Genderfluid

Gender fluidity for me is doing my daily activities either presenting female, which I prefer but is not always possible, or male. My body and brain just feel more natural and relaxed when in fem mode. Have no need to separate activities into any visions of assigned gender roles.

I agree totally with Jesse, I do my daily activities in whatever mode I Am presenting that day. The only ex eption being on the days tht .I am helping my son wuth tge restoration kf hjs 200 years old proprty.Otherwise I have no need or desire to seperate activities. My wife and I share the household chores, although she prefers to do the laundry, but leaves the ironing to me.

I struggle with this topic primarily because the definition of gender seems to be a bit existential. As others have said, the current definition appears to be "ones innate sense of self". How do each of us define that? Is ones innate sense of self generated by our gravitation to stereotypical gender roles, outward presentation, hobbies, personality tendencies? Stereotypical for what decade? What century? These things are constantly changing and pretty ill defined IMO.

I showed my wife what I liked to wear and she said I dress like I'm going to church and that's not how women dress day to day. So, is my innate sense of self confined to a women that wear skirts, heels, and makeup? Girls in glam mode? It's tough to reconcile the fact that I'm influenced by cues I can only observe, not experience, because I wasn't born female. For that matter, how do women generate their innate sense of self? They grow up interacting with other girls, learning what societies expectations are, and are also influenced by their own biology. Ultimately women and men are all different, and I think it's a impossible, if not laughable, to even try to define "gender", and by extension, "gender fluidity".

So to answer the question, I know that I want to have the curves and facial cues of " what my perception is" of the typical woman. I don't relate well with how most American men are expected to think and act. My hobbies range from typical male stuff like woodworking and fixing stuff, to stereotypical female stuff like dancing, fashion, and dramatic performance. I'm XY, not XX. My gender feels to neither be male, nor female. Nor does it swing back and forth as one might define gender fluid. My innate sense of self is...just me.

I don't think there is such a thing as gender fluid. I have a wide range of interests, some designated as male some as female. I don't link them to a separate gender or change my interests depending on how I am dressed.

I am on the verge of completing my eighth decade on the planet Earth. I've seen limitations imposed on women and men,too, when it came to societal norms and expectations. Even as a young kid in the 1950's boys did not do that, play that game, etc. The same with girls. As recently as last year I heard that from my son-in-law when talking to my grandson when he was trying to direct his attention with "that's a toy for girls." That mentality is still there.

As to hanging a single word on a complex issue, don't try to explain a complex issue with one word. "Gender fluid?" Express oneself in complete sentences and paragraphs. Don't go up to a person and declare yourself as "gender fluid." Me? When my wife and I had "The Talk" I ended up cutting through all the bullshit and said "I do not know why I do, what I do!" That was in the early 1980's. I still don't. I can tell her, if she listens, what I feel. There is no "women's work" or "man's work" in our household. One may have a better skill set in solving an issue or engaging in a hobby, but, none of that societal crap goes on.

I must say that growing up in Norway, I am glad that steriotyping women and men is coming to an end. But I grew up with a mother that denied me playing with my sisters dolls, even together with her. I was told from a young age how to be a boy. Boys don't cry,girls do. Boys don't play with dolls and play dress up. But if I was building Lego, playing football or help my father washing the car I was being a proper boy. At least I was told so. I was even told that boys didn't get sad when bullied, they get even. I think this has formed me as a person. I liked playing with dolls, I cryed when someone hit me. I just couldn't relate to being a boy. But still I didn't relate to being a girl. Because I wanted to play football and trow rocks in the ocean. Witch my sister was denied. I was being none of them. As I understand, feminism made the term gender. As an contradiction to biological sex. Gender is the range of social, psychological, cultural, and behavioral aspects of being a man (or boy), woman (or girl), or third gender. I just wanted to be free, and being myself. Embrace both the typical boy/girl expectations from society. Maybe the term is incorrect. Maybe not. But I can really relate to feeling both male and female. In a way I feel different inside me, from day to day. I think that is why I find it OK to be gender fluid. Or maybe I am genderless. But I just want to have a word for how I feel. And gender-fluid is giving me a word for who I am. I find that comforting.

I recall as a very young child getting not so subtle messages that somethings I did were not appropriate for little boys. I have no recollection of what behaviors were deemed effeminate, but I soon figured out how to overcompensate the other direction. Of course, the suppressed behaviors and associated frustrations did not change my thoughts and eventually found expression in other ways, not always constructively. So, where is the fuzzy line between effeminate or fluid or bi-gender? In my view, there is no line, no clear boundaries. Such abstractions can only be viewed as a descriptive approximation that fits to any individual to a lesser or greater extent.