks to everyone who has posted, I think we have made a good point to our newer members that purging out of guilt, shame and self loathing is something they will regret

It serves a purpose.

I've done it a few times, with an attempt to save my marriage ,didn't work, for the obvious reasons.

Sounded like the right thing to do at the time.

Now I'm getting ready to purge for another reason. I'm out of room in my closet. I guess we could call it spring cleaning. To make room for a few new things for spring.

Whatever the reason I typically end up regretting it.

Love Jean

I only had one total purge and that was approx 15 yrs ago after I told my second wife and was divorced within.a year. Kept Kerri locked away for 98% of the time since. Now that she has re-emerged I am regretting some of my lost pieces. Especially a wig that I loved and the perfect pair of heels for me. The fit, style, the height and they way they made me feel. So sexy. I wish I had 1/2 of my wardrobe from back then.
But on a different note, then it was really just about the clothes and how they made me feel Now I want to be able to go out in public and not look like a guy in a wig and dress. Not I?m looking more into Light makeup. But, hip and breast forms as well as tucking. But for now spending money on things I basically threw away purging

Losing this lovely dress is what convinced me to never purge again.

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Wendy-Lyn, oh, hon, I'm so sorry you no longer have that dress. It's lovely! And it has my most favorite colors in the print.

I did not lose that much when I did my big purge 30 years ago. Most of the items were not that special, did not cost that much, and similar items would be easy to obtain.

Fast forward to today and it is a completely different story. I have a number of really nice things, and I would never find anything just like them again. The interesting thing for me is that I feel some level of emotional attachment to items I have worn in public and have fond memories of. The crochet blouse in my profile is one I would have a hard time tossing as I have had some great outings wearing it. Even if I never wore it again, I would want to keep it because of that. I would feel like I am throwing part of me away.

Sandi

My SO and I have a great relationship, but for the cross dressing. She?s not a fan. That said, I don?t hide it but I don?t rub her face in it either. Never purged, never will. My dresses hang next to my suits.

Oh wow, this thread brings back painful memories. Six years since my last 'purge' it never worked previous times it didn't work six years ago.

Finally I understand that Daniella is as much a part of me as my male side. She is never going away she is who I am and she will never throw away another item from her wardrobe!

If you are thinking of purging don't, please, please don't x

I will chime in here, In the past, and you really have to turn on the way back machine
I did purge several time, guilt and shame driven purges.

Once when my then girlfriend, later became wife found my stash.

Fast forward many years, I disclosed my dressing to my wife. we got thru that and I was able to accept just who I was
and how I preferred to dress. Since I have split up from my wife.
And now I have totally accepted Raychel is part of my life
When I travel, which is very often, Raychel has a suitcase as well.

I would not guess how much purging has cost me over the years, Money wise and mental health wise.
Now she is here to stay, and I totally accept that.

SO I will voice what many others have said, If you feel the need to purge, Don't do it.
Accept who you are.
If you are in that position of guilt or shame, Come forward with the truth,
In the long run, it will be for the best
Those that love you won't care, and those that judge you, well I will let you make your own decision there :thinking:

I agree 100% with Crissy. Purging is not going to magically make you not want to crossdress. I purged a couple times when I was younger and regret both times to this day. I just wish there was a fantastic forum like this back then. It was a lot harder crossdressing in the pre-internet days. Back then there was no one to talk to.

I agree, Janette. I thought I was such an outcast because I wanted to wear panties and pretty lingerie. Now I know better, but I lost almost 40 years of opportunity.

I knew something was not right at the age of 9. but it was 56 years later before I really started to bud out and 5 more years before I really started to bloom, if you want to call a61 year old rose as blooming or just a wrinkly old dried flower. (grin)

I don't know how to tell this.
My first experience was at the age of nine. Then I went for 56 years just taking an occasional chance at dressing, using what ever excuse to do it. In my older years (for 39 years) I was in skits with fellow Square Dancers were they needed a mail dressed in female attire. I would always work my way into that position. Then in 2008, I came out like a raging idiot. I think of myself as a dried up rose because of my age. I also think of myself, because of my weight, as a hippo. Here is a recent photo of the drying Rose.

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Purging; the last time purged. I did partly because my wardrobe was mostly borrowed or rescued and not new. I ditched it all. Three months later I was buying my own stuff. In reflection the big reason I purged was to develop my own style. Of course I didn't realize that until afterwards. The reason I purged is then was that I promised my wife that I would never wear her stuff again. Now the wardrobe is mine and I picked out everything and I have kept that promise.

Yes, i have done it a couple of times. Donated some dresses and skirts, which I really loved. Huge mistake! Now I vowed to donate or throw out only clothes that I really not using of old/thorn or otherwise unusable girly clothes. If anything, both self loathing and purging is wrong. I learned more or less to accept my girly side.

All purging has ever done for me, is make me miss that cute polka dot poodle skirt, or that really nice wig I splurge for, or those C cup breast forms that fit just right, or...

I have since learned the difference between purge and cull...

I agree with OP, Just don't Do It!!!