Bisexuality & Crossdressing

I like the word heteroflexible. I have often fantasizewd being a lady with a gentlman, so I guess bicurious. But, i have had many near meetups, where i chickened out or got wise, at the last minute, or else, the guy chickened out. If i finally do meet a man, i hope for a patient, flexible admirer, if there are any. I always wanted a certain type of woman, but, up till now, i don't have anything to offer, but friendship, and I have met lots of women, who just don't want or need a man, anymore. Part of me really likes being wanted, as a lady, because as a guy, no women seem at all interested! At least, all dressed up, as a pretty lady, lots of guys are interested!

I'll use the old joke, I'm trisexual, I'll try anything once, more if I like it.

I know that my sexual fantasies were always of me as a woman, with a woman, So yes, I'm gay, I'm a Lesbian.
Of course, if my partner is really eager, I can enjoy sex as a man with a woman too (though I have to really fantasize the scene above to reach orgasm).
So that would make me bisexual.

I came out 12 years after I gave up drugs and alcohol. However, I suspect that if I had been able to come out and be accepted by the gay community as a CD/TG/TS and had found a nice lover, I could have enjoyed sex with a man too.

The nice thing about men is that it's much easier to find people in the gay community who want to have sex with a TG/TS, than it is to find women in either a straight community or gay community who want to initiate and seduce a TG/TS who is a bit shy. And I know from painful experience, that you have to be willing to take a LOT of rejection to try and make passes at gay or straight women as a TG/TS. Lesbians don't want a man, Straight women want a "real man". Bisexuals are afraid to accept your offers because once they are marked as bisexual, they would have a harder time finding and keeping either a straight or lesbian lover.

I've had 4 experiences with men, and all were not very pleasant. The first was a close friend who I knew was gay. He wanted to "turn" me gay. He was so aggressive it was more like a rape, and I ended it by "accidentally" honking the horn of my car in front of his house. The second had been working out and smelled horrible, but didn't want to take no for an answer. I was able to negotiate down to a hand job. The only time I gave oral I almost threw up all over him (gag reflex). The last one wanted me to dress him up and dominate him. Unfortunately he smelled really bad too. I was able to get him off with my magic wand.

If I had met a man who was handsome, gentle, smelled nice, was clean, and was willing to treat me like a lady, would I have been receptive to his advances? I think I might have been very receptive. Today, I'm married and have no desire to stray. In many ways both of my wives were very masculine.

In Femme mode, I'm much more aware sensually, more receptive, and more easily stimulated.

In drab mode, nearly all touch is an assault on the senses. Everything either tickles, hurts, or just annoys me.

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Originally Posted by MsJanessa

I'm bi--I prefer feminine men, girls like me, and ggs--not into uber masculine types

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I'm exactly the same way!

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Welcome Paulette! CDing spans the range of sexuality here (and everywhere else), so no worries! :)

I'm curious though. Are you attracted to both men and women no matter how you're dressed, or is it more an attraction to women when you're in guy mode, and an attraction to men when you're in girl mode?

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i would like to weigh in on this. i guess you could consider me bi, although all but one of my mm experiences were with me in guy mode. for women most of mine were in guy mode. the sexual attraction has nothing to do with me being dressed. haven't been seeking either m or f partners lately, since i've really been into being cassandra whenever i can. it's odd how that happened that once i was more into being cassandra, my desire for playmates has diminished. but if i did find playmates that i was compatible with, either m or f, being dressed would be only something that would happen if they were into it. i would tell them about cassandra, but would not expect them to be intimate with me while i was cassandra

While i consider myself to be bi i'm really not attracted to men outside of being in the bedroom while in fem

I'm only bi when in female mode. :2c::battingeyelashes:

I'm monogamous, anything else is moot.

Honestly, I think FAR more people are bisexual than they let themselves believe.

This includes people who identify as being gay.

These days there's too much of being on one team or another and in order to not deal with the social consequences, they put walls up and simply never address it.

And, the louder someone proclaims themselves as being one way or another, the harder they're forcing those walls to stay in place.

Personally, I'm probably bi, but the gender identity thing being kept in the closet makes things really cloudy.

In the end, I don't like to define myself by sexuality. I'm a human being and what happens, happens.

Better to be true than to force yourself to be whatever you think it's best for you to be.

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Originally Posted by LilSissyStevie

I'm monogamous, anything else is moot.

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I LOVE this! Perfect! :D

i'm a bisexual, have been most of my life. only recently i started crossdressing. for fun . its the most relaxing part of my day. i don't let what i'm wearing controll who i'm attracted to. single right now and not really looking for anybody. but when i am ready to start a new relationship i have no idea if it will be male or female, or trangender. love is a funny thing. just fallow you intincts and hopefully you'll end up with someone specail.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Here we go again. Some members have already reported your post for its skewed views. But, it is your opinion such as it is and so your post stays. :rolleyes:

Honestly, don't you get tired of making the same broad brush comments, and getting shot down by the membership here?

To the newbies ... not to worry, Sean is harmless. He comes in here every few weeks/months or so, spews the same rhetoric, gets shot down for applying his theories to *all* CDs, and then he goes away for a little while.

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You think thats bad. I know a CD that thinks that any MtF CD that likes women while dressed is a freak and she wants nothing to do with them. They are also freaks for talking to gay men.

I love ramen noodles.

I fit in with just about everyone here. I have a male friend that I am very close to but in our discussions over the years he looks down on men in women's clothes. I would love for him to know about Kitty as a friend. LOL It is hard to separate feeling when the little head is doing the thinking. :)

Kitty

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Originally Posted by DebbieL

If I had met a man who was handsome, gentle, smelled nice, was clean, and was willing to treat me like a lady, would I have been receptive to his advances?

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Sorry he's taken! You just described my BF.

I just don't understand bisexuality having anything to do with what you are wearing at the time. That sounds like a fetish to me. It seems like if you are a heterosexual male that thinks women should be with men then it is the HETEROSEXUAL MALE in you that is saying that when YOU are dressed like a woman, you should also be with a man.

This makes sense to me. Suddenly taking supreme interest in the same sex when you put on a dress does not. It just sounds like you are "one upping" yourself on how much of a woman you can be in your mind.

Bisexuality means that you are attracted to both genders AT ALL TIMES! It doesn't mean I suddenly wear a hat and I am turned on by women. But, I think a fetish would justify that.

This also raises further implication on monogamy. If you don a dress and are into men, where does your SO fit into the equation? That's not bisexuality. I'm bisexual 24/7 365...in a dress...on a plane...on a boat...it doesn't matter. I am monogamous to my SO because my sexual orientation isn't changing suddenly when I am with him.

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Originally Posted by LilSissyStevie

I'm monogamous, anything else is moot.

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AGREED! I think this is how bisexuals get a bad track record with being promiscuous at every turn. The last guy that found out I was bi said, "Bi girls are great...they're the perfect threesome buddies!" Are we REALLY?!? Last time I checked, I would clock someone upside the head that hit on my SO...don't think it makes me the best "threesome buddy."

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Originally Posted by Shananigans

Bisexuality means that you are attracted to both genders AT ALL TIMES!

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Oh oh, now I have to change my answer. There are days I am not attracted to either :) Honestly it fluctuates and although I love women almost in any form, guys have to be "special" like April's BF.

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Originally Posted by seanmuscle

All Cds are either gay, bi, or bicurious because CDs are women born in a mans body. They have a feminine personality and enjoy presenting themselves as a woman. it is every CDs dream to be one of the girls and talk about clothes, gossip and men. To be kissed by a tall prince charming is a CDs fairy tale ending. It turns her into the princess she has always wanted to be. When a CD gets affirmation as a girl it sets her female side free....

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I can't decide whether Sean's a closet case, wannabe, admirer who doesn't know it yet, or just a bigot whose dogma will not allow him to question his beliefs. Any time someone lards up an opinion with "all" or "every", illogic alert! He obviously doesn't know many people like us, or he would realize the absurdity of his absolutes. I've known CDs who are so raging femme that Tinkerbell would blush, others who clearly are regular guys in a dress for a while, and every shade of gray in between. I've posted elsewhere about the anomalous brain-wiring theory of how this happens to some males, and I like that theory because it readily explains all the variations of gender and sexuality that are grouped by society under the TG umbrella term.

But really, Sean, this is hardly an appropriate forum to air stereotypes and absolutes.

Sean is what call a troll. Gets off on us reacting. Stop feeding the troll and it will go away.

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Originally Posted by seanmuscle

All Cds are either gay, bi, or bicurious because CDs are women born in a mans body. They have a feminine personality and enjoy presenting themselves as a woman. it is every CDs dream to be one of the girls and talk about clothes, gossip and men. To be kissed by a tall prince charming is a CDs fairy tale ending. It turns her into the princess she has always wanted to be. When a CD gets affirmation as a girl it sets her female side free....

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You appear to be grossly misunderstanding the difference between transvestism and transsexualism.

While being kissed by a tall prince is a fairytale ending, I'm fairly sure each and every person has there own fantasies and equally personal reasons for taking time to express themselves in such ways, I doubt they can be so predefined as you suggest.

I agree with Shanans point of view. I don't think clothes meant for a specific gender role act as an on and off switch for sexuality. Imagine if they were though!

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Originally Posted by Lacey-D

I agree with Shanans point of view. I don't think clothes meant for a specific gender role act as an on and off switch for sexuality. Imagine if they were though!

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Exactly. Clothes have Nothing to do with sexuality. Gender has very little to do with sexuality, or we wouldn't have gay people!

I thought this is what CDs get on little stomping fits about anyway. How many times have I heard, "JUST BECAUSE I CD DOES NOT MEAN I AM GAY!" Now, it's "only when I CD am I gay."

Good grief...

I'd say every gay or bi person (every straight person for that matter) identified with their sexual orientation at a very young age, even if they did not accept it. It does not matter if I am naked, or dressed up like Dorothy...I am bi. There is no running from it.

Now, sexuality is very complex. If you dress up and get into kinkier things and want to experiment. There's a few words for that behavior...fetish...experimentation...etc. But, it's not bisexuality...not unless you could be attracted to that certain group of people no matter what you are wearing.

Maybe this is why the gay community is getting so mad at CDs and stopping drag shows in gay bars. They don't want the association of clothing with sexuality. I thought CDs were pretty much in agreement with this, but I guess not everyone is...

Well the the reason for being mad at DQ is they see DQ as some thing that gets mocked. They want to be taken seriously and DQ detract from that. Paraphrased from a gay man that hates DQ.

I agree with many of the points made here. 1. I am bi no matter where enfemme or guy mode. 2. i think as someone said most if not all people are bi to some extent or have at least thought about it at some time in their life. 3. the walls built up around being either sexuality are what homophobes are using to make the walls stronger and stronger.
I do believe that people are what they are because of being born that way, just like the majority of CD's, we are born that way.
So all in all I have a wonderful life. I enjoy the best of both worlds being a woman and a man, having enjoyed being with a woman and a man. I am married and believe in being faithful to my wife and that part of my past is past but does that change that I am not bi just because I don't take part in it? No I am still bi but because I love my wife I choose to be with her only.

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Originally Posted by niya blake

Well the the reason for being mad at DQ is they see DQ as some thing that gets mocked. They want to be taken seriously and DQ detract from that. Paraphrased from a gay man that hates DQ.

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I agree, but it also goes beyond that. The big bugaboo right now is the "T" is LGBQT. What does being TG have to do with sexual orientation? And, CDing is under the TG umbrella...what do clothes have to do with sexual orientation?

What we have been saying for years is that sexuality is NOT a choice. I can't choose who I am attracted to. I can't magically take off my hat and just be into men.

Then, there are the idiots that think lesbians are all "butch" or "bull dykes" because obviously how they dress is associated with their sexual orientation. But, when there are a huge number of people like me, they compensate and say, "Well, oh, she's a lipstick lesbian!" No. It's absolutely infuriating.

There are fewer and fewer TG friendly places to go, when usually they were gay bars. But, most gay men don't want to be associated as being CDs. As my gay friend said, "I'm gay. I like men. I don't like men in dresses. I don't like men with boobs. I like penis and I like a man dressed as a man." I was a little put-off by this statement and thought it was a little blunt. But, I see what he means. He doesn't want his sexual orientation associated with CDing and things CDs do...he gets enough flack for being gay. I kind of feel the same way...I get really sick of being the ***** and the threesome buddy because I am bi. I don't want people surprised that I look girly and am ladylike just because I like sn*tch. It's dumb.

In fact, I don't want ANY image, clothing, or action describing or attributed to my sexuality. Bisexuality pure and simple is just being attracted to both men and women. It really has nothing to do with CDing and it has no on and off switch. If it did, I would have found it when I was 12 and thought I was going straight to Hell...do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Hmm now here is a few questions if You are an MtF CD that likes women But you will date date other MtF Cd's doe that make you Bi ? If your a GG that dates women and CDs does that make you bi.

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Originally Posted by niya blake

Hmm now here is a few questions if You are an MtF CD that likes women But you will date date other MtF Cd's doe that make you Bi ?

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From the guys who have tried to hit on me the answer is no. At least as long as the wig and skirt stay on. When those come off....I tend to make guys suddenly Olympic track stars. It all has to do with the smoke and mirrors. It is like the T-shirt says "I am not gay but my boyfriend is"

(I like the name Shanan...:)) So anyway, I agree with what you say, but as we both know the members here do tend to have separate ideas especially when it comes to "Them" personally.

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Originally Posted by niya blake

Hmm now here is a few questions if You are an MtF CD that likes women But you will date date other MtF Cd's doe that make you Bi ? If your a GG that dates women and CDs does that make you bi.

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Well, going to the definition of bisexual...it just means that you are attracted to both men and women. CDing does not enter the mix. A common misconception when I look at porn is that pre-op TSs are a "bisexual fantasy." I have seen porn that had basically those titles. And, being intrigued, I clicked...and, it's a pre-op TS. Now, bisexuality means attracted to both men and women...a bisexual fantasy would not be someone with both genders wrapped up in one body. It doesn't do a whole lot for me because I am attracted to both men and women...not mixed genitalia. That is a different category and fetish all together that does not have anything to do with being bisexual. (That does not mean that I do not find TSs attractive, or that I would not date one. It just means that their mixed genitalia would not attraction factor for me personally. It would be pretty neutral. I'd be attracted to the fact that they are women. Vice versa for FTMs).

If you were a MTF CD that dates other MTF CDs, you might have a fetish...you might be acting out on gay fantasies, but staying "safe" in the heterosexual realm because the person is presenting as a woman. I don't really know. It's not for me to decide. But, I can tell you it's not really bisexuality unless you are attracted to that person when all the makeup and clothes come off. If you are a MTF CD that is attracted to other MTF CDs, but lose attraction once the makeup and clothes are off...I'd say it was a fetish. But, I'm not a sex therapist.

Same with a GGs that dates CDs. If you are just into the CDing as a kink and aren't really into GGs...I'd say it's a fetish. I think my SO is so f*cking sexy when dressed, and maybe it's a fetish. I don't really know. I do look at her dressed as a woman and I am still attracted when the clothes and makeup come off. I am not attracted to the fact that he is a "man in a dress." I see Cami as a woman. I see Ryan as a man. I am attracted to them both.

Therefore, I don't think I have a fetish towards my SO CDing. The fact that I see Cami as a woman and am attracted to her, may have something to do with bisexuality. The fact that I see Ryan as a man and am attracted to him also has something to do with my bisexuality. We are both pretty gender flexible and like to play around, so maybe we have other things on top of bisexuality. But, being bisexual in its simplest definition is attraction to both genders...not a gender all in one person...not mixed genders...not men in dresses...not women in pants. JUST an attraction to both genders.

Lorileah: I agree. Sexuality is so complex...CDing is so complex. Sometimes these conversation are never resolved. BTW, Shanan has been my nickname since I was like...3. :) I like it too

Well for me I'd date a GG other TS, CDs but a man . He would have to look pretty fem in boy mode for me . But the idea of strong masculine guy turns me off.

I have always been attracted to both genders for the most part. But I have to say that my attraction towards men intensifies when I'm dressed. When I'm not dressed, and hanging out with my friends, I'm chasing women and not thinking twice really about the guys in the room.

I might have a split personality though...who knows? :heehee:

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Originally Posted by niya blake

Well for me I'd date a GG other TS, CDs but a man . He would have to look pretty fem in boy mode for me . But the idea of strong masculine guy turns me off.

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Well, there are people who are "pansexual." This is probably more of what I am because I generally just say that I date people I am attracted to...it wouldn't matter if the person was TS, CD, GG, or GM. But, at the end of the day...I may not know you are TS or a CD. You would just look like an attractive man or woman to me. I wouldn't seek out to date someone who is TS or CD, because at the end of the day I would see you and treat you like the gender that you identify with...genitalia has little to do with it. Just like clothes have little to do with it. So, that's why I think bisexual fits me best even if I am open to people who may fall somewhere differently on the gender spectrum.

But, you know, you say a man would have to pretty feminine for you to be attracted to him. I think obviously you have preferences. It's kind of like the gay or lesbian thing...obviously, I am not attracted to ALL women and ALL men. I am attracted to very feminine women. I am also attracted to men that are kind of taller, leaner and athletic. I have preferences. But, at the same time, I would be open to getting to know and potentially dating someone that I was initially not very attracted to physically. There would obviously have to be SOME physical attraction there, or we would just be sexually incompatible. But, anyway...

Same for me as well I am bi get the best of both worlds :)

Well at the end of the day we are who we are. We like what we like. Labels are not really needed. Maybe the reason why so many of my trans friends are bi is cause once you through off when sett of shackles it's easier to through them all of. Or is it I'm just attracted to bi people.

Human beings need to touch the souls of other human beings. Sex is one of the ways we can do that. Our life programming creates preconceived barriers to whom we are going to allow to touch us. I am glad that I am touched and allowed to touch and am able to experience that profound closeness - although various nonstandard things are going through my head during the process.
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Cherish your many diverse opportunities to experience this.
-
Helen

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Originally Posted by niya blake

Well the the reason for being mad at DQ is they see DQ as some thing that gets mocked. They want to be taken seriously and DQ detract from that. Paraphrased from a gay man that hates DQ.

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Soccer mom question: I take it DQ is not Dairy Queen? No dipped cones today????

Spanks Mebbie. Dips her in ice cream.

I am bi. The only time I am ever with a man is when I am fully enfemme. Otherwise I have no desire for men.

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Originally Posted by karynspanties

I am bi. The only time I am ever with a man is when I am fully enfemme. Otherwise I have no desire for men.

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In guy mode, If i am honest, i am into both guys and girls. However, due possibly to society norms (or at least my parents expectations), I had many more experiences with women and only a few (awkward) experiences with guys.

In girl mode, however, I have little/no interest in women. Just totally into guys. Bonus if they are clean cut and athletic.

Now oddly enough, I am not sexually interested at all in other CDs. Ever. I "guess" this all makes me bi, but I totally hate labels. I'm just me.

Yes I am bi. I had the chance to be with guys in some type of girl mode and they just go nuts over it believe me the explosion is big. guys really do want to please.

I have to say I'm really glad that this topic was introduced. Terminology aside, I had always thought that I was an extremely rare case for the way my brain is configured sexuality-wise. I (we) may still be, but I really didn't think I would meet more than a couple of other people that were on the same page on the boards. What a relief!

I am sexual. Period. Whether its bi- metro- omni... doesn't matter to me.

From the responses it looks like a lot of you have bisexual feelings when dressed. I seem to be in the same boat, but there have been only two same sex encounters in my life. However, there were other situations that could have let to actual encounters. My opinion is if one fantasizes having a same sex encounter enough, they will eventually take the next step to make it happen. "Bi-curious" seems to be a growing trend. Some will remain curious while others will take the next step - enfemme or not.

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Originally Posted by Julie in Virginia

In guy mode, If i am honest, i am into both guys and girls. However, due possibly to society norms (or at least my parents expectations), I had many more experiences with women and only a few (awkward) experiences with guys.

In girl mode, however, I have little/no interest in women. Just totally into guys. Bonus if they are clean cut and athletic.

Now oddly enough, I am not sexually interested at all in other CDs. Ever. I "guess" this all makes me bi, but I totally hate labels. I'm just me.

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I tend to have the same tastes as you as far as being attracted to men, women and other CD's in the abstract sense. I am sure that my preferences are based more on psychological conditioning than anything else. In the final analysis I am wearing a masculine body wrapped around an ambivalent mind, so why should it make any difference what clothes either my partner or I are wearing when we begin the mating ritual. The object is to wind up naked, isn't it?

Although I've had minimal sexual intercourse with women for several years, in my own mind I believe that I can enjoy almost any type of physical contact with a compatible human being, from touching fingers to kissing to exploring the positions of the kama sutra, irrespective of his/her gender. So, I wonder why I'm influenced about choosing such a human being by reason of the clothes that we are wearing.

i am bi also. when i dress i like men and other girls like us. no excuses i am bi.

I am very bi curious. But, it would have to be with a certain type of man. I wouldn't want to be with an overly aggressive hairy man.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Here we go again. Some members have already reported your post for its skewed views. But, it is your opinion such as it is and so your post stays. :rolleyes:

Honestly, don't you get tired of making the same broad brush comments, and getting shot down by the membership here?

To the newbies ... not to worry, Sean is harmless. He comes in here every few weeks/months or so, spews the same rhetoric, gets shot down for applying his theories to *all* CDs, and then he goes away for a little while.

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Could we work on increasing the interval?

I am like that too Cindarella. I am not attracted to hairy guys (I am not hairy) and prefer gentle guys also. But then, I also lie women who are not hairy and aggressive.

I feel that my sexuality is evolving... At the times in my life when I've been in a long-term relationship with women, I've been so much into that one individual woman (emotionally and physically) that I rarely glanced or noticed anyone else (male or female) while the relationship lasted.

I crossdressed a few times with one of my long term girlfriends, but she reacted more lustfully to me in guy mode than in girl mode, so that made it less fun for me to be girly when I was with her, thus lessening the frequency for me dressing up while I was in that particular relationship.

For casual dating, it's been amazing to me how strongly and suddenly my tastes could change from dating one individual to another.

When I put on my silky panties, then it greater intensifies my desire to be with other CD girls or men.

I guess that the two terms which better describe my own sexuality over the years as a whole would be "Pansexual" and "Bisexual".

My most frequent attractions have been for women, but I also have a powerful attraction for feminine males, specifically M2F crossdressers / transgendered, and also to aggressive soft butch genetic women (if those soft butch GG's have a cute face that I like).

It's confusing at times when I step back away from it to compare / contrast the different "objects of my affection" & lust, but while I'm with someone I usually am very blissful and enjoying the moment thoroughly.
:-)

xoxoxo
~ Danielle

I am bi sexual but it seem that I want a lot more body contact and kissing when I am dressed

Damn - "Who got to be in charge and set up the rules anyway?" I'm in a strong relationship "Hetro", but
I wish Bi was the norm. Or better yet, I wish there was not a norm. I wish that if we had shared feelings
about or with someone that we could be with that person and everyone was happy for us.

I guess I am bi-curious. On one hand, I often fantasize about having sex with men, yet I rarely if ever find men attractive. Rather, I am attracted to the idea of having sex with a man. I can go outside and find a girl attractive, but I don't notice men in the same way. On the other hand, I do tend to have an ideal man in mind whenever I fantasize, I just tend to focus on the body as opposed to what they look like. Sometimes I fantasize about being with a man as a woman, but since I don't know what it's like to be a woman, when I do fantasize about men, I picture myself either dressed as a woman (but still a man) or just as myself. What stops me from calling myself bisexual is that I don't know if I would ever find a man attractive in the same way I would find a woman to be attractive.

Hi there I am bi too. :)