Interesting. The definition I read was from Psychology today, maybe that magazine doesn't have all the details. Fetish it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple8229
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Interesting. The definition I read was from Psychology today, maybe that magazine doesn't have all the details. Fetish it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple8229
i agree that we are all different,and dressing,the more i learn,has as many stages and changes as does adolesence.i think we are all dicovering and nurturing another side of ourselves in different levels of maturity as the "new charactor".Alot of what i read describes these stages,but just like adolesence we are all going to go through different stages at different times,rates,and ending at different places.I was in the same stage of getting dressed,masturbating and being ashamed for a long time untill i met someone who supported me.now ive "moved levels"? i now worry about my outfit and makeup and hair and such to the point that sexual release isnt at the forefront of my endevors anymore.As far as degrading to women,well,i feel like i emulate women.I find myself jealous of their ability to express themselves through clothing and accesories,the ability to be surrounded by soft things that are pretty and soothing to touch...and the fragrances!There are a LOT of feminine atributes that men in our society arent able to openly enjoy,and it is arousing when we can.
When I was a teenager, I used to dress and "release" myself. But I didn't dressed just for the pleasure (at least at the beginning). I got dressed because I had an urge to feel more feminine, and when I got dressed, the arousal was a consequence, not the objective of getting dressed.
It was amazing for me how feminine I would feel and look (specially when I was much younger). Back then, I was extremely shy and with very low self esteem. I thought that no girl would ever love me, and this feminine version of myself was the closest I'd ever get to a girl. But all these thoughts came little by little.
But at the beginning, masturbation was a consequence, not the objective of dressing. And the arousal of dressing was simply higher than any other thing I have experienced at the time.
I also have to say that I'm happy this has changed. Self gratification can't be compared with really making love with somebody you love. My humble opinion is that self gratification is selfish, and I don't understand how can somebody say that masturbation is a substitute or a complement to normal couple relationships, because it's more convenient, or less trouble than synchronizing agendas with your SO. At least it's not the case for me.
I love how open and honest every one is one here. If I am totally honest, it was purely the clothes for me not the the model, specifically certain dresses and skirts. So I guess that is more a clothes fetish than CD, or am I wrong there? However that has evolved a lot as I have got older and I really enjoy expressing my femm side in girly clothes as much as anything else.Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple8229
In my youth this was most certainly a sexual thing. The clothing was stimulating and erotic (thank Playboy and the pinup girls for that) and developing sexually only increased that feeling. Later as I passed that stage of life the sexual component decreased and this inner need to express some hidden femininity increased. Now I rarely become aroused while dressing and it is not even a thought while I'm out. When we go shopping and to dinner my thoughts are on what I'm doing just as anyone else. Is this on sale, what do I want for dinner. My mind is not wrapped up in what I'm wearing, do I look sexy, do I feel sexy....just as yours aren't CindyO.
At the time when this was draped in sexuality, EVERYTHING was draped in sexuality for me. It was puberty, girls suddenly were attractive and everything made me horny.
I'll add to Purple8229's response to say there are non-sexual fetishes. It can also be a preoccupation, fixation, obsession, (a.k.a. strong psychological need). Have a look at the second definition at dictionary.com. I'll quote it for emphasis. Unfortunately most other dictionaries focus just on the "object".Quote:
Originally Posted by NCAmazon
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fetishQuote:
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion.
Kind of OT, but can you 'disable' it?
I mean, "I'm looking at earrings damnit, why are you popping up now? Totally inappropriate there so just go away for a while OK?"
Honestly it's a hinderance and I get pretty annoyed, if it had ears I would chew it out for a good while.
To attempt to be on topic:
I think I had some interest in sexy clothes when I first started, but I ran into a wall where I noticed that I was uncomfortable seeing myself as a man wearing them.
I haven't put on anything since and won't until I can do a proper complete transformation where at least I'll look somewhat less male.
Oddly enough release is just to handle the biological requirements of being male, I get nothing out of it but there are consequences if a man doesn't.
I totally relate with this. I feel so uncomfortable seeing a man in a dress in the mirror, I haven't dressed in a while. I wish I could find a good transformation service in my areaQuote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
Yep, thats what offen leads a dressing session to stop.Quote:
Originally Posted by PetiteDuality
I used to think why else would someone dress if they don't get off on it. I didn't get why I was ready about others who claimed they got no erotic ties to dressing. This experience gave me insight and some movement in that direction.
@brea i'm speaking in all realness you are one of the most beautiful girls i ever seen. i'm jealous!
Even without seeing myself I still know I'd look like a man, uncomfortable is a great word to describe it.Quote:
Originally Posted by PetiteDuality
Because of that I went into body maintenance and soul searching mode instead.
However, when I did try the clothes on I was physically aroused but still uncomfortable for the previous reason as well as it being pointless for other reasons.
The physical reaction is something I expediently want to do away with, any thought about making myself more feminine brings it up and god damnit it's ****ing annoying and again, pointless.
As for transformation services, I'd rather save up and buy stuff for myself and learn how to use it on my own.
Then again I'm poor so take that as you will.
Are you talking to me? Well thanks I guess lol... especially since it's your first post :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Tonya Caramel
When I first started to CD many years ago, it WAS very sexy to feel the soft clothes of a woman as I put them on, so yes, I would masturbate more or less to get everything back to normal so I could go on dressing. Does any of that make any sense??? As time went by, when dressing, it wasn't so much sexy any more but soothing, relaxing and feeling a whole lot better in the femme clothes.
Does any of that make sense??
Now, the clothes serves to make me very confortable and relaxed and I feel, when dressed, like I am what and who I am supposed to be.
Hi NCAmazon...
Wow...one could pyschologize this to death and there appear to be many takes on it. Too tough to explain it in a way that all will understand; maybe you are feeling that way? I have been dealing with similar feelings as you and I have been experimenting a little to work through those same feelings.
I am a decided closet dresser so I do not experience the free feelings outside the home; I am fine with that. I do similar things as you in that if I "finish" I tend to conculde my dressing session. In recent months I have remained dressed regardless of immediate negative feelings and just kept on with my day. It's tough but important for me to do this.
For me this scenario is not about emulating women or a woman's sexual drives but about being a male hetero dresser who experiences perhaps more sexual arousal from dressing than I want to.
If you would like to discuss further please feel welcome to send me a private message. We can share a few other thoughts on the topic.
Thanks for sharing this!
Veronica
To paraphrase the old Woody Allen line: It's safe sex with someone I love...Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamara Croft
Lots of men have solo "release".................... even when they're with their partner:heehee:
I too can relate to this. For a long time I had to make a positive effort to stave off the gratification moment because I wanted to enjoy the clothes for as long as possible before the inevitable happened and I then just wanted to get "back to normal". Eventually, though, I realised that I wanted to try to stay dressed for a much longer period in order to get to understand better what it is really like to go about everyday activities dressed in women's clothes. I often heard women complain about the difficulties, discomforts and restrictions their clothing imposed on them and I needed to find out whether I would feel the same way after the self-gratification had gone and I was doing "normal" things. The result: yes, I could see what those women meant. Some things were more difficult in a skirt; the bra could feel tight or limiting when reaching up to a high shelf; the girdle could pinch and the suspenders pull when trying to relax on the sofa.....but despite that, I still loved to be dressed that way....and my low point came when the time arrived to return to male clothes. Slowly, the gratification part diminished in importance but the feel of the clothes has never disappointed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Piora
Exactly!!! When I started experiencing with CD, I was really upset about feeling so aroused by wearing feminine clothes...Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Lacey