When NOT to wear pretty shoes - an advice, shopping, and flying thread.

That most unpleasant of feelings, when the stars seem to be aligning in our favor, only to have something come up and conspire to take it away. The feeling that I get when that happens, albeit it happens rarely, is something I'm feeling at this very moment for you having read this last post.

And wow, the places you go, the people you see, the things you dare to do...I can't help but think you are light years ahead of the most I might consider doing short of full-on coming out. Still, my head says you made the right decision in taking off the girl while my heart says...well, you know ;)!!!

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

As I was leaving, the booth coordinator ran to me and thanked me profusely for helping them out. It's funny - you could tell the exact moment that she noticed the eye makeup. Her speech faltered for a moment, and I could track her eye movements going from one pretty eye to the next.

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The moment...it's something my friend Diana calls the "a-ha" moment. Totally thought of her when you described this interaction. Can't wait to hear about the next time the two of you talk.

BTW, given the wasted opportunity you describe, well there's this little event coming up in Vegas in early April...aw never mind, I won't bug you!

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

When I got there, One lady looked surprised to see me, and the other looked disappointed that I wasn't dressed as Kathi.

It's funny - you could tell the exact moment that she noticed the eye makeup.

but I just love freaking people out. You get soooo many different reactions - from the baffled husband/smiling wife to the raised eyebrows of a grandfatherly type, to a young girl who took hers out, smiled at me, and freshened her lips up as well.

Kathi

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So Kathi, between these stories and the neighborhood pilot wives...who are you not out to? I so enjoy your stories, please don't stop letting us know what is going on in your life.

Hiya Kathi,
Great story and filled with lots of fun! In your last message to me (commenting about my day as "Executive Lady" at a local tech conference) you had mentioned your upcoming plan to be a "Booth Babe" at CES and I am just delighted to enjoy your sharing of that experience. I also look forward to enjoying descriptions of your experiences on the expo floor. What was it like for you to interact with visitors at your expo booth? My own experience was thrilling enough but I mostly blended in with the mass of people that attend workshops and expo events, however, your experience put you right in the spotlight of affirmation and validation of who you are! I would love to meet you sometime at a tech event and spend a special "Girls time out" for coffee, tea, or something ...stronger.... We could entitle our story as "When Booth Babes Meet Expo Babes" ;-) Hugs, Catina

great story!!!
i'm sorry that you couldn't fly back home "enfemme" but i'm some way, you were lucky enough that you weren't called 1 hour later, when you would have been already at the booth, but dressed completely as Kathy and having a little girly chat with the girls.

that would have been a much difficult situation with no easy way out!!!

P.S: just for the record..... boys some times do notice some make up................... a year or so ago, i was paying a football match (aka soccer ) just after spending that afternoon dressed, and one of my buddies says: hey! what have you done with your eyes? there's something about them...... i didn't know what to say for a second..... but then i tell something that it must be the anti-aging cream that i was using, that it puts some weird look after you apply it for a couple of hours if you don't blend it well.

and that was all, nothing else was ever mentioned...... at least till today.

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Originally Posted by Sara Jessica

BTW, given the wasted opportunity you describe, well there's this little event coming up in Vegas in early April...aw never mind, I won't bug you!

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Do it! :cheer:

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Originally Posted by Christie ann

So Kathi, between these stories and the neighborhood pilot wives...who are you not out to? I so enjoy your stories, please don't stop letting us know what is going on in your life.

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Ooooohhhh Kathi! Someone is keeping notes on you. Good ones it seems too!

Awesome story! Thanks again :)

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

. . . This time due to my inexperience, I kind of shrunk into myself . . .

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Really? REALLY?! You spent the entire day chatting it up with everyone, being very open and forthcoming about what you are, and you feel like you were "Shrunk into yourself". . . Lady, it sounds to me like you were a veritable social butterfly! lol
Apparently you didn't read any of the posts I made offering advice on flying pretty, because over and over I warned people to be SURE that their shoes were gonna be comfortable enough for a long day with a lot of walking! LOL
I DO believe you about those shoes by the way. My two most comfortable pair of shoes are 4 inch stilettos too.
I have driven through Vegas countless times but never spent any time there, and definitely not as Kim. :(
I would sure love to though and I hope that you have a ball!

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Originally Posted by TxKimberly

. . . Lady, it sounds to me like you were a veritable social butterfly! lol

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Well, Kim - that's just it. For me, that level of reduced interaction was shrinking into myself. When I'm comfortable, I am talking to everyone! No one is ever left out of a conversation. I am a social animal. Why do you think that they fly me - our company's über-geek - to CES? Because I can not only speak fluent geek to the technical elite, but I can usually charm the masses better than our marketing weasels. Our PR people (heck, even our CEO) basically lead the people to me, step back and let me go! :)

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Originally Posted by TxKimberly

. . . over and over I warned people to be SURE that their shoes were gonna be comfortable enough for a long day with a lot of walking!

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A long day of walking, yes. I can comfortably spend all day clicking around the tile floors of a mall carrying multiple shopping bags in these wonderful shoes. All day trudging through airports with my laptop bag, purse, and a large suitcase with heavy devices (and not a few clothes!) that has the older tiny wheels? Not so much. :)

Kathi

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

. . . A long day of walking, yes. I can comfortably spend all day clicking around the tile floors of a mall carrying multiple shopping bags in these wonderful shoes. All day trudging through airports with my laptop bag, purse, and a large suitcase with heavy devices (and not a few clothes!) that has the older tiny wheels? Not so much. :) . . .

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LOL I hear ya sister, I hear ya!

Dear Kathi you made one week of this ohhhh so slow year fly by (pun intended) for me. I am sitting here listening to Michael Buble, sipping my twinnings English tea with a huge smile on my face and a warm glow in my heart.

I feel this way not because of your fabulous tales of shoes, fashion, nails or makeup. We know that your sense of style and class go almost unmatched. I am smiling because the lady known as Kathi truly knows how to make her way in the world, knows who she is and is at peace with that role in the world.

Your comments and conversations that you shared with us are proof that you are you. You love and accept who you are and the world follows suit. Your post is a testament to the fact that the world would be such a better place if we didn't have to be a woman and we didn't have to be a man. Perfection is just being a person expressing themselves regardless of gender.

You said that the time we get to express who we are is not an earth shattering moment of destiny. I think perfect moments of being are our destiny. I think you know this deep down inside because you display it with a comfort and confidence that warrants applause or at least a hug.

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Originally Posted by Sara Jessica

...I can't help but think you are light years ahead of the most I might consider doing short of full-on coming out. Still, my head says you made the right decision in taking off the girl while my heart says...well, you know ;)!!!

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Sara you are right our heart never wants to take off the girl, but do we really ever take it off? Especially Kathi, because she sure sounds like she hasn't perfected the art of the emergency female jettison. I just think her heart wasn't in it. :heehee:

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Originally Posted by Sara Jessica

BTW, given the wasted opportunity you describe, well there's this little event coming up in Vegas in early April...aw never mind, I won't bug you!

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I know its boorish to invite ones self and I can't make it for this years event. Do you two think we could work out a girls trip for 2012. It would give me almost 6 months to re perfect my shopping skills and work on getting over my PDWSDD...(Pretty Dress While Shopping Distraction Disorder). I have a lot of work to do in order for me to keep up with you two! :hugs:

Kathi thanks again for sharing this tale. I know you enjoy telling it, but we enjoy hearing it even more. :daydreaming: Ohhh and I know that you enjoy us enjoying you telling us of your adventures and your enjoyment brings us more joy which I know brings you more joy which makes us....Ohhh heck I cant wait for the next Ms. Lake adventure.

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Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

Dear Kathi you made one week of this ohhhh so slow year fly by (pun intended) for me.

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Kathi, we owe it to Suzanne to keep the faith and do our part to keep her spirits afloat during the coming year. I know you're up for the challenge, as am I. Anything for a dear friend.

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Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

Sara you are right our heart never wants to take off the girl, but do we really ever take it off? Especially Kathi, because she sure sounds like she hasn't perfected the art of the emergency female jettison. I just think her heart wasn't in it. :heehee:

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No, we don't take it off because she's always there. How can we describe it? Full time at heart, part time in presentation? Regardless, these little exposures of our inner beings can be most difficult, mostly because, speaking for myself, i'm not so sure my inner circle is ready for this side of me. Yet the elephant in my room remains very well fed and groomed. She is becoming more vocal and way too pretty for her own good.

So I do stand by Kathi's decision to take off the outer shell despite how much fun it would have/could have/(perhaps) should have been. The shockwaves would have reached the home front and that might not have been so good.

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Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

I know its boorish to invite ones self and I can't make it for this years event. Do you two think we could work out a girls trip for 2012. It would give me almost 6 months to re perfect my shopping skills and work on getting over my PDWSDD...(Pretty Dress While Shopping Distraction Disorder). I have a lot of work to do in order for me to keep up with you two! :hugs:

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Ummm, yes, I know we can work it out for 2012. And don't even worry about getting over PDWSDD, it comes over me at times as well. Now if Kathi commits....holy $@*# (emphasis on the "$") ...Vegas, look out!!

Thank you so much for this story, Kathi. I think this quote will be the biggest inspiration for me.

Monica

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Gender is irrelevant. Sex is irrelevant. What is relevant is, as Sara wonderfully put it, that moment of "being." No matter how my feet hurt. No matter how self-conscious I was, being out among the people dressed exactly as I wanted to be (and it was a double-whammy - not only was I flying dressed as a woman, but I was in a skirt as well! :)). How could I be anything but happy. Was it fulfilling my destiny or something else quite so earth-shattering? No. But those "normal" little moments of being, where you are doing what you feel you were meant to do, are enough for me.

Kathi

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Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

. . . sipping my Twinings English tea with a huge smile on my face and a warm glow in my heart.

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English Breakfast? Earl Grey? Which is your favorite? My wife loves the stuff! Me? I think it tastes like weed water. The only tea I'll drink is sweet tea. I dump so much sugar into it that my wife calls it 'brown Kool-Aid." You almost need an insulin chaser with it. Ah well, such is the life of a human hummingbird. :)

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Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

I am smiling because the lady known as Kathi truly knows how to make her way in the world, knows who she is and is at peace with that role in the world.

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Awwwww. It only took me 47 years or so to learn to be that way. Sure, there are times when I may want a bit more, but those have diminished while the contentment with my current situation increases.

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Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

You love and accept who you are and the world follows suit.

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Well, it had sure better accept me! :) It's true. I realized that to truly love others, I must first love myself. That was hard after a lifetime of rejection and humiliation.

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Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

You said that the time we get to express who we are is not an earth shattering moment of destiny. I think perfect moments of being are our destiny. I think you know this deep down inside . . .

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I do. Being me just comes naturally, I guess. Good thing, too! :)

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Originally Posted by Sara Jessica

Kathi, we owe it to Suzanne to keep the faith and do our part to keep her spirits afloat during the coming year. I know you're up for the challenge, as am I. Anything for a dear friend.

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You know it, sister! operation Personal Reminder of Everything That The Young Lass needs (Operation PRETTY Lass) is so on! Suzanne, you have people here that will constantly reminding you that you are in our hearts, and reminding you one reason why you fight. :)

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Originally Posted by Sara Jessica

She is becoming more vocal and way too pretty for her own good.

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Like I said before, I wouldn't mind the elephant in the room so much if only she didn't incessantly belt out showtunes!

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Originally Posted by MonicaTC

Thank you so much for this story, Kathi.

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Monica, I'm so glad that you found something worthwhile amidst all the flotsam and jetsam and tales of shopping, flying, and other boring stuff. :)

Kathi

Kathi, you are an amazing person and a very skilled writer as well. I do hope that you are keeping a diary. Your life could be a significant example for countless thousands who for lack of your courage sit in their rooms filled with longing and hope. It could be the book that lauched a CD revolution in America.
Well, reading your life adventures is like watching a good movie--you wonder where the time has gone, and are truly sad that there isn't more (at least for now). I did read this all in one go. You have a really great narrative gift and it shouldn't go to waste.
I look forward to more. It goes without saying that your pictures are amazing. It looks as though you've done this before.

So last night I'm sitting in a Starbucks reading this, wondering what everyone is thinking as I absolutely cracked up when I read this...

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

You know it, sister! operation Personal Reminder of Everything That The Young Lass (Operation PRETTY Lass) is so on! Suzanne, you have people here that will constantly reminding you that you are in our hearts, and reminding you one reason why you fight. :)

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Operation PRETTY Lass it is!!! So let this segue into a little message for Suzanne. Diana walked in as I was reading Kathi's post and she sends her heartfelt greetings and well wishes.

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Like I said before, I wouldn't mind the elephant in the room so much if only she didn't incessantly belt out showtunes!

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Isn't that a pain? She's not only there but she can be really loud sometimes. I'd sigh but she's my elephant and I have no choice but to take full responsibility for her.

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Originally Posted by busker

...It could be the book that lauched a CD revolution in America.

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I can see it now, the WH/BM internet sensation who was unfairly denied the grand prize to best-selling authoress, Kathi Lake, next Oprah!!!

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Originally Posted by busker

Your life could be a significant example for countless thousands who for lack of your courage sit in their rooms filled with longing and hope.

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Busker, everyone has the voice of courage inside of them. Everyone. We all also have the voice of fear inside of us as well. What we need to do is choose which voice to listen to. I've never been a fan of self-help books, as all they really do is tell you what you already know. So writing, for me, is out. As my daughter today told me as she groaned at one of my latest puns, "Dad, not everyone always laughs at your jokes." I said, "Kate, that doesn't matter to me. I'm not trying to make the world laugh. I'm trying to make me laugh. If someone else finds humor in it, then more's the better!" The same can be said of this. I'm not trying to impress people here with my little trips, I'm trying to impress me. If someone else finds a little encouragement (or humor) along the way, more's the better. :)

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Originally Posted by busker

It looks as though you've done this before.

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Dressed? Yeah, maybe once or twice. :)

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Originally Posted by Sara Jessica

I can see it now, the WH/BM internet sensation who was unfairly denied the grand prize to best-selling authoress, Kathi Lake, next Oprah!!!

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Do I have to go on Oprah?! She strikes me as a tiny bit egotistical. I mean, it's one thing to have your own magazine, but to be on every cover?! Hmmmm, hubris, anyone?

:)

Kathi

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Busker, everyone has the voice of courage inside of them. Everyone. We all also have the voice of fear inside of us as well. What we need to do is choose which voice to listen to. I've never been a fan of self-help books, as all they really do is tell you what you already know. So writing, for me, is out. As my daughter today told me as she groaned at one of my latest puns, "Dad, not everyone always laughs at your jokes." I said, "Kate, that doesn't matter to me. I'm not trying to make the world laugh. I'm trying to make me laugh. If someone else finds humor in it, then more's the better!" The same can be said of this. I'm not trying to impress people here with my little trips, I'm trying to impress me. If someone else finds a little encouragement (or humor) along the way, more's the better. :)

Dressed? Yeah, maybe once or twice. :)

Do I have to go on Oprah?! She strikes me as a tiny bit egotistical. I mean, it's one thing to have your own magazine, but to be on every cover?! Hmmmm, hubris, anyone?

:)

Kathi

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Kathi, I kid you not - I REALLY like you! LOL

self help. it could be the adventures of.... It could also be informative reading for the general public. Dare I say , a learning tool. In any case, we all enjoy your travels and narratives, so keep writing here anyway.

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Originally Posted by TxKimberly

Kathi, I kid you not - I REALLY like you! LOL

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And I like you, Kim!! Every time I see your signature, "Howdy, damn it!" it just cracks me up! I can totally imagine you saying it to someone who is, shall we say, 'less then impressed' by your Kimberly-ness. :)

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Originally Posted by busker

. . . It could also be informative reading for the general public. Dare I say, a learning tool.

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All right! I'll think about it, OK? :)

Kathi

well done Kathy, great story. It seems very interesting how different our experiences can be. I was on an airplane only one time, that was in November 2010, a flight from Orlando to DC. I can relate to most of what you said - sorry, I just couldn't write so many details as you did. Prior to fyling, I've had so many experiences out & about, and of course, TxKimberly gave me some advices beforehand.
To me, it was fairly intersting to watch that people didn't really take too much notice of me, I didn't feel like I had to explain anything to anyone. It was just me at the airport and on the plane. Obviously I stood out a bit, wearing a black pleated mini skirt and and businesslike - but sexy - outfit with high heels. I could sware, many people didn't even realize my real me.

Guess I'll do this again very soon....
Guess

Kathi,

I loved reading the adventure. It gives those of us who are still in the early stages of the journey, the reassurance that going public is not as bad as we fear.

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Originally Posted by faltenrock

. . . sorry, I just couldn't write so many details as you did.

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Don't be sorry. I'm the verbose freak! :)

Seriously though, next time you do fly, be sure to tell us all about it! Sharing our adventures is a big part of the support this place provides to us all.

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Originally Posted by Explorer

. . . It gives those of us who are still in the early stages of the journey, the reassurance that going public is not as bad as we fear.

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Explorer, it's not as bad as we fear (is anything ever?). Honestly, I've had nothing but positive responses - and this is Utah!

:)

Kathi

You going to be a booth babe at next year's show?? Stillettos for 8 hrs on an exhibit floor would be a killer!

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Originally Posted by Cathypb

You going to be a booth babe at next year's show?? Stillettos for 8 hrs on an exhibit floor would be a killer!

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Booth babe, yes. Stilettos, no. Sure, we have thick carpet and nice padding, but I don't think that stilettos would be good for that long. Plus, I don't believe that my company is ready to be represented by Kathi just yet.

:)

Kathi

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Plus, I don't believe that my company is ready to be represented by Kathi just yet.

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With the operative word being yet.

Just sayin' :)

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Originally Posted by Sara Jessica

With the operative word being yet.

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You know, it's odd. It's a large company (and by large, I mean around 50,000). They have Diversity Days, Diversity Councils, Diversity-Everything. Yet I have to wonder, how would they take diversity that so diverse (at least in today's society), that even they have to step back and go, Hmmmm."

All I know is that I love my job and I'm not about to risk it. If that makes me a coward, then so be it. The revolution will have to do without me.

:)

Kathi

I would never suggest you would, could, or should risk anything. Well, maybe could because any of us could do anything we please. I go back to your family as the touchstone for all things Kathi. You have balance that many of us on the middle path can only dream of. I think of crossing lines that could upset that balance. Less worried about work, more concerned about keeping the home-fires burning brightly.