The Domino Effect of Outing Yourself

Ok hun first off. I am out to all family friends and work. I drive truck and lots of my fellow truckers know. Friends in the Military know and are fine with it. I was a air force brat, Dad was in 442 squadron in Comox BC. So I know the probs you can have . Just think of the worst thing that could happen then don't worrie about it and go for it. Don't go half way go all out dress fab just your makeup done by the girls get a smoking hot dress like the first one( by the way you look assume, better then me.) Use your fem-voice and stay in fem-mode all day. Have fun and if someone asks why , just say "cuz I wanted to and I am having so much fun with (all) the girls pawing over me,next year you should try if you man enough." Don't keep up the line of "my crazy friend made me do it" just say you thought if would be fun and you were right. If they think you did toooooooo good of a job then that's fine, cuz (IF) you come out to every one , one day that won't shock them so much.

Last year was my first time out dressed and since then I have had my nails painted and when I picked up my truck from the shop and 9 at night dressed a night guard and my yard (whom used to drive for us) was there and saw me . long story short I was outed there and no one minded they just wanted to make sure I was not going to the customers dressed and I said no. So no prob.

I think you should do it (BUT) your the one that has to live with it for the rest of your life. But as one that is out at work I can say I have been surprised so many time at the way people react to my dressing and 99% of the time it's positive. So I say go for it after all It's Just HALLOWEN right?

Good luck and I hope you have fun what ever you decide. If you need to be inspired read some of my posted of my reunion(JUST CLICK THE LINK IN MY SINGNATURE) and about my mom and you will see how people can change and how some of my old class mate took my dressing and some were in the military too.

HUGGS Christina Horton!!!

Gossip in the workplace is a habbit worth breaking in any case, but also there is a women's network that you don't want to disrupt (sounds like she is a great person to ask to find out what's really going on in the office). Don't worry too much about word of your 'costume'...people think it is cool.

Just do it! It won't be anything to live down... if anything you will gain a lot of respect from the women and the guys will respect you being so connected with the women that you would allow them to have their way with you. And if you get any weird male macho comments you just say...good thing it is only one day... you have to respect the women who wear heels or long nails every day!

jojo thats what i was thinking..
i losta great friend to that nasty cancer. a geat old drover man he was and a great friend indeed..

would call it "crossdress for cancer"
Kathi Lake just has to make the manager think it his own idea lol
we had a saying in the public service. if you want something done, make the boss think the idea is the bosses own idea ;)
the other way is.. set it up so a donation of $10 is to be collected from every one that dresses up and $20 from those who dont ;)
but then i would be happier paying the 20 no matter what :D

and John. thank you for the words at the time. i shall never forget.
a) dont pick your nose on horse back
b) dont ask your self if you can live without her.. ask if you can wake up next to her every morning and smile:daydreaming: we all miss you mate :evilbegon :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Crysten

Kathi Kathi Kathi.....

You are either the bravest.....

Or the craziest.....

Person on this forum.

And I can't decide which :)

And those girls are right - you look great!!

Best of luck with coming out (or not) at work....

---

Crysten, I have always thought there is a fine line between bravery and stupidity. I know where I sit on that spectrum, and try not to drool on myself too much. :)

What can I say? I've led a pretty charmed and happy life so far. What's the worst that can happen? (there's that stupidity again!) :)

Kathi

You are one guttie LADY. Having been in the military, I understand and can see the problems and decisions you face and need to deal with. The girls are right, you are drop dead gorgeous.....hope this doesn't cause a problem with the girls at work. They may not say anything in public but still be jealous. Updates would be nice, especially when Holloween gets close.

Hugs,
Alice

wow kathi - just wow
sorry i cant add anything to the situation, as i'm self employed and so my only co-worker is me in drab.....
jessica :)

Jessica be careful!! You may inadvertantly out yourself to yourself, then have to fire yourself!!! :eek:

I've been following your posts Kathi and I greatly admire your courage at work. I'm not there yet. I thought I was "there" earlier this year when I was clocked by a co-worker in Seattle. I've had the good fortune to not see that goon on the last several of my assignments so maybe I'm in the clear.

As for dressing on Halloween and going to work - I promised myself someday that I would have the courage to do that. I know the girls I work with would have a great time with it. Some of the others around a media production though Hmmm...

Michelle

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Crysten

Jessica be careful!! You may inadvertantly out yourself to yourself, then have to fire yourself!!! :eek:

---

thanks crysten. i must be v-e-r-y careful:)
jess

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Crysten

Jessica be careful!! You may inadvertantly out yourself to yourself, then have to fire yourself!!! :eek:

---

Or, you could out yourself, realize the strengths you bring to the table and give yourself a raise. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MichelleP

I've been following your posts Kathi and I greatly admire your courage at work. I'm not there yet. I thought I was "there" earlier this year when I was clocked by a co-worker in Seattle. I've had the good fortune to not see that goon on the last several of my assignments so maybe I'm in the clear.

---

I know. I still cringe when I think about that. It's sad that we have to share the planet with low-lifes such as that, isn't it?

Kathi

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Or, you could out yourself, realize the strengths you bring to the table and give yourself a raise. :)

Kathi

---

lol.very true kathi. i may bring that up at the next 'bored' meeting!! :o
jess

that's funny, i've used the halloween excuse several times;) esp. when i get wigs...:)

I guess you would call me a lifer. Well over 20 years, SF's and then some. What you are doing is really high risk if you plan to stay in the military. Having said all that - you go girl!!!! Recognize that you have essentially outed yourself and I am sure you know that. The genie ain't going back in the bottle. My sense is that you know that and have consciously accepted it. That converts to the highest order of bravery imaginable. Even though I have never had the privilege of meeting you I think I can relate to you on a level few others can. Hang in there, but don't ever think you can fool people, especially other woman.

You are my hero.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Weave

Kathi- I hope it does work out like one of those dream-stories for you! Keep us abreast!! :)

---

Heh, heh! She said "abreast." Heh! :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jayme357

I guess you would call me a lifer. Well over 20 years, SF's and then some. What you are doing is really high risk if you plan to stay in the military. Having said all that - you go girl!!!! Recognize that you have essentially outed yourself and I am sure you know that. The genie ain't going back in the bottle. My sense is that you know that and have consciously accepted it. That converts to the highest order of bravery imaginable. Even though I have never had the privilege of meeting you I think I can relate to you on a level few others can. Hang in there, but don't ever think you can fool people, especially other woman.

You are my hero.

---

I fully recognize that the genie isn't going back in the bottle - nor do I want her to. At this point in my life, I understand only too well that the clock isn't running backwards. It is, in fact, running pretty darn quickly in the other direction. If I am going to live - not sort of live, not live just a little bit, but live - then I have to do what I have to do.

Yes, I am trying to keep it kind of quiet. Telling a woman whose (no offense to the ladies out there) bra size is bigger than her IQ about my "secret" may not have been my brightest idea to date. On the fooling issue, you're absolutely right. Once she saw the pictures, and once every other woman has seen the pictures, I do get the sense from them that they definitely know that there is something different about me - the way I look and carry myself as a woman is not that of a guy in a Halloween costume. So, I will take life as it comes to me. Some call that bravery - some call it stupidity. I call it happiness.

Kathi

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Weave

Kathi- I hope it does work out like one of those dream-stories for you! Keep us abreast!! :)

---

Ooooooo, there's that word!!

I see that Kathi caught it first, but then, if we can't have fun, then why do it?

Kathi, you still have lots of time to make a decision. Don't let anyone, not even your friends here, push you in any direction that you don't want to go. Take care.
:love: and :hugs:
Jo

Kathi - hmmm. You have not kept us "abreast".

Dang. I want to be abreast.

Deep down in my bosom I want you to keep us a-breast!!! I am tickled pink to think of it. As seen by my Reunion dress!!!

For what it's worth. I've been to halloween parties where military members were crossdressed. The one that is most memorable was a Navy Captain who was the commanding officer. He didn't look half bad.

Kath.....I"ve been waiting patiently......


I'm still not abreast. :sad:

Boob maybe. But not abreast. :)

Hi Kathi .

I got dressed to the 9's for a off post halloween party and to go to a club who was also having one. I lived on post with my 1st wife , who would not have approved of Jinny , but it was for Halloween so she didn't care.

I stopped into the barracks , checked in a the CQ desk and then up through the company halls to visit the boys , then over to Brigade HQ , to visit my Squad leader who was on duty that night.

I didn't get hassled at all , only thing that was said was man you've got big B**ls .


Especially with the don't ask , don't tell policy , I wouldn't worry. Your doing it for Halloween , many a man dresses as a women for it.

I also have followed alot for your posts , you seem like a great person. You look Absolutly Stunning 120% passable . If I could look half as good as you as a women ,, I'd be doing it almost 24/7 .

If I was you, I would do it for Halloween at work ,, The women want to see you do it. I would tell them you were going to ask your friend who helped you the 1st time , help you again . So you could just show up as you. Although it could be fun letting the girls at work help too.

Only you know whats the best to do.

Have Fun , Be yourself and enjoy the moment.

Jinny

You look fantastic! I don't think it matters much that the women in the office know anything about you. What matters is that you know that you are beautiful.

I think you must be just bursting to tell the whole world but the whole world just isn't ready for you.

Tipyish, it does feel that way sometimes. I feel like I'm in my little cage, and want so much to get out, but can't. I would love for the world to allow me to be who I am, but neither it nor I am ready yet. Sigh.

By the way, Weave, did you hear that? I think it was a collective groan. :)

Kathi

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

I feel like I'm in my little cage, and want so much to get out, but can't. I would love for the world to allow me to be who I am, but neither it nor I am ready yet. Sigh.i

---

You probably put a lot of of hard graft into helping the world construct that cage. But do really want to spend the rest of your life just sitting there admiring your handy-work?

Kathy,

Maybe your need to share isn't necessarily someone else's need to know. And you run the risk that they may not treat the information respectfully.

You've got me wondering though, maybe you just want to bring your authentic self to the work place and I can relate to that. As a genetic woman, I feel I have to act like a man at work in order to be successful and that doesn't feel authentic. Thanks to many women before me, it's getting better. Maybe some day in my life time it will get better for those who are transgendered but when I think of my workplace specifically, I don't think I'll live to see that day.

Btw, I think you are very pretty and well put together.

Cheers,

I think that's exactly it.

As a GG, you'll understand. Some days you just want to get dressed. Some days you want to wear a dress - whether you're feeling extra-feminine, want to feel better about yourself, or even no reason at all. I would also like to have that option. On days where I feel like wearing a dress, I wear a dress. Sadly, it's not to be for the time being - whether through cowardice or not wanting my family to bear the brunt of my "strangeness."

For the most part, I don't want to do this every day. Although I'm not a girl, I've done this long enough that I know how much goes into it - the hair, the makeup, the outfit-choosing. Some days I may want to spend this effort, most days (I am a guy, of course, and basically lazy :)) I don't. As I've said before in these forums, if I had to do it every day, I think it would lose its magic. I would have to do it. This way, I get to do it - big difference, to me.

Thank you so much for the compliments. I know many of us here work extra hard on our presentation. I know my fashion-sense certainly has helped my wife.

Kathi

After reading all this - here are some things to consider.

1] Having any sort of guys in drag day at work is a bad idea.
Why? Well there will be you [the undercover pro] looking good surrounded by guys in beards and ugly dresses.
Granted a few with the help of their Wifes/GF's/ect might not look half bad, but again you will deff be a stand out that day.

2] Halloween - well like it or not, it sounds like the choice has already been made for you.
Basically with the number of girls in the know and probably more by then you will be upsetting the apple cart if you don't do it.

2a] You do have a choice in one part of it.
To keep up the "halloween story" or open up that closet door a bit more. If you want to still keep downplaying it remember this. Be sure you use the same wig and shoes in those pics, lol. More then one of either will be another tell tale sign of more going on then a past one time thing.

3] While it is nice of the girls to offer, you always have your wife to fall back on as the one who did you up.
So just feel free to show up all done up.

3a] Maybe instead of the "dressed as a women" "costume" you can go the extra distance and pick out a female costume, might as well go whole hog right?

4] As far as the first girl you told.... You say she isnt the brightest bulb in the box, but you do have to give her credit for one thing. It seems that she is only informing other girls who are like minded or receptive to it.

5] To act or not to act that is question....
Be yourself, your inner self. Remember you have done this "once" before so you have your sea-legs. Don't play it down or dumb it up, they will probably be able to see through that even faster. lol.
If for nothing else you can always slip out a "I dusted off those heels and have been practicing" into the next conversation.

6] Face it - they may not know the whole story, but those girls know something is up, as of writing this thread you are/were basically out at work to some degree.
I would try not come out any more at work [at least before halloween] but I would try to step away from adding on to the crazy friend story. Let it go because if you want to come out more, keeping that story up is going to bite you in the ass later on.

7] Once everyone else gets to see you [halloween] you can always fill in the core group of just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

7a] Again - Do not underestimate that girl! Having friends like her doing the legwork for you is a good thing. She has a handle on who will be cool with it and it saves you from having to do it. Some times it is just better to have or let others slowly out you to people.

The only way 3 people can keep a secret is if the other 2 are dead. LOL.
All this may have started out with a slip of the tongue, but you probably were ready to let it out on some unconscious level already. And out there it is.

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

First, you are right. Though she may be a bit of a dim bulb, she is a woman - and has a lifetime of experience in being just that. She has the intuitive nature to know who she can tell, and those who she shouldn't. I guess I will continue to trust her instincts.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

You were also correct on me wanting to let the secret out on either a conscious or unconscious level. It sure would be nice not to have to pretend.

Sigh.

Kathi

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

First, you are right. Though she may be a bit of a dim bulb, she is a woman - and has a lifetime of experience in being just that. She has the intuitive nature to know who she can tell, and those who she shouldn't. I guess I will continue to trust her instincts.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

You were also correct on me wanting to let the secret out on either a conscious or unconscious level. It sure would be nice not to have to pretend.

Sigh.

Kathi

---

Just remember Kathi...how ever you handle this particular situation, if you do go thru with it, just let your personality take over and have a good time. The girls night out sounds like fun and, of course, Halloween is right around the corner so that could provide some added opportunity to leak your secret out. I wish I could tag along and give some moral support. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas

You probably put a lot of of hard graft into helping the world construct that cage. But do really want to spend the rest of your life just sitting there admiring your handy-work?

---

And aren't you a very insightful badger, well said. The cage sucks, well to be more accurate, it sucks for me.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.
Every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed badger.

As a retired US Marine ~ don't do it. Should you stumbled and fumble in another area (and it doesn't have to be you ~ just someone under your chain of command) it can and will be used against you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

Kathi

---

Hi Kathi
Yes I was in a long winded mood, lol, but your very welcome.

As far as the girl night out goes.
I would say do it.
I think going out with some of the girls will be good for you and give you a time and place to be able to talk more freely [outside of work] about you.

Just get the where, when and who else with in advance.
I don't think you want to be surprised to where and end up at one of "his" stomping grounds.

And just remember to have fun! :D