Printable View
I've felt alone since childhood, around 10, and longed for a female to be close to. I did wind up putting women on a pedestal, and learned never to let them see my inner self, my need for love, because that's when they leave. And after many years nothing has changed much other than I am more accepting of my inner self and have lost my unrealalistic expectations of women, at least most of them!
Hi
Yes I to have spent many a year along and feeling along even in the most crowed place anyone can be in.
It seems to be a fact that most off us feel along.
Why is this?
I have my own theroy and that is the mind won'ts to be treated like a woman (not in a sexual way). But getting the same gentle responses that a GG gets from day one. These responses we either learn as we grow up, or the brain is preprogrammed to be more pleased to such responcese (nature or nurture). As we grow up we don,t get the same responces as a GG, so we withdraw inward and spend a lot of time in our own company (even in a crowed) to please are minds. This time along stops the wrong respncese, which the mind hates and by not reciving them we relax are minds, so we gain a more even keel on the emonitional front.
Well thats my theory after many years of wondering why I always feel along.
Love you all
Lucy
Ps please excuse my speling.
All I can add is ditto's to just about every thing said here.
my teen years....
i had a healthy social life in high school, and i was closeted then, i had lots of girlfriends, but only because my fem was so close to my masc, i was very charming with the women becuase i felt similar emotions and could relate well. as for being alone, that was the tricky one, once i realised that the fem feelings inside of me wasn't caused from anyone outside of me, i started realizing more "personality" with my fem. fantasies turned to reality with some open minded girlfriends, then after college, with men aswell. but with the development of my fem personality, there came conflict with my masc life, depression helped drive me to my fem, but my day to day life suffered. the conflict drove me apart inside, and then the lonely part came in. i was happy when my fem and masc were not in conflict, but once i started learning social "labels", i was lost. was i gay? was i straight? where did i fit in? that's when i felt most alone, when i questioned my "self". that, i now see, was the problem. in high school, there was no conflict, i was happy, i was confident, it was when i got lost in depression that i felt alone, because i had separated my fem too far from my masc, and was looking to put a label on it.
when you solve the conflict on the inside, then you solve it on the outside aswell. posting and connecting with us is a resolution to a conflict, be strong from here!
charmed
This is an amazing thead. I never connected my desire to be alone and feeling like my own best friend as a crossdressing thing. I've always wondered why and hearing everyone describe their feelings that describe me perfectly really puts it in perspective.