Hows your social/love life?

http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/208...ttecurves2.jpg


Thats my girlfriend. I just did the caption.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

Same for the reverse; men 'in general' want young prime fertility age, healthy looking women, with a waist to hip ratio of approximately 70%, and again guess what, men predominantly prefer feminine women, not women with men's haircuts wearing steel toed shoes and men's suits.

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At my age, I'd be happy with a GG who is not damaged, deranged, or delusional... (and sometimes these traits are very well hidden... and sometimes overlooked...)

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I've slowly made clandestine inquiries about crossdressing, whenever any even remotely related subject comes up in conversation. I don't see any positive viewpoints returned; at best, they just don't care either way, but that's not a positive thing at all, and you can be sure that when people respond like that, if they were confronted with it, they'd want nothing to do with us.

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I, too, have made inquiries... Occasionally, some of the responses are very positive. However, it turns out that they enjoy crossdressing as long as it is not their boyfriend/intimate partner/soulmate...

Robyn

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

I wasn't trying to be a downer; but I really like people to be prepared for reality.

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Crossdressers often make great efforts to look like a woman, yet they often make little efforts to THINK like a woman. If they would, they would also better understand the needs of their SO and understand that a good relationship is based on compromises and a balance. If a CD wants to dress 24/7 at home, fine, but then don’t be surprised if that hugely decreases the changes of a successful relationship. And there are many other issues related to crossdressing where you need to find a compromise with your SO. Many crossdressers are too selfish in my opinion, too greedy.

Btw, I do think you’re negative. Summing up things like the babysitter issue is just digging for issues to make things look worse than they are. Is your life going to be such a drama if you have to compromise by giving up baby sitting? There are lots of people who have to make compromises in life based on who they are!

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

Uh, yes we can. I didn't get my information out of thin air. Look at what and who women 'in general' are attracted to, and guess what? It's not feminine guys! Same for the reverse; men 'in general' want young prime fertility age, healthy looking women, with a waist to hip ratio of approximately 70%, and again guess what, men predominantly prefer feminine women, not women with men's haircuts wearing steel toed shoes and men's suits. Yes, there are anomolies. But by percentage, really not many. Yes, you can take statistics and view them any way you want; but as an example, in a high school, at least half the girls would consider dating a football team member, probably more. Less than 1% would want to date a crossdresser. So, yes, we can generalize and be quite sure we're on the right track.

there's just the feminine connotations that seems to destroy any sexual attraction most women might feel for us.

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I kind of think that part of why I disagree with here may be an age gap thing. I grew up in a time frame where our prepubescent girl crushes were Hansen (I'm still not convinced the middle brother wasn't actually a sister), replaced by the Moffats, B44 and LFO (still not really what one could call 'manly'.) My brother was on the football team, I can't say he ever had anyone hitting on him for it. We had one of the best teams in the city, and still no-one really went to the games or knew who the team was. Another friend of mine says her school's football team was well known for being more interested in each other than in the female fans, if you know what I mean? Anytime there's a teen 'football/cheerleader' movie that comes out, at least half the high school population will be rolling their eyes at the bad stereotypes which seem to glorify the 'high school experience' of aliens from Mars.

For anyone even younger than myself, the 'male' crush materials seem to be coming from High School Musical (Zac Efron and his girly face? The fact it's a 'high school' movie and therefore eye-rolling doesn't seem to stop his popularity) and Glee, with a good dash of Katy Perry's 'I kissed a girl' giving them ideas. One forum I'm on which seems to range from junior high school students faking the age limit to a little over university age on the original members, seems to be overrun with bisexual girls and mostly very different attitudes about sexuality and gender than I've seen from some of the baby-boomer or Gen-Xers on here. I know that this doesn't help many of you, but it may be comforting for you to know that your younger 'sisters' might have a better chance of finding accepting partners more quickly!

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

And this contradicts another person's advice, to get out there and be ourselves 'en femme' in places where women can see us for who we are. Interesting, is all I can say right now, because now once again I don't know which way to go. A guy who says he supposedly has success going out dressed, vs a woman who says she wouldn't approach a guy who is.

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I'm sorry if I sounded like I was saying to not go out dressed in public, that wasn't my intention! I think that's a very personal decision for a crossdresser or t-girl to make, and I really hope that no-one feels less comfortable doing it because of what I said. All I'm trying to point out is that if I personally run across someone who is dressed in public, it's not going to magically make me strike up a soul-deep conversation, especially because I wouldn't want to sound like an offensive idiot if I DID ask something about the crossdressing. (I'm less worried about that now I have someone I *can* ask those questions of!) Honestly, I think the more people who go out dressed and acting like normal human beings, the more individuals in the general public will realise there's a difference between most cross dressers and over the top drag queens, and that dressing like a woman doesn't disqualify a person from being a 'boyfriend'.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

I wasn't trying to be a downer; but I really like people to be prepared for reality.

Uh, yes we can. I didn't get my information out of thin air. Look at what and who women 'in general' are attracted to, and guess what? It's not feminine guys! Same for the reverse; men 'in general' want young prime fertility age, healthy looking women, with a waist to hip ratio of approximately 70%, and again guess what, men predominantly prefer feminine women, not women with men's haircuts wearing steel toed shoes and men's suits. Yes, there are anomolies. But by percentage, really not many. Yes, you can take statistics and view them any way you want; but as an example, in a high school, at least half the girls would consider dating a football team member, probably more. Less than 1% would want to date a crossdresser. So, yes, we can generalize and be quite sure we're on the right track.

They will overlook a lot of other stuff, but crossdressing is a deal breaker for nearly all of them, especially when it comes down to choosing a mate. And if you push the issue, if they find out you're a crossdresser, they won't want you around their young children. Ever. Try showing up for a babysitting appointment for a 6 year old while in drag. Think they'll let you stay?? Uhhhh, not likely.

This is a concept that a lot of people fail to grasp. Basically, most people adopt a 'not in my back yard' policy regarding crossdressing. We're no longer routinely in physical danger of being beaten or killed just because we crossdress, but no one's chasing us down the road to be our friends or lovers either.

Yes, that's the general experience. No women. None.

Babeba, unfortunately, that sentiment doesn't hold true for most women (I only wish it did!). I don't try to present all my good points vs. the crossdressing; there's just the feminine connotations that seems to destroy any sexual attraction most women might feel for us. I understand it. I don't necessarily like it, but I understand it.
And this contradicts another person's advice, to get out there and be ourselves 'en femme' in places where women can see us for who we are. Interesting, is all I can say right now, because now once again I don't know which way to go. A guy who says he supposedly has success going out dressed, vs a woman who says she wouldn't approach a guy who is.

You can make all the effort you want. If someone isn't attracted to you, or more specifically, if there's something about you that turns them off sexually, there's nothing you can do to change that. We have no conscious decision making that lets us decide what turns us on, and what turns us off. None. It's not a choice. If it were, I'd choose to be turned on by short, fat, ugly, smelly women with bad dispositions, lousy complexions and bad hair. I'd be having so much sex that I 'd have to quit my job. Life doesn't work like that.

Yes. Friends. NOT girlfriends. There is a difference. And not everyone that expresses interest in someone who's 'taken' will actually follow up on that; it's easy to say it, because you don't actually have to 'show up on game day'. I've known many married people that profess to single unattractive ones that if only they were single, they'd date the other person in a second, yet in private, admit they'd do nothing of the sort. And, I've also seen many single men tell ugly married women how sexy they are, and that there must be something wrong with their husbands if he's not 'totally hot' for her. I'm not saying your friends are insincere, but it is always possible they were telling you what you wanted to hear; friends do that.

That's what I've experienced. I've slowly made clandestine inquiries about crossdressing, whenever any even remotely related subject comes up in conversation. I don't see any positive viewpoints returned; at best, they just don't care either way, but that's not a positive thing at all, and you can be sure that when people respond like that, if they were confronted with it, they'd want nothing to do with us.

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You're like spot on again to me girl. And it really doesn't like fall under the so totally lame negativity category to me as more like the reality of life in the world of T-Girl category.