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Ok, everyone seem to agree we shouldn't give a rat's behind out the "real" world, what we r, or call ourselves. But, what about here?
I've read a large number of posts from CDs who say they r straight, unless they r dressed. Then a man MITE look good to them!
Maybe the "gay", "bi" thing keeps coming up here, because a number of us r either in denial, or still working out what we actually r?
As a result of reading all the posts from my original posting, I am no longer concerned to be thought of as gay. As a male, I have always been a loner and have come to realize that the people around me have to accept me as I am. I cannot control what they think of me as a person and if I accept who I am then why should I care what they are thinking? As a result, why should I feel any different as a crossdresser. I want to be noticed when I am in male mode and I really want to be noticed when I am in female mode and I don't care if it is a male or a female who is doing the noticing. I want to be seen as an attractive women.
The feelings about sexual preference surface when we come out to friends and family that we crossdress. They may want to know about our sexual orientation. When we are out as a female, who cares?
If I have ever offended any of you with a comment or post about my homo/hetero/bi/androgonous sexual preference, I apologize. In closing, may I say to everyone, " I love being a girl!" and "Viva la difference!"
I addressed this in the original post. Seeing as how most CDers identify as feeling both masculine AND feminine, it is easy to see how either sex can appear attractive. BUT when someone is gay or bi you are ALWAYS attracted to the same sex, NOT just when you or they are dressed.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
And yes, it is possible for some to be in denial or working out who they really are. But why admit an attraction at all if you are truly in denial? And if you are working out who you are, then why not just state you are curious? Why the question of being gay or not? Why sound insulted by the suggestion?
This post isn't about those that truly are gay, bi or curious. Its about those that feel the need to adamantly deny being gay and thus over-professing their heterosexuality as if being considered gay is such a horrid thing.
So I just posted in an effort to help those that question it constantly and give them a bit of ease of mind.
I wonder how many straight men/women have caught themselves staring at another guy/girl, and felt something ? Would they consciously admit to themselves "Oh my. I just felt something for that guy/girl" or would the "rapid response thought police" come in, and erace the moment ? I know what it's like to look at people of any sex, and feel something. And some of them weren't classically attractive. But something attracted me. Animal magnetism ? Intellect ? I hate to over analyse, but it's good to ask myself questions, and find that I am not the only one who ponders such things. And so far, no "penalty police" either, carting me off to the dreaded "original thought jail".
DD, I applaud your intention...Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonicDaughter
Unfortunately that attitude seems pretty common? :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by CharleneCD
[SIZE="2"]Yup, fair enough, sounds pretty reasonable.Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonicDaughter
BUT, where I come unstuck with it is this - imo, you are not 'straight' if you are a MTF CDer who is sexually attracted to men while dressed. Changing your clothes and putting on some makeup doesn't change who you are or absolve responsibility for your actions - it's still you. And if you are attracted to men, want to or do have sex with other men when CDing, then you are not heterosexual.
Don't get me wrong, I have no issue whatsoever with other people's sexuality, and I really don't care whether anyone here is gay/straight/lesbian/bisexual or something else altogether (well, except my husband, lol :heehee:). I don't care whether you feel the need to label your sexuality or just "be". But it annoys the crap outta me to read posts along the lines of what I've mentioned above. CDing does not absolve personal responsibility, and you are still responsible for your actions regardless of what you're wearing.[/SIZE]
:2c:
The question does seem like one for the ages, and through confronting my own reality recently I feel less confused than ever. I mentioned a fw times in posts that I was straight hetero and I would like to point out that was not meant in any way shape or form to be a putdown towards Gay/Bi people. I have a strict live and let live attitude and don't feel the need to dole out hate anywhere. Being new to the forum I just thought it was typical to state where your preferences lie, but if that's not the case then I must apoligize if I've offended anyone. I really have a hope for the future that all people will be able to get along better.
Interesting note. A few months ago I saw a documentary about the history of sex (can't remember where) and it mentioned somethng about the labeling of sexual preference as somewhat of a new phenomenon dating to the early 20th cent. Before then people weren't labeled as this or that, just the sexual acts themselves. (pretty sure about that, it's been awhile since I saw it so don't quote me.) I'm not saying I agree or disagree but it's interesting how human thinking is dependant on what we are taught by society.
Love for all! :hugs:
I am not gay, unless you count being in love with myself. Then I am totally gay (for me).
Sometimes, I like to tell people that I am 20% gay. I used to be 10% gay, but I'm twice as queer as I used to be.
Seriously, I have some sexual experience with both men and women and am open to being seduced by either but my preferred partners are female.
I guess this makes me primarily heterosexual, but I'm not a flag waving straight person.
Demonic Daughter, I love your posts and am playing with you a bit with my response. I hope you don't mind.
Pink
Hi DD,Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonicDaughter
I know what you mean. Just relax and quit being worried about what people might be thinking about you. Have confidence in what you know for yourself to be true.
There are two people at our Sacramento TG group who, when attending events in drab, often greet me with a close hug and a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes at gay bars I also get other CDers touch my thigh and be very friendly toward me. Do I worry or panic that "some thing's going on"? ... no ... I just smile relax and as you say "enjoy feeling good and receiving a compliment" :) If it ever goes too far, I just remind them that I'm married and 100% monogamous. :tongueout
...unless you identify as female and consider yourself a hetero female.Quote:
Originally Posted by secretlypsycho
But, yeah, in the case you mentioned you are at least bi-curious. I would imagine lots of CDers are at least curious or open minded once they've come to peace with what they do, because it is a form of crossing gender lines and that can open up your perceptions quite a bit.
DD, I really liked the way you worded your OP. :hugs:
And Lex, if you would QUIT being so handsome and dashing and courageous and sexy, maybe us girls would quit hitting on you. Like you said, comes with the territory... of being a hunky pirate captain! purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. :daydreaming:
I thot I was straight, until this was pointed out to me:Quote:
Originally Posted by Stargirl
1. I'm sexually nuts about Sherry, who is really a man, me.
2. I've seen pics of some very convincing and sexy CDs, and I was attracted to them.
The fact that any man's unit, including mine, is a deal killer for me, doesn't change my initial attraction. Just as SG pointed out in her post. So, I mess around with Sherry, maybe I would with another certain CD. I just wouldn't go near 3rd base! So what does that make me?
Semi-hetero? Upper half of their bodies-gay? A designated hitter who brings in a pinch runner to go to 3rd? Who knows, I don't!
Who brot this up in the first place? Oh, yeah, DD. THank u!
I am sure that some of the customers in my nail salon have taken one look at me and thought, "Gay Guy". IMHO, it is a natural conclusion when you look at how a lot of us was brought up. Any male that would walk into a nail salon, wearing a Pink t-shirt, White shorts, open toe sandels, get a pedicure, have his toe nails polished Bright Red, then get a manicure and have pale Pink polish put on his nails, and then get his eyebrows waxed, HAS to be GAY. It is a gut reaction.
I once had a customer sitting in the chair next to me comment that she thought it was great that a Gay male would take care of his feet and hands. I chuckled and told her I was not Gay, I was a TransGendered. All of a sudden her entire attitude toward me changed. It was like I was a long lost Girlfriend she had not seen in a long time.
I might as well wade in too. I am bisexual - regardless of what gender I am presenting myself as I am attracted to both men and women, depending of course on the men and women.
Personally, I prefer men physically. In other words if you put me at a beach I am more likely to have my head turned by an attractive guy than by an attractive woman. But, I am more easily able to form emotional bonds, which can sometimes lead to sex, with women.
Why do people wonder if CDs are gay? I see it this way. The majority of GGs in the world are interested exclusively in men. CDs are emulating GGs so people either assume or else wonder whether that extends into their sexual tastes as well. Assuming it, I feel, shows ignorance of the spectrum of human sexuality but I also feel that wondering about it seems reasonable. Given my unique perspective I wonder about the sexual orientation of anyone I find attractive. Don't we all do that?
I am so glad that I have become comfortable with my crossdressing and having discovered that I enjoy sex with men I am now very comfortable with being gay or bi sexual I guess is a better description for myself.
i'm a lesbian!!
so glad there's nothing wrong with me!
back to work,
weeeeeeee!
(it riles them to believe that we perceive the web they weave...)
giggles,
jessie
And I love when you do. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Pink Person
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel Morley
Thank you both. Its not my intention to have a "one size fits all" sort of answer but its interesting to see so many over-emphasizing their sexuality. Its okay to be curious. Its okay to question the sexuality. Its okay to want to find out for yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by kerrianna
What's not okay is to act like its the worst thing in the world if someone thinks you are gay.
LOL! I would definitely put you in the curious to "I wanna play" category! :) And there is nothing wrong with it. As I said, I believe in exploring one's feelings, thoughts and emotions. And I love that you can admit what you find attractive. That really is the key to understanding your own sexuality. But the endless threads debating how to respond, if CDers are, so on and so forth where the implication that being gay is a "bad" thing just proves that many don't realize who they are characterizing being gay just as many characterize being CD.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
Sweet talker! :love: :kiss:Quote:
Originally Posted by kerrianna
i used to worry a lot when I was younger if being a CD made me gay. Now I know it doesn't. If anything I like to think of myself as "hetroflexible"
I think some people get the wrong end of the stick, like most CD'ers I'm about as straight as they come but it just gets a bit more cloudy when gender comes into it....am I bi gendered hmm possibly
Pandora, consider how you might feel if other people kept saying 'but of course, I'm NOT a CDer' - particularly when some of them juxtapose it with something else that was a big deal - wouldn't you wonder just why they harped on about it?Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora
Particularly if no one had first asked? Doesn't it sorta speak most of their worries and fears... Why should being gay or bi be worrying, or fearsome? :strugglin
It's the reactions some exhibit to that possibility which appear so to me.
"If anything I like to think of myself as "hetroflexible""
Alicia! This is great! Hope you didn't copyright it, 'cos I'm gonna borrow and spread it around..
This needs to go the "Urban Dictionary", too.
respect & love (for expanding the language),
deja
I'd have to probably identify myself as curious. Never done anything with a guy, but the more I allow myself to think about it, the less I am opposed to trying it.
And that is exactly my point! Well put hun!Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
I love how some responded to this post with HAVING to include they were straight or heterosexual (or in two cases, hetroflexible, lol). This statement implies that they feel the need to make sure NO ONE mistakes them for being gay.
Though you may not say it directly, this is like saying, "hey, my wife wears a dress like that, but I sure as hell would never wear women's clothing!" How does that make you feel? Like the person saying such a statement thinks wearing women's clothing somehow would make him less of a person? That's exactly how it feels when people, who were never asked for their sexual orientation, feel the need to profess it before or directly after making a statement anyone might even remotely associate with being gay or bi.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
I agree Nicki, That's why I wrote what I wrote. I'm pretty new to the forums and didn't really know what to expect here and really just thought it was something talked about freely but looking back though maybe I sounded touchy about it or something. Like I should throw in the Seinfeld "not that there's anything wrong with it" .
In my much younger years a long time ago I actually did look down on gay people a bit, even while secretly dressing. But as time wore on and I opened up more and actually got to know some gay people personally I realized what great human beings they are and how there really isn't anything wrong with being who you are. Sometimes that's not so easy to figure out when society sets up certain "norms" that are to be accepted. Especially hard when you're young and want to fit in. With age comes wisdom right?
:hugs:
If only age came with something... :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora
Pandora, please DON'T take my comments personally - at least you were brave enough to say what you thought - and to apologise?
I was really trying to use your words to get to others? :hugs:
xx