Was at a conference once and Sunday it was time to go. On of the "girls" I had been hanging with showed up at my door in full boy mode and it freaked me completely out. That's when I realized wow I had gotten to know this person totally en femme.
Was at a conference once and Sunday it was time to go. On of the "girls" I had been hanging with showed up at my door in full boy mode and it freaked me completely out. That's when I realized wow I had gotten to know this person totally en femme.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silentpartner GG SO
@ Silent Partner GG, what're you trying to say..something wrong with male brain wiring?? JUST KIDDING! My SO and I have fun with that all the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
@ whowhatwhen..interesting hypothesis, though not the case for me. Julie shows up with a vengeance about twice a year and I embrace her fully with daylong outings..but the other 350 days she is in remission to various degrees, sometimes completely absent for 6-8 months at a time (this is where things have settled out for me after many other phases of this more in tune with what many others describe here). In my case I guess I am an average guy who happens to have ..woman?..occupying a corner of my brain, and occasionally I step in there and assume that personality with all of the outward expressions that go with it.
So my question: would there be any interest in some kind of a poll about assuming or being in "femme mode", mentally and/or clothing wise, while posting on here? I would find that data really interesting, as for me this is not only a place to find support and understanding but also a place to read about a wide range of experiences and different ways of processing CDing, how it affects us, and what place it has in various people's lives. I find this helpful in getting my head around it for myself.
If there is enough interest, I would start a poll if I knew how to do it!
Most of the time in my real life, I'm fully dressed and living as a woman. I relate to the other members as women...I don't really think of myself as a male in this setting.
I view all the "ladies" posting here in this section as females. It's sort of a place like a lounge, where no matter what walk of life you have, when you come in here, it's where the girls hang out and talk about things.
Hi girls!
This is just one of those things where you have to respect how the CD person feels. If she recognizes herself as female then so be it. If not (like myself) then think of my writings as a guy.
For the most part, yes, I think of everyone here as being a woman.
I know that for myself I never come here as a male (be it drab or en femme). I'm always Cheryl here. Actually, I'm always Cheryl, just most of the time others can't see that.
After all, we are discussing things that are feminine in nature, clothing, deportment, makeup, etc.
I'm with Marleena with this one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marleena
Do You Think of All Crossdressing Members As Females While Posting On This Site?
No, I do not. But I always refer to others with their female names or pronouns as a simple act of courtesy.
Stephie
Do You Think of All Crossdressing Members As Females While Posting On This Site?
Yes I do...until I look at comments in the gallery, such as "omg you're hot" "you're so sexy" etc, then I see men posting, females just don't say things like that to each other.
Also don't forget the trans men, with them I see men when they are here on the site.
I kind of agree with this but with a caveat. I consider MOST of the members here to be men INCLUDING transmen*, but there are a few, some I know personally, some I know virtually, some I only know from this board, that strike me as a feminine presence and I can hardly imagine them as men. (hello April and Bree) Even Allie, who is a self professed CD (and I'm fortunate to know in person) doesn't not seem very mannish to me, even when she's in total drab. I have a hard time calling HIM anything but HER because she is a she, to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Katesback
I must have had my fantasy development stunted at a young age because I am keenly aware that it's generally a bunch of dudes inhabiting this board. Maybe that's why the lesbian, and bi when dressed remarks hit me so weird.
*an exception must be noted for Transmen. I am in awe of them. I have met several in person and those are dudes with absolutely no doubt. I don't know why but FtM guys are the real deal, and most of the MtF girls are not. One of my closest friends is a GG who CD's and her masculine energy is off the charts, (and hot). I tell her that she is more of a man than I ever was and it's absolutely true. Transmen are spectacular.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandra
'females just don't say things like that to each other.'
I thought lesbians did Sandra.:strugglin
Suzy, a lesbian trapped in a mans body?:heehee:
Suzy, please don't take offense but there is the constant comparison of CD's and lesbians around here as if they were somehow comparable.Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy1
Lesbians are not men in women's bodies. They are for the most part regular women who happen to love other women romantically. They think, act, and emote like their hetero sisters so when a straight woman says something about how women may "act" you can be safe in assuming that a lesbian falls into that behavior pattern as well. CD's do not speak for lesbians anymore than they speak for women.
No offence taken Melissa.Quote:
Originally Posted by Badtranny
My post was a bit light hearted, and typed by a rather simple minded girl… I mean lesbian…..I mean CD…..I mean………..
Suzy having fun.
So, kinda like e-fantasizing and not living out the real deal type thing eh?Quote:
Originally Posted by Badtranny
I'm not sure where the other stuff fits in though, bi when dressed is at least imo a lack of self acceptance.
That cursed faceless male strikes again!
He does have a nice body though...
I can only speak for myself but I try to think and post as I think that a lady would. There are times when certain posts have
a definite "male" feel to them.
I answered somewhat tongue-in-cheek before, although there is some truth to my feeling more masculine here than I do anywhere else. I suppose this is because I don't focus so much on clothes and appearance as many of the members here, or I don't do it in the same way.Quote:
Originally Posted by marym
But Marym's answer more accurately matches my deeper response to Piora's question. I don't tend to notice the avatars so much any more and I focus on the feeling I get from the posts. In some of the responses I see pure male, in others I see a more feminine energy (no matter how they identify), but for the most part I see the members here as people.
I tend to express myself as female as much as a male can. I am not overtly girly but I do like feminine outfits.
I reply to everyone as if they are female thinking although male humour must creep through now and then.
My aim in life is to pass and dress discreetly as a woman, so no extreme appearances for me.
I have enjoyed the female impersonator bit years ago as I looked good and could fool anybody as long as I did not speak.
I had fun at parties even if I didn't drink. It was un-nerving for some of the males who wanted to hit on me and some of the girls were jealous of the fact that I looked better than they did. If I went solo I would often take home the other un-attached girls after going out on the town till late.
My main feature was I did not drink and I was able to get sozzled girls home safely.:)
There is a pointer for younger non drinkers here. How to pick up GGs when dressed.
I still think women are the best thing since sliced bread.:)
This days i dont feel that dichotomy (swinging from guy to femme mode) as often as i use to. Whether dressed or not i feel am myself wen am chatting here i feel am chatting with pple that are mostly feminine and since i know how to chat with girls i just feel at home. In addition, here i can talk of all the things about what my femme side likes talking about stuff like fashion, make-up, outings ............how guys where looking at me when out dressed which i cant discuss with many-many pple i know, except here. Most of the pple here behave like girls, especially when there is a "cat-fight" yes most girls here know how to fight like teenage-girls.......lol!
Great subject, I view all members who post here as females, I don't really know why, but I always have felt that way. I guess that I think those who post are in female mode, of thought at least, when they reply or start a thread.
@RachelRene, I can understand your feelings completely. I have always been different, and have learned that it really is a good thing. What is different is when I post here, I can just be myself and not worry about being judged for who I am.
I have the greatest respect for all who reside here, most of the time I am on the road when I am able to reply to posts. I find it hard in the world that I work in to switch to a female roll when posting. I have to carefully rembember to not act like a guy when I see some of the pictures but I always know in my heart that we all are the same. We all live several lives, some in the self made closet in fear, some have managed to step out of the closet into the home with their SO,and those I respect the most are those that have become what they were destined to be. We all can hold our heads up high for even if you post in female with male undertones or your male self need some female guidence wer are all just friends seeking friends.
Best to all, yes I am posting in dirty jeans and a torn T shirt, but under all that I have the sweetest set of bra and panties on that I have ever owned and yes I feel HOT! Thank you very much! Sorry the guy slipped out, LOL
Love to all! Wonderwho
Categorically impossible for us to do so, Suzy! :hugs:Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy1
Yes, it is rather strange to try to get your head around, isn't it?Quote:
Originally Posted by MsArlene
Here's a thought: Suppose a large number of us on here - a group of, say 40 members (consisting of both closeted and out-to-the-world girls) were able to gather in a large room, in full femme mode, how would we all behave? Well, I think that we would all be trying to sit, walk, move around and even talk, as women. We would look at each other, and we would see women. I think that's how I would react and how I would behave around other CDs......members that I "know" from this site. Now, obviously groups of us on here have got together, and perhaps those members relate to my example, and could give us their input.
But, to me, even although I'm not in physical proximity to any member here, I still feel that I'm in the "presence" of those members when I post here. And so, I envision them as female, when I reply to postings.
The CD events that I have attended, all have been in greater Chicagoland, have been very nice, genial, with a great deal of chat, mainly politics, where/when did you start, you look nice, who is my makeup, and so forth. I have never encountered nastiness at any of these events.
Ok...you sent me back through my posts to see what the pattern is:
1) I post assuming that all transgendered persons here are involved with there feminine selves. That means different things to each of us but that gets translated on the receiving side (I hope). The GGs I expect are females :).
2) In some posts I speak about Tina just as I do from my male side speaking to my wife, as she does about Tina speaking to me.
3) In other posts I am speaking as Tina.
It looks like I started speaking only as Tina, but that got complicated because Tina's girlfriend is the en homme's wife. That can be a mess and it seemed important to identify the SO involved in the conversation so it was just easier to speak from my guy side about Tina. However, when I am Tina it is clear that it is Tina speaking!!!
I guess I'll have to rethink my posts here and look more carefully at who is speaking, but I'll still be speaking to the "en femme" in the crowd as transgendered and to the GGs as female! Seems about right!
:)
I imagine personalities with the postings and responses on this forum. Female and Male would certainly clutter the room. If everyone here
is not an original female, then certainly he is a uniquely inventive one........dana
dana is my real name...
Haven't really thought about it. I guess I think of the writers as their true sex since they are writing about their experiences as M to F crossdressers. Maybe it is because I've never thought of myself as a woman, but as someone with a fem lifestyle. I like being male and enjoy the looks, style, and clothes of women.
I hate TV...that's why I'm here. The only programs I watch are Mythbusters, NCSI, and CSI, and some news.
You folks are infinitely way more entertaining. Sure, I often dress in the clothes of not the gender I was born with, I'm not a fan of male clothes, they're boring and shapeless.
Come on SUGAR BABY ,,, Dont do me like that ,,, I think your hot & sexy too ,, Just becuz I like to dress like a lady dont meen I dont love the lady looks ,,Thats the reason Im like I am ,,,Dont want to look at no smelly ol stinky he man ,, The ladys are so pretty an smell good an look good ,,Ladys are all good an I love em everyone . So whan ya HOT ya HOT ,,, Call em like I see em ,,, Just a wanna be ,,,, SUPA STAR !!Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandra
I believe I picture each person here based on the way they write. I don't come in with any preconceived notions, so the person's feelings and writing style dictates which way my mind is taken. Some of it may be fairly neutral, but the main point is it isn't about gender, but the way everyone carries themselves.
When I log into this site I log in as female. If I am thinking otherwise, I don't even think about this site. Then again I am dressing in some way 24/7 and only come here when I have time.
I see crossdressers as crossdressers. I see transgender people as transgender. People tend to like to be called as the gender they are going as, for the moment, so that's the most respectful thing to do. Focusing on that "the person posting is actually a man" doesn't serve any purpose. I don't get it.
For the most part, yes, because the overwhelming majority of us here want to express our girly side. But I see Sophie's point clearly and think she says it best.
When I see a post that starts out "Hey Girls..", I see that it is not for me because I am not a girl, and therefore do not want to be called a girl. I am just an overweight, balding man with facial hair, and it is not really appropriate, even with a stretched imagination, to address me as a girlQuote:
Originally Posted by Silentpartner GG SO
Yet the name you have chosen for yourself here is Ellyn.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellyn
Well said, Stephnie!
Of course you are all ladies. You presnet yoursleves as such and this lady is pleased to accept you as such
i dont see the CD's As girls... the girls wither preop or post op are girls. and the boys either post or preop are boys... personally to me the CD's are way to fake for me. because to them its a game where they get to play dressup... some of us on here are far beyond a game of dress up or sexual fun.. we live our lives as who we feel we should be and some of us see a fetishist CD who dresses for their own pleasure as a slap in our face and take great offence to their opinion that has no basis in reality...
Yeah we actually see this attitude quite often from some of the TS ladies and its not good. There are quite a few nice looking CD ladies on this board out in the mainstream working for the cause. Nice attitude there..Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkijo
There are some people here who even though they identify as male that like to corssdress I can't help to think of them as female and there are others that no matter how they are identifying I am always thinking he or him when I read their posts.
I believe this a 'Crossdressers.com' forum, or am I missing something?Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkijo
To answer the OP's question, I caught myself the other day referring to some of the members here as girls in my mind and that is how I want to be referred to as. I am new here so I may be missing something, 90% of the time this forum is awesome and very accepting, the other 10% I am stunned by the level of intolerance.
Great thread topic. When reading and posting here I normally think of the writer as to how they identify and present themselves. If they have a feminine name or avatar or pic it is easier for me to feel that way. I also accept people for who they are or say they are and then let their words and actions prove my initial acceptance was either correct or incorrect. Now, when a limited few of our MtF members here write their wonderful prose, I can clearly see the male shining through the professed female persona, that goes for CD's all the way to post op TS's. Some traits are just very hard to change, even for me sometimes. Yes, I have seen the GG's who are dominant and almost masculine, and all the rest of the spectrum to fully overly femme in presentation , writing, speaking and general personality. It normally doesn't bother me unless I start to feel from their writings the non-support, overly critical to the point of rudeness, better than thou attitude, or that typical male trait of always being right knowing everything about everything and getting in the last word. Fortunately and unfortunately, we have a pretty good representation of all walks of life here from conservative to liberal, redneck to sophisticated, prejudiced to accepting, and everything else. Unfortunately, because some of the more negative characters are detrimental to the general purpose of this site as a safe haven providing support to all. Fortunately, because it is good experience for newbies and probably all the rest of us to be able to see and experience some of the less favorable aspects of the real world from the safe and anonymous area this closed site.
I like my approach of accepting and believing all because hopefully it helps me to be non-judgmental until experience with a specific member necessitates my personal judgment, which fortunately is not too often. I like the concept of support and going and playing along with our characters that we present here. It makes it more rewarding for all if not taken too seriously and in too much detail.
As I was abused in various ways by males through my early life, I have an inherent distrust of guys in general. But the thing about this forum is, I know I share something with everyone here, and even when someone disagrees with me, it's never turned nasty. And that's a very nice change in my life. It's sometimes hard to find nice people.
Girl? Boy? I dunno. Like others have said, I often think of everyone here as female. However some of the comments (mine included) are distinctly male. I remember a post on "emotions" and or "crying". The responses were all over the board.
As for if dressing makes me post differently or more feminine, uh..no. I'm just as nutty and confused in drab as I am dressed. I write pretty much how I talk, from the hip, dude-like, and a little naive. OK, alot naive.
ginger
If you have a female avatar, are dressed as a female in your avatar, and/or have a female user name, I will use feminine pronouns with you. If you have a male avatar, are dressed like a man, and/or have a male username, I refer to you with masculine pronouns. I've met people that didn't like this on the forum (me using feminine pronouns). Usually, the person is nice about it. But, I've run into a few that write me a Bible on how I can't assume their gender association based on their name and looks. (Because, that makes total sense, right?) I think the aggressive people are generally confused, so hopefully writing it all out helped them cope in some way.
As to people I feel are "women"...Melissa and I have butted heads like some of my best girlfriends. I think the transsexual women act like women, and so I see them as women.
But, a lot of members on this site don't really act like women...at least in the way I'm used to acting with women and my own gender. We generally don't scan each others pictures and say how hot we are, or talk about our panties, or even talk about clothes a whole lot. I'm also bi...I haven't really seen it going on in the whole "community" either. It seems like a CD thing, which isn't bad...it just reminds me that I'm talking to CDs. And, a lot of the combos about makeup and clothes are fun to have. But, I'd never really be comfortable describing the color of panties I'm currently wearing, or commenting on pictures with "you look so sexy, etc." But, the people that want to do that...that's their prerogative lol.
I only get a little mad when people tell me how I am supposed to feel as a woman. Or, start bashing on GGs. In those cases, I feel almost exactly how I feel at bars with scuzzy old men acting like I'm meat...or, like my vajay makes me too unworthy/stupid to know the difference. (Men also expect a lot of patience out of me...I guess, they were misinformed...patience is not always a feminine trait). I have a few Condescending Wonka memes in mind that I could use for the occasions though like "Oh, so you wear women's clothes...tell me more about what it means to be a woman." So, yeah, in those cases, I'm painfully aware I'm talking to a man.
That's interesting actually, since we're born with male priviledge there are some things we just never see until someone points it out.
Even from a quick scan of the postings I can see that there's a lot going on here - which I guess reflects the many different reasons for being here, for dressing, for transitioning, for staying in the closet - for whatever. Curiously, just yesterday I had thought about slipping my male name quietly into a posting but after further thought I realized that here I was Ellen, here I want to be Ellen - which also I guess is my own answer to the question. While I"m here, I'm Ellen - and I consider that I'm interacting with other women - which I realize doesn't fully reflect all the time their reasons for being here or the possibility that they dont' think about it the same way. I already know that, as noted, there are as many different attitudes about what we do and as many different goals or different places we want to be at as there are people in this community. If some one wishes to be thought of differently, I'm open to being corrected - but short of that I'll continue to consider everyone here a girl, or a woman based upon how they appear to be presenting themselves.
It's almost like I WANT to argue with you. ;-)Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
By the way, this is the second post I've seen from you today and girl, you are on fire. I love this attitude you got goin' right now.
Now that you have brought it up....yeah, I do too! I think of everyone here as female and me as well.