Why purging is painful

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Originally Posted by Sandi Beech

Thanks so much Dee. I know that you of all people might be able to make use of some items. Those black with silver banded shoes are really cute looking and the ones a young woman ran up to me recently wanting to know where I got them. And I had just got out of my car. I thought it was pretty funny that she wanted a picture and said I hope you don?t think it is weird or something. I guess some of my tastes are ok if someone runs up to me in a parking lot. Haha I loved it. Truly.

Sandi

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I will see if those work for me. I tend to have delicate feet and shoes like that with straps tend to give me blisters.

I will also need to up my nailcare game to wear all those open toe shoes. I might even know someone who owns a salon who will give me a pedicure!

Tough move Sandi but you gotta do what's best for you in the long run. Valuing family over crossdressing may not be easy but it often is the right thing to do for all concerned.

Right. Fiona, I put a lot of thought into it, and I really do not like the idea of having a conflict, so I essentially put family over me. Besides, I had a good run with it. Maybe a little too good ; )

Sandi

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Originally Posted by Sandi Beech

My wife is zero on the acceptance scale, and I am not going to force it on her because that would end badly. I have no hard feelings toward her at all. She cannot help how she feels. It wrecks her view of who she married. Sandi

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I've seen this many times on this forum. I experienced it decades ago with my wife. I can understand it when the need to wear woman's attire initially is first revealed. After a long marriage, where a guy has checked off all the boxes of societal norms and expectation, my wife knows exactly who I am. My life is an open book. Yes, there is a chapter she does not want to read but to she has not torn it out the book. I tried to find a post where you discuss in some detail how your wife has addressed the issue, but did not locate one. I know from posts of others, married to non-accepting women, even after prevailing over her husband, there is constant negative references made.

My thought is, OK! the wife won. Now what? I hope it turns out well for you.

Its sad i have done it a few times i always regret it.i still have a pink bra and panty with garter that my wife of 45 years gave me when i was twenty two.oh no way do i fit it now but im so attached to it because it was the first thing a woman ever bought me.but ourging hurts and some of us do it to reset but i dont any more hope you feel better we feel your pain but it will be ok

It is sad because I believe reading about your outtings always fascinated me and I believe they also helped in my confidence of taking small steps.
This week we were doing some spring cleaning and my wife wanted to go through my stuff. She told me I'm over collecting and she pointed out some items and turning 62 last week how much more do I need. The first bra she first gave me and the first bra she actually bought for me that there will be no way it's going to fit. She tells me she doesn't understand the huge collection because I usally wear the same things all the time and buying more pantyhose when I have so many, and asking me how long do I plan on living. I sometimes think about it if I was to clean the slate and throw most of it out how much more my mind would be at ease knowing that if something happens to me I will not leave my children with this impression of me. It really is tuff and I respect you for this very hard decision because I didn't throw the bras out and I could only imagine throwing it all out. I believe your doing it for the right reason and putting others first and keeping the peace in the house hold. Today my wife wants to go through my stuff again to cut it down a little and I'm going to use your courage to keep an open mind.
I feel your pain but I believe if your heart is in the right place there will be a sign of satisfaction. Keep us in the loop.