"...the sexuality that's expected of us ..."

But if any of you ever get into Robert Anton Wilson (RAW), he can be INCREDIBLY insightful. One of the more valuable things he taught is about sexual identity. Three things:

1) With precious few exceptions, we all play two sexual roles. First, the role that we THINK society WANTS us to play. As distinct from the actual role that society wants us play.
2) We have a unique sexual identity which invariably differs from the one society wants us to play and our perceptions thereof. For some people it's as simple as a sock fetish, for others, it's as exotic as your twisted mind can imagine.
3) The only thing that's consistent across different societies with respect to sexual identity is that it seeks to CONTROL WHAT THE INDIVIDUAL WANTS TO DO with that identity for its own purposes.

Fortunately, in our particular environment, we can really focus in on item 2, and leave 1 & 3 for the trash bin. We have more freedom than the vast majority of societies in recorded history. So... rejoice! And good luck...

Alandra

I love the arguments "if". If wishes were fishes....

Lets put it this way, if you have ifs you isn't.

I am what I am.............

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Originally Posted by Megan_Okana

... This may be weird but the girl i want to be is the girl that Im atracted to as a guy. And as a girl i want the kind of guy I am. But both are complete opposites of eachother

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No they're not, Megan!

They're both just different aspects of the same you...

Don't you ever feel Megan when you're "what's-his-name"?

Don't you ever think like Megan when you're not dressed as Megan?

And don't you ever feel or think like "what's-his-name" when Megan's in the mirror in front of you?

As much as so many folks here talk about being virtual "split personalities", to me there's a lot of personal, calming, mental value when each of our "selves"
can accept and embrace the other.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

Heterosexuality isn't just learned. Most males are attracted to a particular body type, which is inherently female. A 70% waist to hip ratio is the most commonly found figure that males respond sexually to. That shape is not commonly found in nature on a male body. We've had 'generations' of time to 'unlearn' herd behavior. There are millions of gay people out there that are doing what they feel natural to do, who don't follow herd behavior. There are millions of us who crossdress comfortably on our own, who don't follow herd behavior. But it's not simply always just 'herd behavior' that we are following, it's what we feel we are supposed to do. And so are the vast majority of straight people.

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When I spoke about "herd behaviour" I was not talking about sexual preference. I was just reflecting on the language people use - the "semantic" issue brought up by Lisa.

I just find it curious that so many men insist on using very strong language ("disgusting" etc) to describe how they feel about the idea of sleeping with another man. I think men's language in these circumstances is herd behaviour.

I'm somewhat confused by my sexual identitiy lately... the more I consider transitioning and how I feel about being feminine, the more bicurious I become. I start to wonder if I'd like it at all... I don't think I could date a man, but maybe someone with a penis.

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Originally Posted by windycissy

Very astute observation...being with a man is part of the fantasy, but when it starts to become a relationship, we face the same issues GG's face in dating: do I need to "put out" in order for him to keep asking me out? It's when you discover that you really enjoy pleasing him, and that it feels real good for you too, that you realize you've crossed that line.

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I understand that, but I mean before there is a relationship. We have some cder's say... i am not gay or have ever wanted to have sex with a man.. Then when I am dressed I thing about it. .. the thought excites me things like that

Welp, I am repulsed by men in general. It's masculinity that I don't like, even within myself. I feel better if I feel fem before I look in the mirror, even in drab. I don't know why. I am straight by my definition. I have had a couple of same sex encounters, but they turned me off eventually. This is because I am only attracted to femininity. I don't like masculine women either. They do nothing for me. So, sum it up as this, I desire femininity, in myself, my spouse, my partners if I was single, irregardless of sex. But, I will admit, sometimes when the "woman inside" comes to the surface strongly, I could go for a guy. I don't know why that happens either, especially since masculinity turns me off. Go figure.

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Originally Posted by AmandaM

Welp, I am repulsed by men in general. It's masculinity that I don't like, even within myself. I feel better if I feel fem before I look in the mirror, even in drab. I don't know why. I am straight by my definition. I have had a couple of same sex encounters, but they turned me off eventually. This is because I am only attracted to femininity. I don't like masculine women either. They do nothing for me. So, sum it up as this, I desire femininity, in myself, my spouse, my partners if I was single, irregardless of sex. But, I will admit, sometimes when the "woman inside" comes to the surface strongly, I could go for a guy. I don't know why that happens either, especially since masculinity turns me off. Go figure.

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Iam just the opposite. I like masculine. Not attracted to feminine men,not attracted to men who want to explore their feminine side not, attracted to the ladys in any way. But I am not repulsed by any of them.

I had to wait til I was 52 to find out I most likely had a pituitary tumor as a kid, when it died off it took my growth hormone messengers with it. Twenty percent of autopsies show evidence of a pituitary tumor. It is possible that when you listen to what your body is telling you, you're listening to a different tune than 80% of the world.....

Truly a fascinating conversation on an interesting subject, but it leaves me wondering 'what about me?'. Because the essentials of it are as confusing to me as Egyptian Hieroglyphics to a dog.

I firmly understand what is 'Masculine' and 'Feminine', the energies, ideas, archetypes. I am more drawn to the feminine, living it, being it, experiencing it. Desiring to become it.

What I dont (and sometimes feel cant) understand is sexuality. Ive never had a lustful thought, have never had intercourse and have no need or desire to 'self-stimulate'. Im not attracted in a sexual manner to anyone or anything - no secret fetishes - nada. I cannot remember the last time I became 'aroused' while conscious. I achieve 'completion' only 3 or so times a year, in bed by dreams I never remember.

I could go on, but i think you can understand what Im trying to say, crude euphemisms aside.

I just don't get it. We're a society moving forward, and next to no one is perfectly straight anymore. We all have our own little things we like about own gender and our own little things we like about the other. While we may not want to have sex with some hairy bear, who here would turn down a night with say, Brad Pitt? Get real. I don't care what people label me; I know most guys don't do it for me and girls are my main bag (baby), but I'm not uniformly straight or uniformly gay. I just don't care all that much.

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Originally Posted by SamanthaX

who here would turn down a night with say, Brad Pitt? Get real.

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Me. And I am being real. Brad Pitt? YUCK.

And to the earlier question about repulsion, I know women who use the word repulsive in reference to males that they find unusually unattractive.

Oh, and yes I do find my own male appearance very unattractive and the only way that I avoid looking in a mirror and describing myself as repulsive is to look for and focus on the features that I emphasise in order to present myself as female. In effect, I look for my hidden female image in the mirror rather than looking at the repulsive male image that I actually see.

Just because you personally don't think that males are repulsive and you personally don't know women who use that word doesn't mean that they aren't repulsive to others or that no women use that term to describe them.

Benn here almost 3 years and still str8 though I have wondered a few tims what it would be like being cruious. That I'll never know.:hugs:
Angie