So sorry this happened to you.
The fear of something similar was one of the reasons I decided to come out fully to my wife. I decided that I was willing to suffer the consequences and that it would be better for me to bring everything up than to have her uncover my secret. I felt I had at least a small chance of things working out. That's another reason why I have never gone on social media and only appear in this and one other related site.
I do hope things work out for you.
My heart aches for you! I came out to my wife the instant things began to get out of control. It?s been up and down. I sincerely hope it all works out for you. It?s just clothes, after all.
Ok you got busted! Most of us have had or do have our little private girly stuff on line. Never thinking about the ramifications of the day all those little girly pictures will come out and they will it?s social media! So what? Blood is thicker than water. Let?s face it at least your family didn?t see on the 10 most wanted list in the post office. There?s not a darn thing you can say at this time, give them space and time to process. They?ll start by asking questions that?s the road for them to deal with it. My brother and brother in law are the most phobic people big time they got over most the people in my small town know I?m a crossdresser most of them got over it. But getting over it is in their court now not yours. You haven?t done anything wrong.
Hugs Rochal
One of the reasons I do not take pictures, let alone post them somewhere, is for the exact situation that is being discussed. In situations like this the person has lost the ability to control the narrative. The wife has also lost control of the narrative. What happens going forward? When my wife and I Had "The Talk" I told her I "did not know, why I do, what I do." Why would any man try to emulate a woman when considering all the negativity surrounding the issue. Risk v reward would suggest not to intentionally disbar yourself from family, friends and coworkers. Yes, sometimes we do violate the privacy of a wife when trying on her clothes, but to extend that to a daughter is like way too much. Here, the mending process includes wife and family. That entangles too many thinkers and the effect each will have on the discussion. It's gone past a discussion between husband and wife which in itself can have many outcomes, but to throw in the daughter and other is like.....ugh! Oh, crap. If and when the dust settles, there is couples and family therapy in your future. Those affected have to become educated as to what a man cross dressing is all about. Hopefully, the bond between husband and wife is strong enough to survive this type of revelation.
Hello Vicki, I am so sorry to hear about your situation, thank you for sharing it with us. I can't imagine how your family feels let alone you. This is a safe place to share and possibly get some advice to help recover from this situation. There are a lot of very bright and caring people here, I hope between friends and your therapist you and your family will come out stronger. Brenda
I told my wife before she found me out. Now I can dress with her home once in a while. But I usually get plenty of girl time all week.
You made 2 mistakes and I am sure you know by now. The horse fled the barn already, no use locking the barn door now.
So, if you want to stay married tell your wife that you can do almost anything she askes except to stop cross dressing. It is and has been built into you since you were a kid. I am not hurting anyone, it is not against the law.
Please talk to your wife alone.
Please be totally honest here on out. To not do so she will never trust you again.
This is common , doesn?t have to be a big deal ?.if she needs support we are here for her too.
Do not say you will stop?..you won?t ?.maybe for a while. But no you will not.
Even if it?s harder to do?.own it, explain it?s common just come clean .
This doesn?t have to be a big deal.If you need more help explaining suggest a counselor, one that is familiar with cross dressers and trans and can talk to you both. So she can understand. There are many couples here and we GGs have our own group.
Best Wishes
When I told my wife recently after many years of marriage it went better than I expected. That was short lived however because she wanted to become educated on the subject without drinking the koolaid I was pouring. If your family goes right to the internet to find answers they?ll likely encounter some pretty anxiety provoking stuff that will confirm their worst fears. This may ring a bit hollow to them but try to get them to read actual books or accounts from other couples. There?s a lot of great disarming info out there now. Reddit is a really rough place to start but comes up early on Goole hits. Stay away from the theory autogynephelia as long as possible, IMO, until you have a therapist to help you talk about it. Thats been a really tough one to work through. Best to you
Going to therapy, both alone and as a couple, will hopefully result in you & your family coming to an point where everyone is comfortable.
I came out to my wife about 10 to 15 years ago. It changed our relationship forever. My wife is someone who never forgives or forgets. I’m a crossdresser and I simply can change that- I’ve tried. I love her deeply and completely. But I can’t change the fact that I’m a crossdresser. She’ll never forget it or accept it. I’ve never lied to her nor will I. We’re truly DADT. Telling her made me feel better but not her. It forever changed the way she feels about me and how she forever feels about us. It’s so heartbreaking.
Please don't wear your wife's & daughters' things. :thumbsdn:
Like, ever again.
Particularly without their permission.
Anyway, keep in mind that this forum is always around for anyone & everyone! :)
Hi everyone so update I'm renting a furnished apartment to give my wife space. We are both going to therapy and trying to get her to couples therapy after the holidays. A lot of people mentioned crossing the line with trying on my daughter's clothes. I 100% agree. These were clothes that they left when they went to college and now live separately from us. The reason I did it was more about having more clothes to take pictures with for different styles. Again, I crossed the line and my biggest mistake was posting all this online.
Thank you for the update. Did you get a chance to have an open heart discussion with your wife?