Why, oh why?

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Originally Posted by suzy cool

I have two loving parents and both were very much a part of my life. So the theory doesn't hold up for me. My brain is just wired this way.

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Same for me......My Dad passed when I was 17 but that had no influence.

I guess it's just who I am

1. I don't know, either.
2. I really do care why and I don't think we should stop trying to figure it out--the more we realize, the more we might help other CDs.
3. I don't think there is one reason. For some, "it's just me," may be true but I think it really goes deeper than that.
4. Both my parents were alcoholics. My dad was very functional and worked hard, played hard. My mom was sometimes out for days. My brother is gay and knew it in his pre-teens.
5. I was about 10 when I sneaked into my mother's closet and tried on some of her things. I got a wonderful sense of peace.
6. There are times when I hate men and hate being a man. I know I am one, however and do not want an operation. I am inextricably drawn to women's things and maybe it's just a reaction to pressures of being male--but were they evident when I was 10?

Just wired this way and trying to enjoy it

Wow, some great responses! I suppose I should just accept it and live, but my curiosity got the better of me. I know that one's upbringing is supposed to influence how we dress and act while we are children as we learn from those around us, and then form our own "opinions" later as we grow older. I guess it wouls affect not why we CD, but how we dress/dressed. As for why, it must have been the Space Alien Ferrets messing with the water, eh? :heehee: Dook, dook!

Rachel

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Originally Posted by Ruth

I don't wonder much about it because I don't think I'll get anywhere. However, occasionally a little nugget of information comes my way.
The other day my mother said that when I came along, she had really wanted a girl. She always loved me as a child and treated me like a boy, but you have to wonder if there were some kind of subliminal signals going on.

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I once heard my mom say something like this over at relatives house once, although she denies saying it but I know what I heard.

I think sometimes we want some kind of cop-out, someone to blame so we don't have to own up to it persay. I know that drives my search for answers at times. Especially when I get down on myself for it.

I still have not owned it totally and will often try to compartmentalize somewhere deep back in my mind.

Hi Rachel,

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I suppose I should just accept it and live, but my curiosity got the better of me.

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If the question is on your heart then ask it. That is why we are here for each other.
When you feel ready to just accept it, you will.

I've pondered it many times, although I know I will never come up with the final answer. I believe its going to be completly an individual situation for each of us.
My desire for female role models all my life keeps coming back to me every time this question comes up. I don't know why, it just does. I've always wanted to pattern my life after good strong women in my life. And you know what, I would not change that even if I could. I feel the same about my crossdressing. I would never want to change the femme side of who I am. My femme side is very much a part of who I am.