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We have three kids, two in high school and one in middle school.
1. Do your kids know? When they were younger, my wife and I agreed we would not tell them about my dressing, and I only dressed when they would not see me. Presently, they have seen me wear women’s jeans and my shaven legs and chest. I also think they have found my heels which are normally hidden behind my dress pants in our master bedroom closet.
2. What age did they find out? If they have concluded I dress, then it was in their early teens.
3. How did it impact their relationship with you? There was no change.
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I have kept my dressing a secret from my children. Both have left home and I don?t see any benefit in telling them.
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I have 3 children and the oldest is 12. I dress at home all the time and none of them care. My oldest and I have talked about it and she has people she follows that are transgender. The other two don't seem to notice and I am still Dad no matter what I am wearing. Occasionally my youngest (9) will say I look like a girl. I take that as high praise. They are home schooled and if they bring it up in public or with family/friends that don't know, I won't hide it. I don't want them to have to keep a secret for me. Except for work and medical visits, Jennifer is out there.
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I've told this story before; when I came out to my son He was 22. He told me he had known since he was 14. He knew my wife and I had been"hippie types" and had been convinced we smoked pot. He went through the house top to bottom trying to find it. He didn't find it. We didn't have any. But guess what he did find.
He's 35 now and while we both have our personal issues, between the two of us, we are solid.
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1. Do your kids know?
Three sons - 41, 39, 37. Their mother and I divorced when they were about 6, 4, and 2. For the next 16 years, I had few relationships. I decided, as they approached adulthood, that I wanted them to know. I would have hated a scenario where I had a medical emergency or even died while dressed, and they only found out while dealing with a real crisis.
2. What age did they find out?
My middle son actually came across a trunk of clothes when he was about 12. He found it when he was poking around in my closet, as kids will do (and as I did with my parents' stuff). The info weighed on him so heavily that he had to talk to me about it. I explained that it was something I did infrequently and that it stemmed from times when I didn't feel like much of a man. My response seemed to satisfy him well enough.
With the other two, as each approached age 20, I had a one-on-one where I gave them the basics. Neither one had a lot of questions, and they seemed to take in the info without a lot of trouble.
3. How did it impact their relationship with you?
Well, first, let me say that I never dress in front of them. I don't want to add any imagery that conflicts with the dad I have always been to them.
With the oldest and youngest, things seem to be about the same as if I had never told them. We never discuss it, and it's a part of my life they don't interact with. In fact, my oldest has been living with me again for the past 3 years, and I never dress except when he is at work or has gone to bed.
With my middle son, it actually has had a good effect. He comes to me with almost any issue he has, and he knows that I will be nonjudgmental and supportive. So even though he has never met Colleen, she opened a door between us that might not have existed otherwise.
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IF they know, it's not for lack of going to extreme lengths to keep it from them. There was only time I am aware there MIGHT have been a possibility of exposure. If left a webpage open, while searching for Fall Boots and our daughter saw it. I tried to play it off and asked her if she thought 'mommy' would like any of those boots for her b-day. I am 90% sure she bought it, but you never know. None of the limited wardrobe I own has ever been disturbed, as if someone found it and was going through it.
