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So many times I have bought feminine clothes online, and thought, ?why am I doing this?? One time I bought 6 pairs of pantyhose online, and then canceled the order quick because I wondered if I should really be spending money on this? The amount of times I have canceled online orders is too many to count. This happens less often now though.
I've had those thoughts. But when I look at myself in the mirror and see the beautiful clothes I'm wearing i can't help but smile. And in that smile I see such joy and happiness any doubts I had vanish.
Sure, I had those thoughts as most of us. I ceased to have a problem with this including the feeling of shame as soon as I have accepted my femininity. When dressed up completely from head toe as a woman, it's like saying: come on Sabine, it's your time now, enjoy!
Naturally I wonder, but it's more a case of "what the h### was I thinking?" after going back to drab. I have the advantage that my Geena presentation is almost unrecognizable from my drab look and (I think) looks like a woman. It takes a bit to get over the notion that the 'woman' I see in the mirror is me.
Strangely enough, I am sitting here, at my desk, reading and typing, wearing just panties, cami bra and forms. The only reason that I am not wearing more is that I soon have to dress looking like a man for a physical therapy session. If I wasn't going out, I would probably have floral shorts and a cami top over my undies.
It's amazing because even after thirty plus years dressing in front of my wife even up to this morning getting out of bed wearing a full slip still feels so surreal. It's funny but my wife can't understand why when I dress in front of her I get so embarrassed still after all these years.
Oh yes, I've had a few of those moments. One of the first times I was out during the day in London walking out of Tottenham Court Rd station into the bustling streets, feeling so exposed and thinking "what am I doing" but I settled after about 10mins or so
I really haven't had those moments, but, I'm only about 5 years into this CD thing. What I do know is I am 100% comfortable in my panties, bras, dresses, wig, jewelry, makeup, and nylons. I'm very fortunate that my wife, while not a fan of my cross dressing, is quite tolerant of it. What I do think of from time to time is what would I do if she demanded I stop. I'm 79, we've been married 41 years, and I don't believe she would ever do that. But, if she sis, what would I do. Yeah, I could promise never to CD again, but I know I'd be in the closet dressing whenever I could. So, no, I don't wonder why I do this, but I do wonder how I might handle it if she wanted me to put on the brakes.
I don't remember a time I had doubts about dressing en femme
Likewise, I am not a woman, even though I have a feminine appearance due to estrogen over 13 years and have a bust and beyond shoulder length hair. When I stand before a mirror wearing a nightgown after waking up, I see a woman looking back at me. That illusion is shattered when I sing deep notes with my relaxed vocal cords, and a note A1, 3 ledger lines below the bass staff, comes out.Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieC
John