i just unkowningly fail being a male test!!

I too am a large man and can be intimidating even though I make no attempt to be unless my size would help defuse a tense situation. When shaking hands, I give a firm but not competively painful handshake and then stand my ground at arms length. The reason has noting to do with "personal space" for me, it's just easier to focus on someone who isn't 5 inches from my nose.

I do find however that when I am in en femme mode I do tend to have a much gentler handshake but still not a "finger-tipper" That bugs me in either mode.

I would say it's an American man-man thing. With a man and a woman, the space closes considerably for the man but I bet it widens with a woman, therefore maintaining the status quo! LOL.

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Originally Posted by sterling12

It's an American Thing! people in The U.S. are very uncomfortable with people encroaching beyond their safe zone. In Nursing School they described that zone as somewhere between 24 and 36 inches. The only time we feel comfortable with the rule being broken is during times of intimacy, and so we subconsciously think that anyone violating "The Zone," is trying to be intimate.

In Europe, and other places; there is no such rule. You see people holding hands, arms wrapped around one another, and no one thinks anything about it. And, nobody is threatened!

In The U.S. we live in a very uptight society! Even when males shake hands, (and some females) we have to immediately reestablish the rules of conduct. Gosh, wouldn't it be scary if we should ever show any feelings? Obviously, we are very uptight and anal-retentive. Maybe we need to work on that problem?

Peace and Love, Joanie

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Oh these fictional rules are just too silly & complicated. How about we just be human.:)
( & for the record, that was a very odd way for her to make a point about driving )

This thread reminds me of the question "What does a gentleman do standing up, a lady does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Shakes hands! What were you thinking? LOL
Enjoy life, Chari

KARREN that just go's to show you are MASTERING the best of both worlds

:hugs: susie

I guess I missed that one in male training 101! I was to busy in Female Training 100 on that day of class.

Karen, You only failed the test, that's all. Lady, you're good to go.:thumbsup:

THis is the first time I have ever heard of the one step back scenario. When I shake someones hand I prefer a nice firm grip but not overdone. I do not like the 'limp wet rag' type nor the 'bone crusher' handshake. For the most part I think women are better at it than men.

My Dad taught me that a firm handshake and a sharp look in the eye were what's best. But he also told me that a simple "Hi how ya doin'" was OK sometimes and that it wasn't always nescesary to shake hands. My Mom and Dad both told me that it's better manners to shake hands with females than to hug and so forth,especially if you don't know them very well. But I can't help it. My nature is very girlish and much of the time I hug my female freinds and my CD freinds. But I am talking now about GG's and CD's who I've known for awhile. Where I give myself away and sometimes fail the male test is that when being introduced to someone I give with kind of a semi-circle wave to the side and I say "How ya Doin'" or "How Are Ya". A freind of mine tells me that comes across as kind of sissified.

That's it. No more male clothing at work. The truth is finally out, so you might as well dress properly. OBTW, just be sure you stay out of the mines.

I was always taught to shake someone's hand with quite a firm grip.. Shows you care about what you're doing.

The amount of new people we get in at work at the moment i'm getting all sorts of different handshakes, limp, soft, wet, then sometimes even not at all.
You can sort of pick someone by the way he shakes your hand. And i never knew about the shake and step back thing..

I was out with about 10 friends (men & women) and two of them would easily qualify as macho homophobes. Now hadn't seen this groups of friends for sometime and now realize why I hadn't missed those two. when the coffee was served (small china cups) i apparently could find room around the cup for my pinky so I pointed it out in a dainty fashion (I didn't realize this until it was noted by thingone and thingtwo). They had a good laugh at my expense and i did the only thing that came to mind, i kept drinking my coffee with my pinky sticking out.
Sarasometimes

Aw....Karen your just being European :)

Come to think of it, we dont step back in here Blighty just smile lean in, shake, lean out, the distance doesnt change......mind up there the old shouting the insult across the pub greeting.......:)

Karren -- Hug, hug, kiss, kiss.

Seriously, I live in a community with a lot of ethnic people (I don't want to mention the nationally for fear of offending someone who either lives there or whose ancestors came from this country unified by Garibaldi). Anyway, they are a bunch of hugging, kiss, kiss people whenever you greet them (the women). That's one reason I have to be careful where and when I wear a bra en drab.

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Originally Posted by Fab Karen

( & for the record, that was a very odd way for her to make a point about driving )

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I was wondering how the workplace enforcing gender stereotypes was part of a driving safety course too.

HR would be having to explain that one.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Lol... I'm not worried... Most of the 550 people in this building probably suspect I'm a bit different from your atypical male... And I do a lot of hugging.. with friends and coworkers alike...

And I did just put on some flowery face lotion... And I plucked my eye brows last night... Pink tie.... Dark knee high nylons... Light coat of mascara....

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"Zee deprogramming ist VERKING!!!!" said Dr. Strangelove...