ur all right
I love women but have a problem with liking men too
cant stand to be around men when dressed because afraid they will find me out
im straight and can live that way just fine
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ur all right
I love women but have a problem with liking men too
cant stand to be around men when dressed because afraid they will find me out
im straight and can live that way just fine
I consider my self bi leaning more towards the straight side although i would love to go on a date with a handsome guy. yet this is something i would never do in drab. i would never go on a date with another guy in drab because i don't identify my self as a homosexual individual. I would need to look and feel feminine and because wearing female clothing makes me feel my self, going out on a date with a guy would seem right to me, which in a sense makes me gay. so am i gay or am i not? and this is exactly where im confused about my whole sexual oriantation.
I consider myself straight.
I've considered dating transwomen of varying stages of their transition (pre-op, post-op, and non-op). Why things never worked out, I guess they have the crazy part down... lol
I couldn't date another crossdresser (although I have no problem letting a fellow CD know that they're gorgeous, when opinion is sought, as I've done here).
I wouldn't sleep with a transvestite.
I do not find masculinity attractive and would not be inviting to any approaches a man made on me, regardless of my outer appearance.
I'd say I'm 85% attracted to genetic women, 15% attracted to transwomen, 0% remaining for the field.
Regardless of which I wind up with, I would hope that she's accepting of the fact that I cross-dress. I don't think that's something that's really worth hiding.
I think sometimes we go around the houses to find an answer here too much.
Without meaning to offend anyone it boils down to one thing!
If the image of a penis excites you-have fun if not go find a nice girl.
In my mind unless being a CD is just a fetish or some non-sexual hobby of some sort, I think we are not totally "straight" males. I like women and if I were dressed and seeking a sexual partner, I would only seek a woman, and that would make me a "lesbian of sorts". In male mode, I'm only attracted to women. I don't much care for men in any state of dress and have for most of my life, avoided them when possible. Perhaps that means I don't like myself much either since I'm a male.Quote:
Originally Posted by Engendered
There are only "straight" cders on this forum by their admission--I have absolutely no way to verify that, and since I believe that human beings are so fabulously gifted at rationalization and justification, I tend to doubt the veracity of the stated preference-though soem have stated elsewhere that they too would be lesbians by choice. There just seems to be too much interest in dating CDs and right at the bottom of these very pages you will find links to cds by state, cd dating and tv dating links. That doesn't exist for nothing. search the web and most of the crossdressing websites seems dedicated to gay activity, search transgender and you will get a million hits of "trannies" "********" etc and 99 percent will be related to gay activity.
I still haven't figured out what went on in my mind 50 or so years ago that led me on this path , but while I consider myself a heterosexual male in drab, would I be a lesbian in women's clothing, or if I had been born a female? My alltime favorite part of sex was always cunnilingus starting in my teen years. Each to their own taste!:2c:
sláinte
yes i agree im pretty much starting to think your way also.Quote:
Originally Posted by girlalex
For arguments sake let pretend I am a very strict vegetarian. However, at a friend's one night I am asked to try a large steak which has been beautifully cooked and most importantly covered in a delicious gravy. I just love the steak when it's covered in this gravy but could never eat in plain just out of the grill. Do you think after this I can still claim to be vegetarian if I continue to eat any meat providing it has a suitable sauce or gravy?
I can't fathom how two crossdressers having "girlie fun" one night can still view themselves as straight is beyond me. In the final analysis it's two blokes having fun i.e. gay
to be honest when all dressed up i just need a women with that extra thing!! i don't consider it gay!!
hi paulinescotlandcd, i saw ur flickr. i am jealous of you bitch!! (mods pls dont zap me for this). u have a nice collection. let me shop this weekend n make u feel J :) wait n watch ;)
always luv
reni
Thanks Asia, your jealousy has been noted :) - I will find the dress at some point in my life that when I put it on and look in the mirror I will look in my opinion like a woman. At present I still feel that I look like a bloke in a dress, all be it a very nice dress.
i love to be female. what ever is feminine i like it. I am straight but i often dream of being a girl. I dream being taken for date and having fun with my guy. I wish to be a girl dominated by a guy. but in real life, i am not so sure in being gay. I am not interested to men at all. But when I am dressed up as a girl and when i feel so girly. If a male treat me like a girl, i will get layed for him. I cannot resit the feel a girl can get to be in bed with her guy and lying in his chest warm.
I consider myself more TS so a 'gay' relationship would mean i'm straight :)
I know what you mean though, if i hung out with the gay community more i'd probably be more myself. I've basically reprogrammed myself over the last few years to fit into the norm.
Isn't it more about simply about being who and what you are?
I think that is exactly what the original post was all about, and when we discover who and what we are, we will have to say what that is---OGM , a label--so that folks will know what and who we are. You may very well know those facts but keeping us in the dark does you absolutely no good as far as we are concerned. We cannot relate to you in any fashion without having some CLUE? N'est pas?Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana
"I am what I am, simply works if it is for a cartoon character.
I would want to know if you were a cop in drag on an undercover mission.:2c::2c::2c:
Still living... still learning... One day it will end... so until then...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deborah
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deborah
Being honest with one's self despite what the stigma that might attach to the admission. If you are a CD and know deep down that you have a feminine bent that will not go away, it is better to "suffer the slings and arrows" than hide in a closet for a lifetime. As is oft said here, happiness in one's life is paramount to success as a human being.
Similarly, if being gay is who you are, than self admission and acceptance is the only way forward. You may not have to tell all the world, but certainly there are some to be trusted with your frankness.
As I said earlier, we are great and rationalization and justification, if only to avoid actually being candid with our innermost being. It is facile to just say i am what I am--it means that either one has not thought things through or has not thought about things at all. If you go for a job interview, no future employer wants to hear " I'm just me"--he wants to know more about that "me" and that requires actualyl thinking about who and what we are. The label helps us determine a place along the spectrum of human variation.
Secrecy only leads to a kind of schizophrenia that makes life damnably difficult
Folks:
Please remember that being gay is not just about who you go to bed with. It is who you go to bed with PLUS who you form romantic relationships with PLUS how you identify PLUS any number of other things. It's NOT just about Hide The Banana...
@flatlander_48
So someone can sleep with someone of the same sex and fall in love with people of the same sex and still not be gay? Other than bisexual what else could they be? Am I being dumb?
No, you're not being dumb. The only point here is that there are a number of factors to consider. If you sleep with someone of the same sex, it's not an automatic that you are gay. There are lots of questions to be asked, such as:Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryZips
- Do you see yourself in a long term romantic relationship with this person?
- Could you be attracted to others of the same sex, or just this person in particular?
- Do you align yourself with gay politics?
- Without hesitation, how do you see yourself?
How you answer these and other questions will determine where you are. It's just not as simple as many would have you believe. The thing is, people will always want to classify, categorize, segregate, etc. They're just trying to make it simple for themselves. In many cases, such as this one, the true does have a bit of complexity about it.
Thank you flatlander_48 for your comment. As a gay male, I agree that being gay (or straight) is more than sex. If you are questioning whether you are gay, then ask yourself if you can see yourself long term in a relationship with a man. (This man may be masculine or feminine) Do you want to go to social events with this person, do you want to pay the mortgage with this person, do you want to have romantic dinners with this person? A good friend corrected me a few years ago by saying that "sexual orientation" is not really about sex, but who we fall in love with. So, who do you fall in love with? Yup, I like the fellas. Never been in love with a lady.
"So, does this mean that you are going to transition to female at some point? {Pre-op, post-op, no-op?) Otherwise, isn't the rationalization we do so well. It goes like this: as a male, if I wear women's clothing and I'm hot on a guy, I can claim TS or TG and escape the "gay" attribute, when one should say, I like this or that guy, to hell with phoney dressing issue, I am "gay" and be done with it. Or bi- or whatever. It's all about calling a spade a spade."
Not sure where the above came from it was in post #67
Yes i'm no-op because i have children and it is my choice not to do anything. I'm hot on plenty of guys (as in finding attractive) whether i'm in women's clothing or not and i have no need to escape the "gay" attribute. What i really want to give a guy i don't have ;)
I could totally live in an ltr with a guy.I already live with a guy,just not in a relationship way :)
I think it's probably easier, in the sense of having a dating pool, to be either a straight non-CD man or a gay man than to be either a Bi-CD or a straight CD. The men who prefer CD/TV ladies to gender girls or men are a relatively small part of the population, and the gender girls who are willing to even contemplate the idea of having a relationship with a CD are as rare as hen's teeth, at least in my experience. For the purpose of that answer, I'm using the terms Bi-CD and Gay CD as being sort of Co-Evals.
I think the original poster was just tossing an idea out for discussion, but I don't think for a second that we can consciously make our choices of who or what appeals to us sexually based on what is convenient. We are what we are psychologically and physically, whether it's nurture or nature which is the cause is irrelevant. A person is either going to follow his or her impulses and needs or not. For whatever psychological reasons which sit in my brain, I'm not nearly as interested in men when I'm in drab, and I'm not nearly as interested in women when I'm dressed, for whatever that information is worth. I am, however, happier now that I'm active as a Bi-CD than when I was married and both trying to hide my wardrobe and suppress my sexual impulses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by joannemarie barker
Yup, I like the fellas too
Wow, this one peaked my interest. I read several of the comments hoping to establish more clarity on my position.........I have always been straight all my life. Over the last year or so I am attracted to pretty CDs..... I have never found the male image one bit attractive; however, in pretty female wrappings, I think I might be more than curious !
Being a gay CD has its benefits, but its a matter of how you actually see men when you are in drab. I've contemplated this many times, so I know your situation. Is it more of a sexual turn on, or do you actually want to be with men?
For some maybe it's not an easy question to answer?
I am a straight male with a wife and kids and have never had a gay experience.
As a CD'er I do THINK about what it would be like to have a physical relationship with a man, but as I am happily married I wouldn't want to complicate things, although my wife would probably say 'try it and see if you like it!'
For me I'm happy to keep it in my head...but that's today....I'm notoriously fickle, so who know's about tomorrow?
CD'ing in my younger days was more a sexual experience...now its something different???
So those who are, then great, those who aren't but might try it, then enjoy:)
well, being gay isnt a choice, as many have pointed out already. Personaly, im bi with a little more interest for women, especially when emotions are involved.
As for your question, i think that it would be ideal for u to find a fully supportive GG...then u can really be yourself ;)
What a great reply!!! I like females. Guys don't do anything for me (most of the time anyway) But I would really love to have a penis to play with other than my own!! I gave up ages ago trying to figure out what group I would fit in to and just be me. I think being a cd is about as confusing as it gets sometimes and any other issues, such as sexual prferences are just normal life issues.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danni Bear
My ideal choice?? Hhhhmmmmm to be me and not give a shit what anyone thinks (and they do the same)!!
I wish that there weren't labels like "gay" or "straight"! I like people, male or female, for the person that they are. If they are nice, then I usually am attracted to them. I don't really care what gender they are. Physically, I'll admit that I am attracted to a person that has feminine appearances and mannerisms on the outside. But if that person is great to be with, then when it comes time to "take off the pants" then I'm right there just to make that person happy!
Yeah, this is a tough question. I wish I could just change my life. We have all been dealt a tough hand. Well, I guess I'll speak for myself. My life has been very hard. I'm sure there are some people who have fully embraced their hand in life but I am not one of them. I think it would be easier to be gay though.
__________
When is the world going to be fully enlightened to the truth?
I can't really answer which is more of a hassle. I'm straight and like to dress up when I feel down in the dumps. I'm straight but am fascinated by she male porn. I fantasize about having sex with a she male. I guess its more important to being who you are. I'm straight, like she male porn, and like to wear women's clothes. I'm ok with this aspect of my life.
Labels are important. They define differences and that is a good thing, IF Used Properly. However, it is often the MISUSE of Labels that create problems. For the most part, Gay and Straight people are alike. We want to enjoy our lives, we want to find good and rewarding jobs and we want to be surrounded by welcoming and caring friends and relatives; to name just a few things. However, in some ways we are MARKEDLY different. For gay people, who we find physically and emotionally attractive, and who we want to form relationships with, is different. Because of this, our lives, job/careers, homes and religious affiliations may be particularly impacted. A label is merely shorthand and a rallying point for a particular set of characteristics, in a gross sense. It doesn't even imply that we are all exactly like the label. However, using a label in a divisive way is driven by ones desire to be divisive; not the other way around. If we did away with labels, I really doubt that all the people who desire to be divisive would suddenly go away.
I've had this discussion with several gay people. The only thing that's easier for gays is dating, there are plenty of places for gay folks to meet other potential partners. On dating sites, there's a category for men looking for men, and women looking for women, and there are lots of people there. For us, there's nothing; no crossdresser-straight girl dating sites, no crossdresser-straight girl clubs, nothing; the one site that advertises crossdresser dating is inhabited 99.9999% by men, with a few fake female profiles to get you to pay for membership, you'll get female emails expressing interest until you pay, then they disappear.
Basically, the gay girls feel I'm lucky to be a guy, so I can date all those beautiful straight women that they don't have access to. They don't seem to get the problem that 'all those beautiful straight women' don't want anything to do with a guy who feels like, and often dresses like, a girl.
Exactly!!! could not have said it better and I am a bi.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Sarab
[QUOTE=sometimes_miss;2349011]I've had this discussion with several gay people. The only thing that's easier for gays is dating, there are plenty of places for gay folks to meet other potential partners. On dating sites, there's a category for men looking for men, and women looking for women, and there are lots of people there. For us, there's nothing; no crossdresser-straight girl dating sites, no crossdresser-straight girl clubs, nothing; the one site that advertises crossdresser dating is inhabited 99.9999% by men, with a few fake female profiles to get you to pay for membership, you'll get female emails expressing interest until you pay, then they disappear.
While I generally agree with your comments about it being easier for Gay men to find dates and hookup places, I think that it should be mentioned that Craigslist, fwiw, does have m4t and t4m categories. I certainly understand that a lot of people are frightened by the possibility of something going bad from Craigslist, but it does exist with specific categories. Also, I have met other TV/CD girls, and men on both Alt and AFF. You might have to sift through a lot of dross to find the good ones, but thee are a few out there. These are, obviously, Meat Market sex sites, and I would agree that trying to find a transgender category on mainstream dating only sites, e.g. Match, POF, or Yahoo Personals is impossible.
Personally, I have no issue with anyone’s sexual likes as long as its legal…..
As for me, I do find the male body to be gross, especially hairy ones. My SO, does like to tell me fantasies about a man taking me when I am Maria and it DOES turn me on. However, I still do not see myself being with a man and I never looked at a man in a sexual way….
A feminine and passible CD or TG yes. I did play around with a TG about 12 years ago, she was HOT and extremely passible and we kept it to oral only.
Does this make me bi? The way I see it, I was with a hot woman with a big clitoris… I am attracted to most things feminine.
Maria
To be Gay or straight is not a choice. We are what we are.
I am bi also I love women and am totally attracted to them and everything about them but I like so many like to feel attractive and wanted also which only makes it natural for me to being attracted to being held and taken care of.
Basically those are for T girls (genetic/phenotype males and mtf transexuals) and such to meet men. There are no women looking for TG males or CD's. Zilch. I've done a search on every dating site I can find. I've run identical ads on other sites, one mentioning crossdressing, the other plain straight. On the plain ads, I get plenty of responses; that alone tells me that there's nothing else about me that is repulsive to women in general. But on any ad that mentions crossdressing, all the responses I get are men and prostitutes willing to sell me their services. That's it. The percentage of women that even might be interested in us is so insignificant that for all intents and purposes, it may as well be zero.Quote:
Originally Posted by StarrOfDelite
And it's not so much that we all need a woman to take interest, or participate in anything to do with our crossdressing; it's that it seems such a repulsive characteristic to the very vast majority of women, that it stops any relationship with us, dead in it's tracks. In this sense, being gay is a much better situation.
I've accepted that fact that being TG isn't necessarily connected to being gay. I have a couple of gay friends, and I've told them about this side of me and they still don't get it. In fact, they don't seem to care much. :straightface:
Ha, just as well......good friends they may be, I'm not attracted to them anyways. One of them takes the attitude that "a hard man is good to find".......good for him, I say. I'd rather be soft, and connect with the ladies. I can't speak for anyone else.
Lately I've been feeling more gay than ever and my attraction and love to masculinity is stronger than ever and the idea of intimacy with any feminine individual either GG or transgender is a major turn off.
What confuse me somehow is when I am attracted to masculinity is when I want to be the more feminine I can be and I am talking about the whole feminine identity
Quote:
Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ
Are you struggling with transsexual feelings?
I'm not ts but I kinda get what you mean though,although in drab I fancy CDs.when I'm femme though I tend to be attracted to more masculine men :)
I believe being a gay cd would be more publicly accepting/tolerated than those being straight cd. Being a gay man is not in the woodwork for me. I love women, especially my wife (who has no idea that I cd).
-Enchanting
Well I work with an openly gay fellow....nice enough guy, I suppose, and totally open about his sexuality. No one seems to have a problem with it. If I was to come out as a crossdresser, however....the earth would stop rotating, the building would fall over, peoples heads would explode, etc. So I would imagine it's just easier all around if you're not a crossdresser, no matter what your preference in the bedroom is.