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My wife is the only one in my house that knwo about my cding. Sometimes I do wish that my kids knew. That sure would make life easier for me. But I fear that being boys on the edge of puberty, knowing that their father was a cd would certainly not make there lives any easier. Maybe someday when thaey are older, I may tell them. Maybe not. :strugglin
I think with most things in our lifes, telling people what is truley going on, and trying to keep things from hurting others is a extremley hard task !! :(
"Do i tell ? and get the reprecutions ? or keep quiet and suffer in silence " ??
I mentioned once to my G/F that I liked wearing women's underwear. At the time, that's all I really liked to do, and that's as far as it went. Telling her was not a good idea. Sure, she dressed me up a couple of times, but I think that was her way of trying to accept it. I know that deep down she really didn't like what I liked to wear and that it really bothered her. It was however a lot of fun to play dress up and I commend her for trying it out, and she also didn't like the fact that she now also had to hide my secret.
Ever since re-discovering my desire to wear panties, the want to fully dress as female has grown exponentially! As much as I would like to tell my G/F about this, I know it would not be crushing news for her; not only with her, but my family as well. So for now, all I have is this forum which does help a lot! Maybe one day I will reveal, but for now, I'll stay put in the closet!
-Myst :star:
Good thread Angie! Yes I do hate having to hide it. My wife knows and is cool about it, but no one else knows. It is very hard to hide it sometimes. Since I crossdress frequently, it would be easier if some people knew. The fear that some people would think differently of me keeps it a secret. Also, I take into account my wife's feelings about telling people. She is not ready for others to know right now. We'll see what the future holds, but for now it's back to 'da closet. :heehee:
When I first came out 6 years ago, I told my Brother, thinking I could trust him to keep my secret. He proceeded to tell the rest of the family and now they want nothing to do with me. This is why I no longer hide anything because there is nothing left to hide. We all have our own crosses to bear, it seems.:happy:
I never had the urge to come out in one "grand play". It was incremental. Three years ago I started feming-up my everyday presentation gradually morphing from he-man to gurly-mann. No reaction that I could tell. Decided at that point I may as well tell my closest friends and associates figuring that some must have and others not noticed. No problem except with my best friend and thanks to the counseling of his wonderful wife he thankfully got over it. Today my cloths are all female (a mix of stuff) but nothing outlandish and my accesories are all girly. I'm very comfortable with this. This gradual coming out has been quite smooth. At this point yes; I do feel liberated!
I'm only known to my wife and one friend. It's a frustrating situation because I can be my true self with only two people in the whole world. I want to become more open and I hope to do this little by little.
Fortunately the world is changing and I think it will become easier as time goes by to present as a less than totally masculine man. Also the media are gradually spreading information about the true nature of crossdressing (that is, we're not gay, we're not transsexual).
Honesty with the people around you is very important but the older I get,and I don't like to sound ornery,the more I have a tendency to figure that there's no harm being done and it's nobody's business!Of course a lot of people know about me.I used to go around my hometown and the nearby area in a kind of makeshift girl/boy mode and there were people who knew all about me.I was out with the 3 GG's that I've been close to.But you can't be out with everybody.Some people just want to beat the crap out of sissies and some people seem accepting but crossdressers and crossdressing give them the willys and they treat you coolly when and if they should happen to find out about you.The public is a little bit more educated than it was 30-40 years ago.A few people,anyway.I remember that it was about 25 years ago that things got a little more accepting.But,actually,while it was no longer considered to be a mental perversity a lot of people thought of CD'ing as a prelude to Transexualism or Homosexuality and not as something in it's own category.Strangely,of all the things you could inherit,CD'ing is a pleasure.
Well, most of my family already knows. Sometimes I wish that they have not found, but it is like not I tried to hide when. I would always leave my clothes out in view in my room and shit. eSO , it is ok somtimes for them to know. We don't just talk about it, Its like they know I know and I know they know. but they and myself just don't talk about it. As far as telling my manager would some of my gg's that I know would be kinda of cool, becasue then I can talk girl stuff with them or go shopping, but That remains to be seen.,
MD
I'm still pretty much in the closet, more from inertia and force of habit than for any other reason. A few weeks ago a friend asked what I' done over the weekend and I gave him a vague answer, when he kept asking for more details I finally told him that I had gone to a drag show and had worn my best dress. He wes shocked and stunned but we are still friends, he makes an occasional comment regarding crossdressing just to yank my chain.
I would feel great if i was able to let friends and family know about my cding,then i wouldn't have to hide it anynore.
Its quiet a shame really :( when you really would like to tell those that matter to you , about your dressing. none of us are perfect , we all carry secrets in some shape or form :o
To be honest I am not contemplating telling anyone. My wife knows and does not disaprove too much but I dont go out so why should I tell anyone, its not like I want to turn up at their house dressed coz I dont
[QUOTE=Emma England;857813]Hiding is not good for anyone.
Maybe you find this strange, but I find it easier to talk to strangers than to family.
We have a word for this attitude here in the US and we are very good at it. It is NIMBY (Not in my back yard). We can converse easier a lot of times with strangers because they aren't affected as much as our family is. Our family suffers potential embarrassment and ridicule for our actions and we are very aware of this. I know that most of my family knows about my crossdressing (maybe not my transgenger situation), but very few accept it and only one will even closely talk to me about it. My friends and coworkers are the same way. Some suspect but will not mention it, I will not deny it, but I am not going to add to their discomfort by being more open than I am. I am in thier "backyard" so to speak and they don't want to deal with it that close to home. They, on the other hand, may be the strangers you can comfortably talk to.
Michelle
Its a double edged sword isn't it? If people with higher profiles felt comfortable enough with "coming out", then this would work wonders for the ts/cd/tv community. If more people came out more generally, then the stigma would be reduced to an extent that it wouldn't be deemed as harmful to careers/reputations of more "higher profile" people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissa Stevens
xx
My wife, our massage therapist and one girlfriend of our know. No one else in the family (children, grandchildren and spouses) knows, although they saw me in femme once for haloween. I would love to tell them and know that some would be accepting, but others I'm not so sure about. Today is mothers day and everyone will be at our house to swim and have dinner. That means I have to take off my toenail polish before everyone gets here. I could leave it on and that would get the message out, but I'm chicken to do so.:love:
If it was not because of the kids, I am sure by now I would be totally public about it all. She would be totally supportive if the whole world knew.
Our kids know and see it everyday. But it really is because of them that we keep it all a secret. There is no need for my family or hers to know. They do not live around us, so what would be the point?
But I know she wishes she could talk about it and share it more. She has wanted to bring it up to her best friend. So far, she has been able to contain the desire to let the cat out of the bag.
Michelia
My wife knows. Hates it. Self emplyed so no worries about a boss. But now in my mature years I have grown more comfortable telling others and strangers. Store clerks. Hairdresser. Doctor. Girl at adult book store.
But my wife does not like this--she is very much opposed to any of our friends or relatives learning my secret. So she has to keep the secret, too. Uncomfortable, because she lies for me. Dad is going to business meeting--really it is Tri-Ess.
Only three of those closest to me know. I would like to tell some others but if word got about it would create difficulty for me socially.Of prime consideration of course is my Wife. She would prefer that things go no further than they have.There are other aspects to my life also that are equally, if not more important . My current situation accordingly will continue.
[SIZE="3"]My wife has always known, it never really has been a secret and she is most accepting. Recently (prior to finding this forum) I could no longer suppress the need to dress fully and to go out. In light of this and two ventures into the public realm, my wife and I have told a very select few in our group of friends. The most surprising thing is not one bad reaction, it's all been positive so far and supportive.[/SIZE]
My dressing is a secret and only my family on here know about it :hugs: and with 2 teenage kids and a wife who wouldn't understand the only time i get to dress is when i am on my own,i would love to dress and put on my makeup more but wouldn't want to mess up my kids lifes by splitting up my family :sad: which is what would happen if the wife found out.
She did ask me if i was having an affair last week as i was spending more time on my appearance ( and she found my anti wrinkle cream :heehee: ) I told her then i have enough to put up with with her :Angry3: so why would i want another woman ( except the one inside me )
When I had my apartment and was living alone I dressed just about every day after work. I was active went out a lot and had many friends. I was working hard to get approval to begin my transition. I was happy and alive and living on top of the world. I made the mistake of telling my oldest daughter who was about 25 at the time. She went berserk and we have not spoken to eadh other since. It really hurt because I knew that she was a lesbian at the time ( still is). She is a brilliant person with a Phd teaching at at prestigious eastern university. So I guess we all have to discreet when we share our secret life. Not all the people march to the same beat of our drums
My wife recently found out and we are working through it. I told my sister, as she has always been my best friend. My brother in law also knows (as he was on the phone when i told her) he is black so they already deal with all the prejudices that are out there. I haven't told mt Mom and may not, she is 78 and why bother her with it. No way I am telling my older brother. The best part was Saturday, my sister and I took Mom out for her birhtday- she said my your legs look so nice ( i tan and shave) I looked at my sister and we both almost started laughing, it was great! Made me feel pretty damn goo too! This is the greates forum ever though, it has helped me so much just to read through all the posts and realize there are lots of other people with the same issues as me.