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I guess for the same reason I don't dress elaborately in guy mode when I go out as well. I don't dress in flashy guy clothes so that sort of runs over to my female persona. Although I do find that I dress more "trendy" in female mode to go out than I do in male mode.
NOW we're getting down to the nitty gritty, ladies!:thumbsup:
Thank u all who responded recently. U helped clear up a lot of missunderstandings about my post. Special thanks those of u that can express themselves so much better than I!:o
I don't consider anyone who goes out dressed conservatively and fashionably to be "dressed to blend". In fact that is how I've tried to dress whenever I've had to go out dressed in Vanillaland during the day. What I consider "dressing to blend" to mean is; long, shapeless, unattractive, granny style clothing.:doh:
Let me emphasize, if you always go out looking and feeling attractive? My post is NOT about u!:battingeyelashes:
It's about those that go out intentionally knowing they look bad. I've personally have met a few T's like that!:sad:
And, I neglected to mention initially that with my ancient, male kisser, I can't pass even dressed like your granny! Thank u for those that pointed out that some CD's like to feel they pass, at least on occasion!:)
I was patiently drafting an elaborate, well-reasoned answer when it occurred to me that the simplest response is that I wear what I like and dress for myself, not others.
The tone and nature of your qustion, Sherry, suggest you're the opposite, in other words, that you apparently can't be bothered to crossdress unless you have an audience. Granted, most of your photo productions are actual productions, whereas I like to practice my crossdressing in public and tailor my outfits toward that goal. Being over 6' tall, I stand out enough already, no pun intended.
BTW, my pretty clothes don't have to be the prettiest in the world. They just have to be prettier than my guy clothes and that, they are. :D
"BTW, my pretty clothes don't have to be the prettiest in the world. They just have to be prettier than my guy clothes and that, they are. :D "
:clap: :iagree: :clap:
I dress to look good! So, dressing to blend is like a root canal!
Yeah, I dress to look good too, and I'm trans. 24/7.
However, 'dressing good' doesn't mean dressing like a Diva or a drag Queen!
I can look good in a skirt suit, slacks & a blazer, or jeans & a top. I (and no other woman!) needs to dress like a caricature of femininity to exist in the real world.
The problem that a lot of CD-er's have, is a fixation of how women should dress and act, according to the preferences and POV of the CD-er.
I'm NOT trying to be demeaning, it's just that y'all just don't seem to get it. BEING femme, and PLAYING at being femme are two entirely different things!
The OP wonders why anyone would dress to blend in.... WTH, If you were to attend a board meeting of your company, would you show up in an Hawaiian shirt & board shorts, or a 3 piece suit?
Defend your answer.
Women actually dress for other women, as a sign of status, and their place in the pecking order. A woman who shows up ar a black-tie affair in her PJ bottoms and T-shirt, will surely be talked about as much as the woman who shows up at Walmart in an evening gown and heels to do her grocery shopping!
There are times and situations for all kinds of looks. I frequently enjoy being out in Vanilla Land and just blending in. Other times I want to look flashy or provocative, and know that a lot of eyes will be on me. That's fun, too. My bottom line is that I want to put effort into looking good, whether it's intentionally blending or sticking out like a red flag. It's all good. You do you.
Patience, you've turned what I said upside down!:sad:
Like u, I dress for me, period. And, I don't like crowds dressed or not! That's why I get too stressed to dress out at vailla venues! I've found the Muggles out at bars and clubs to be MUCH MORE accepting and friendly!:thumbsup:
Wow, Jazzman! I don't know where to start with u because you're all over the map!:eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzmin
Where have a EVER said I or other CD's should, or want to dress, like DIVA's or drag queens? Neither I nor my T friends do that!:thumbsdn:
For the most part we try to dress like stylish, attractive women. Altho, we usually out glam most of the GG's in the clubs!:daydreaming:
Then, u complain about people having a fixation about how women should dress. Rite after which u expressed your own fixation about CD's!:doh:
Please explain how we can tell who is "playing" fem and who is "being" fem? Or, must we ask u in each case for the correct answer?:straightface:
I must be really dumb. Because your comment about comparing someone who dresses in their boardroom and dressing to blend went over my head.:eek:
But, since I'm involved with surf apparel industry on the West Coast, I can confirm that anyone showing up in a boardroom here in a 3 piece suit would be laffed out of that meeting!:tongueout
U conclude by saying women dress for women. A comment u stated as if it's fact. But which has been disputed on post after post rite here on CD.com!:straightface:
Maybe that means u dress for other trans? There maybe other T's who dress for each other, too. But, as for me and my T friends, we try to present as attractive women to please ourselves first and foremost!:battingeyelashes:
Jazzmin I disagree with this "it's just that y'all just don't seem to get it. BEING femme, and PLAYING at being femme are two entirely different things!". Some of us would love to be femme all the time but have wifes and family to consider, I have to consider my wifes feelings about me dressing, yes I can dress when ever I want, but a couple of rules that I have agreed with my wife stops me being full time. She doesnt want the neighbours to see me dressed and she doesnt want our daughter to see me dressed, so I dress 90% of the time, so I respect these requests. But when I do dress especially when I go out I dont play at being femme I actually feel femme and wish with all my heart I could go full time, and maybe one day I will if my circumstances ever change, I do take it seriously and dont feel in anyway Im playing at it.
Sherry,
"Dressing to blend" doesn't mean wearing things that aren't stylish or fashionable. In fact being scruffily dressed is as likely to single you out as killer heels and a micro skirt in a supermarket.
It's wearing what a lot of GG's would feel comfortable wearing.
You've alluded to feeling uncomfortable with your appearance when out in the general population and confine yourself to clubs and bars, which is fine, that's your choice.
As I type this it's getting towards mid morning. The SO is sat in bed knitting, listening to the radio, I've been downstairs tidying the kitchen and making her breakfast in bed. As we sleep separately I can get dressed into my femme attire as soon as I get up. So, hose, knickers, simple patterned skirt, bra, forms, cammi, scoop neck tee and waterfall cardi.
This is the sort of attire so many women will be also wearing and I could not feel more comfortable while dressed this way. It may not be glamorous but if I were to put on a wig, makeup etc. then I wouldn't look out of place shopping for groceries.
It connects me to the other half of the population. It's not just about the clothes, it's also about feeling femme, being part of that girl's club.
I derive a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction from bing able to move around in the big wide world. To do things GG's do and to do it without drawing attention to myself. Doesn't mean to say that what I'm wearing isn't well tailored, smart and well matched. It works for the time and place allowing me to spent all day enfemme so I'll take that.
I never wear "plain homely clothes" be it at home or in public.
As for how I dress myself it's usually to fit the venue and activity. I'm not one to be a WalMartian. I'm not going shopping to Target or Walmart in a short skirt, tight blouse, black seamed hose and 3" strappy sandals. That's not ever how I have wanted to be.
All throughout my decades of dressing I have always just wanted to be seen as another woman doing whatever I'm doing.
I dress appropriately when I go out. I'll often shave and wear a little lipstick as part of my dressing.
These days it doesn't take much time to get ready unless I'm trying something new.
I usually get noticed, which is the result of four things.
I have an hourglass figure and a BMI of 20, which means I'm on the borderline of being too thin.
I look young for my age, which puts me on the other side of being old enough to be invisible.
I tend to smile a lot. I see no reason to change that.
Well, four things. The most attractive looking people attract attention and fewer and fewer people look better than I do these days.
Marion
Debs, believe me, I can fully understand and relate to your situation. When I was married, and trying to be the man everyone thought I was, I realized that it wasn't the clothes that defined me, dressing femme DIDN'T give me any kind of sensual thrill, it just felt right. And I limited my dressing to the times that I was absolutely, positively alone, so as not to disturb my wife or my daughter.Quote:
Originally Posted by Debs
But my feelings about myself went far deeper than just clothes. And it wasn't the physical junk between my legs that defined my gender or identity!
I'm closeted but I'm with Doc if I did go out I would definitely dress to look good as opposed to simply blending in.
I spend too much time and money looking pretty just to stay home. I am very much an introvert and hate any attention.
Sara
I guess I like and admire women...not necessarily overly sexualized 'hot' women ( Like them too) but just normal down-to-earth everyday women and in a sense, when I dress I like to emulate the women I see out in the world and the women that I personally know and like. To me, dressing as an overly sexualized female is kind of contrary to the things I admire about women. I don't have any super hot women in my world or on my radar.
When I go out, my goal is to be out and about as if I was a woman, to the max extent possible. I usually try for what I'll call "classy casual", a nicer outfit than most of the women are wearing in a mall or supermarket, very femme but not flashy. I choose that because I like wearing the clothing and how it makes me look and feel, if I'm not heading out I'm very likely to look more "over the top", call it sexier but there would be zero chance that I would not attract much more attention than my skills can handle.
If I was headed to a club or other gathering, something more appropriate such as a fancier dress and heels would make sense. I will admit to dressing way over the norm in my earlier days, once wore a hot pink wrap around dress with white stockings and 4" pumps to a mall in the early afternoon, I enjoyed the whole outfit but it was way out of place! Sometime in the past few years I learned that nice pants and a well coordinated top and shoes allowed for incredible freedom, for the most part no one ever really looks twice except if I have a direct and close contact. Even then they have been all friendly, can say I have never had a rude comment or look sent my way and I'm 5'10, 260 or so.
Would I like to be the best dressed or fanciest in a crowd? Not if it would attract enough attention so that those looking would be able to see me as a guy in a dress. I have been lucky enough to have more than a few chances to wait on line to pick up an order at a JCP and have the women next to me start a casual conversation, so I would say I dressed well enough to not cause any bad reaction or have them ignore me.
We should all try to figure out what our goals are and dress for the best result, I think that we AND the general public would be much more at ease with the results.
Thank u, NJ and other recent posters.:hugs:
For getting this thread back on track by discussing in depth your personal dressing and reasons for it!:thumbsup:
Rather than preaching and/or spouting opinions about other dressers!:thumbsdn:
I wear female shorts 90% of the time in summer but denim or plain short that you wouldn?t consider exclusively female. I wear pantries daily and sometimes a bra when I?m not with my wife although she knows.
As for dresses I don?t have the body or face so I would be instantly identified MAID and don?t really like the look but do have a dress for home, just since Covid there is probably someone else home everyday.
I used to do the occasional interstate road trip on my own (Australia it?s a full day drive) and for this would often be a denim skirt and femme top but just not super obvious.
I definitely prefer to blend. Or at least keep them guessing
For me, it would depend on where and when I was dressed up. If I was just going shopping, or to the MallWart, I would want more to blend in. If I was going to a club on some night, I would definitely want to stand out a little more. But that's just me.
If we are to have a meaningful discussion on this, we have to agree on terms.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
"Dressing to blend" means dressing the way real women dress for the time and place. Nothing more, nothing less. As far as the term "granny style clothing", keep in mind that many women are grandmothers in their forties or even late thirties. They are not all wearing shapeless, unattractive clothing.
Those of us who aren't out trying to call attention to ourselves will dress to blend in with the other women. We are not looking for people to stare at us, call attention to us or snap photos of us. If we spend a few hours out in public as a woman and return home without anyone noticing us, we have met our goal.
Most of the younger women where I live, Krisi, in SoCal, tend to dress in loose, unflattering, sloppy outfits. I would never enjoy going out dressed like that!:doh:
Can we at least agree that dressing to blend means wearing clothes that don't flatter a woman's, or trans, sexy fem figure?:thumbsdn:
No doc, that is wrong. Just because some don't care about how they look on errands, etc. doesn't make all casual wear bad. Poor dressing is just poor dressing.
Closets, I was hoping to discuss dressing to blend here. NOT badly dressed women or T's!:heehee:
Because the few times that I actually make it out in public, I want to be taken as a female. And with VERY few exceptions most of us don't pass under closer observation. I can barely pass when people do their own self absorbed daily routines. But if I dressed to the nines, always wore high heels, stockings,,, etc that helped me to stand out.... then I get tagged and read. Ruins much of the mood for me.