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In the past, the more I tried to be a regular male, the louder the "woman inside" screamed to be let out!
Then came the day when I gave up and decided to let "her" out and have free reign.
To my surprise, "she" didn't take over and drive my life into the ditch. Instead, "she" sort of merged with "him" and they became the "me" that I am now.
Day-to-day, people probably don't notice that much difference but I can tell that I'm less timid, a bit more sociable, and don't waste my efforts trying to fit in with the alpha-type males. In a social setting, I'm more likely to find myself chatting with the ladies about the kids, or the recipe for their brownies than with the the man talking about sports or cars.
At home, I'm more comfortable in something feminine and only my wife's discomfort level stops me from doing more than I do.
So - did the "woman inside" fail to show up? Did I kill her off? Or am I now a conjoined (spiritual) twin? Dunno. Either way, I'm better than I was before.
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Hiya Doc.
I?m also a longtime CD.
My addition to this discussion is that there seem to be a very few times when I dress, that after looking in the mirror, there is a change in how I feel about myself. It is very nice, and all I can say is that I THINK it?s a feminine feeling. Most of the time I cd it?s about the technical aspects of the look. Is my bra too high on my chest? Are the earrings right for this outfit?
I?m not unhappy in my skin as a male most of the time, but I sure like those fleeting moments where that wash of femininity comes over.
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Such a great topic, thank you Doc. Do I have a woman inside, yes I think. Is she trying to get out? No, but she sits with me and we chat all the time and sometimes her voice is most prominent. Most times she'll just whisper, "ooo thats's pretty, wear that for a little bit." She also manifests in the form of compassion, gentleness, and slowing me down to notice things like flowers, beautiful fabrics, and just notice the world around me and to be grateful for it. In turn, I nurture her through better self-care, underdressing when I can and now sharing with you wonderful people.
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actually I WISH 'the woman inside me' would express herself more by my being more compassionate, gentle and patient. Unfortunately too often I find my stereotypical male behavior takes center stage and I find myself being less understanding and patient. Working on it.
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i do it to create looks and characters, not to express my "inner woman". its entirely possible to like dressing in costumes without it going any deeper than that.
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Thank u, Spicy. You're preaching to the preacher!:heehee:
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Actually I think there is a guy inside me trying to get out. And if so I would hope he would leave and take his testosterone and a few body parts with him.
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I always had the opposite problem. Faking the guy stuff. False bravado. Feigned interest in sports. Whatever to blend.
Over it, thankfully.
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Me too Rachel, I just can't fake the guy stuff anymore. The "woman inside" finds the entire male experience so boring. Being single, I get to spend my time with lovely caring women. Such a gift...
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I tend to agree with both SaraLin and GraceM. Yes I believe I have a woman inside, her name is Diane, which I'm using here. She introduced herself to me when I was on the way to Walmart the beginning of Sep to buy some thongs. I had two thoughts pop into my head that I had never had before. The first was "I wonder what I would look like dressed as a woman" which was immediately follwed by "transforming Dean into Diane".
Since that day Diane and I have been talking a lot, either just in my head or out loud. When she talks to me out loud, her voice sounds like mine but with a southern accent. In fact since she introduced herself I feel more whole and complete as a person than I ever have before. I'm really comfortable with wearing women's clothes. In fact if nothing else I wear a pair of bikini panties or a thong under my normal male clothing, to me Diane is truly my 'female half".
There are several times where I thank Diane for introducing herself and giving me the idea to start dressing as a woman. She responds by saying thank you. Of course I tell her I'll probably continue to thank her for years to come because of how natural and normal I feel in women's clothing. I enjoy sleeping at night in nightgowns, wearing dresses or shorts and tops, sometimes with wigs that I have bought over the last couple months. I've also started taking pictures of myself in a dress with each of the three different wigs I have, Brunette, Red Head and Blonde. As strange as it may sound I've found myself starting to get turned on by looking at the pictures I've taken of myself.
So the long and short of it is yes I do believe I have a woman inside, she didn't really want to 'break out' she just wanted to be acknowledged and help me realize how wonderful life is wearing women's clothing, even if it is just at home for the forseeable future. I have a beard and 'we' will discuss whether or not to shave it off.
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hello,
it is an interesting post that many of us have have tried to answer after the "Where did my crossdressing come from?"
- "do crossdressers have split personalities?"
If we had a "woman within" wouldn't we want to transition?
Or are we simply a bit transgender and enjoy the clothing?
stay healthy!
luv ?
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Interesting thread. Not to many women inside. I don't think I have one either I do enjoy dressing and don't seem to get enough of it. But I am me no matter what I am wearing. Its funny after a day or two out some times I'll pass by a mirror without noticing and I'll catch a glimpse of Sallee and she will surprise me that I am her today. I certainly enjoy crossdressing and I almost think it is more fun when I get the time to be Sallee for a day.
