The big purge

You know your situation best, but if this is a fresh start, why not try to incorporate your "Other self"

Never know, might just take.

I've never had the urge to purge. I was a late comer to crossdressing and came out to my wife early in the journey. Strangely cross dressing for me came about because at one period in our life my wife was often away for extended period due to issues with a daughter-in-law. For some not obvious reason I started wearing some of her clothes. After confessing soon after her return she accepted the fact. I make sure I don't cause any embarrassment to her and all is ok. I understand that lots of partners/spouses are not as understanding. I would find it very difficult to purge even one item of my female attire.

Apparently, crossdressing and purging are two of my hobbies. I do them both often.
That is sarcasm. I don't purge very often. I have purged a few times but I never changed inside. I kept thinking about it. It was on my mind perhaps every day. I have never dressed as much as you described. I eventually lost faith in purging. It was not working, and I was losing garments that I found hard to replace. Also, I felt like I was not as good of a person when I wasn't dressing.

So... What is your takeaway from this? If you want to purge and make it stick, then you might need something more than a willingness to start the process. You may need a support group. Maybe a counselor can help guide you. Something more than a decision on one day/week of the year. That motivation will start to complete with your cravings and .... you will not stand strong with the motivation alone. I don't know what you need, but you need more.

I wish you well and hope you find success. If you do succeed, let us know what worked.
My longest purge was 2.5 years, I think.

I will add one more thing: I was on a purge when I met my wife. I think that purge lasted 9 months. When I decided I wanted to marry her, I decided to tell her before proposing. I told her, but the story was, I used to do this... Also, in those days, I mostly only wore clothes that I could hide at my parents's house, where I lived. So I didn't have outfits... Anyhow, she stuck with me. The crossdressing stuck with me too. I eventually started giving back into it. I think she eventually felt like she was presented one thing, but it isn't what she received in the end. Maybe it would have been better for me to have said, "I am a crossdresser. I have stopped. I haven't done it in X weeks. It might not stay gone."

Joey.

Don't purge tell your girlfriend that you are a cross dresser because she will find out and you will start up again. I know because that's what happen with me years ago. It will come it's better they know ahead of time, so you won't have problems later.

Hi Susan, GOOD LUCK !!

I guess the first test if your desire to crossdress is ebbing is if you don't come back here to visit!

Dear Susan. Congratulations on your new relationship. I cannot judge your plan to purge as I've done a few myself. I hated it when I did them, and learned not to do them other than throw out old clothing as I would do any old clothes. I am single and have been all my life, so I cannot speak to being in such a situation. Do what you deem best for yourself and your new relationship. However, I do think that purging may be a postponing of the inevitable discussion you will have with her about your dressing, I cannot see you denying Susan forever. Is there any possibility of you having the discussion before you two move in together? Of course, do not do anything you are not ready to do, that's #1 rule. Yet, do see your relationship ever being at a place where you will be able to bring Susan up in a discussion? i hope so. Good Luck. :love:

Hope it works for you.
It didn't work the 4 times I did it.

Hi Susan, That usually doesn't workout , It will not be long before you restock,

($$$$$in the Dumpster)

Susan, The next time you decide to purge, and there will almost certainly be a next time, stop for a moment before beginning the purge. Gather up the money that you estimate you will need to reinstate your wardrobe after your contemplated purge. If you are like the rest of us, your wardrobe will again get reestablished and probably quite soon. Then skip the contemplated purge to avoid wasting the money. Instead, put the money to good use, such as getting yourself a nice vacation, buy your girlfriend something nice or share that vacation with her, improve your wardrobe, give the money to charity, do anything you consider good while the money lasts. That way, you will have something to show for it. If you cannot find something good, send that money to me. I will put it to good use and I will bless your generosity every time I wear what I purchase. 🙂

Why not sell your clothes on ebay or vinted. Then set aside the proceeds for your next purchase of clothes. I guarantee there will be a next time there always is.

As so many here will express, being open with your lady about your dressing would serve you both best. However, perhaps this current purge is simply you resetting your feelings about everything so you can give this new opportunity a chance and see how essentially having a female roommate/love interest under the same roof affects your dressing desires. I felt similar when I met my wife but came out to her within a few weeks when I knew she could be The One (she was!) and it all worked out.

I started dressing decades ago but it has been a roller coaster of dressing and purging.

Hopefully a day will come when you can tell her about your obsession of wearing things you like and you won't have to dump out all your stuff.