I need feedback on possible l letter to S.O.

Hi there,
Dropping a letter is too sudden and abrupt.

Some thoughts .... it was noted in a response about eating an Elephant..
I agree.. One bite or piece at a time, let it digest.

Letters, writings, emails, "forums" <grin> can totally miss the
vocal inflection/ body language part of a conversing.

A thought is use the writing to possibly assemble your thoughts
Like an OUTLINE. for you

More pointedly one piece at a time
TRY Maybe introducing "IT" to her playfully.
as in trying something - nylons panties etc.on during a passionate interlude or other playtime or challenge.

then you might comment how nice and enjoyable it feels (the fabric,
the sensation what ever) then see if she views it as playful
or threatning. ease deeper slowly from there...


Best of luck, veronica

Seems most say the same thing and that youve seen a really important side of you that will not serve you well with your crossdressing and your SO. Thats the 90 mins worth in 6 seconds. I know this because this is how I initially handled crossdressing with my wife. What happened was that i simply overwhelmed her with it all. As for the letter. Start over is the best i can say and as with most things in life, is better to let the other person ask you the questions they seek answers to rather than for you to voluteer tons of information that may overwhelm or worse. For me this was a face to face thing but everyones relationship is different and hopefully you will decide the best way in which to present this to your SO. take care and good luck

gary

My husband told me face to face, and he let me ask the questions.....he answered then honest....at times too honest....granted he did not do the research that should be done PRIOR to telling an SO about such a part of ones life....and that created great pain and hurt in my life that could have been avoided possibly by his being better prepared for telling me about his dressing....there is a process that is called "grieving for the loss of ones life dream" its where a person thinks that things are as they should be in life - the wife, husband, kids, house, dog, mini-van etc...but then they learn of this twist coming into their picture and its not what they saw in their mind as their "life dream".....there is true grief for the loss of this.....not all go thru it....I am one of those who is trying to mutter thru it as best I can....I say this to you from personal knowledge as I am educated in mental illness and issues (while not a licensed professional mind you)....she is already struggling emotionally from the recent loss....adding this into her life could honestly be too over-whelming....let her have time to bounce back from this recent loss.....you have held it in this length of time....can you hold on to it for just a little longer?? for her sake?? just a suggestion.....but is your call......-Cheryl

If you are planning to cd while in a relationship, you are going to have to learn how to talk with each other big time! You might as well start now and drop the letter idea.

The gist of your delivery is almost "take me the way I am or hit the road". You give away too much information you do not need to at this time and does not leave room and/or time for her to absorb it all.

I am sorry to sound so negative. But I feel pretty strongly about this.

If you love this woman and when you are ready, sit her down and tell her you have found out you like to wear female clothing and then see where it takes you. You acn not plan or construct your way through this. One way or another you will end up having to talk. Somehow I feel you expect her to take this hit with such level of detail yet you do not have the guts to take the impact of it all on yourself. So you hide behind this letter. I realize how difficult this will be for you. But do try to TALK with her.

If I am way off base on this one please ignore my comment and do not feel offended. I had to tell you how I feel and almost did not post. But if I was in your shoes I would want to hear it, so here it is.

Michelia

I tried the letter thing with my first wife didn't go well at all still an issue after 15 yrs. I went slow with my second wife we did it togather face to face and our relationship is stronger for it.

A letter is a good way of organizing what you want to say. And your letter as it stands is a little harsh. It is a take it or leave it ultimatium. I don't see any of you in it. If any thing I see you hidding all those aspects she will want to Know. How do you feel, How has this effected you inside, there is no talk of your internal struggle and pain. what it is doing to you inside, You encapsulate all your feelings for her in one short line, same for your fear of acceptance, your loss of her. Wow she seems important to you based on what you wrote. Your letter needs work
My Advice, read cherly GG post to you, read it again and then A new post Ask the GG how they would like to be told, what is the best way to tell my spouse, what issues should I consider, what should I prepare for. Then listen very very carefully to them.

Like other responses given I believe writing a letter is not a good idea. However in the end if it is what you feel most comfortable doing. I would suggest starting letter by saying how much you love her and expressing your feelings for her. Keep the letter as short as possible and focus on your love and feelings for her. Jocelyn