I understand what you are saying. It sounds like you are living in a "Catch-22" situation. You can't talk to people in fear of being rejected, but to break this fear you have to talk to someone, catch-22.
I sometimes(lots of times) get into this situation. I fear what others will say to me so I try to avoid people and I go deeper and deeper into avoiding people that sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed, it feels safe just sleeping my life away.
I look for little things, like just saying hi to someone, then move on. I don't give them time to tell me their thoughts. Then the next time I will listen to people a little more each time until I san break from my shell. I know this sounds easy, but it isn't. Sometimes the routine will take weeks before I am fully talking to strangers again. Even then, I keep my friendship down to a few trustworthy people. I am very happy with a few good friends than a lot of so-so friends.
I can't tell you what you should do to make things better. You are in a vicious cycle of loneliness, that can only be broken by you. I really feel sad for you, if you want to say anything that is on your mind, go ahead, we can listen and try to help.
Love Amelie
