I don't have a problem with anything you are saying Emily if two people have genuine loving feelings towards each other. How do I know this? From experience Hon.:)
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I don't have a problem with anything you are saying Emily if two people have genuine loving feelings towards each other. How do I know this? From experience Hon.:)
They are also necessary for oral sex as well (and a similar barrier is needed when done on someone with a vagina.) Diseases are also spread via mouth to genital contact. (I mention this because I am shocked by how many people I have met over the years who did not know a condom or barrier is necessary for oral sex and didn't know there was a risk involved with it.)Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
Yes Sean, that's it.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Competition?
Hardly...
I was merely addressing the statement that "straight cross dressers... don't think about men". I am not even going to comment on someone's sexual orientation or proclivities. I will however agree that "safety" should always be number one on the list when it comes to sexual encounters.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
kel
I had sex with a man as a man many years ago for about 2 years and I enjoyed it. If he had accepted me wearing panties to bed we probably would have had a much longer relationship. I would probably have sex again with the right man or another CD or a special woman. The point is to care about each other not get hung up on gender.
hugs rita
The risk during oral sex is statistically lower than any other type of sex. If you're talking about a total stranger, I'd definitely say use a rubber.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV
It doesn't matter what type of sex you have. gay, straight, bi, kinky. all sex should be practiced safely. part of that is communicating with your partner. being honest withe each others intent is important.
personally i do prefer being dressed while being with men, and sometimes when i hook up with a woman.
Я гаварю по РусскйQuote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
I'm working on the feathers. LOL
I you remember not too long ago, Farah Fawcette died of anal cancer thatis associated with anal sex, so there are other concerns as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
Wow, you are making me so jealous! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
As for the concept of the GG's not wanting the competition from us, I want to thank you for the laugh. Let's face it, VERY few of us pose a credible "threat" (should they choose to see it that way). I can think of many reasons that a typical woman may not like the idea of man on man sex, especially for a woman with a cd for an SO, but I doubt very much that not wanting the competition is the reason for a single one.
The last thing I want to comment on is this "prudish" forum. Every where you look on the Internet, you see CD websites where sex is a huge part of conversation. I'm sick of that stuff and obviously so are a LOT of other people, because THIS prudish site is far and away the largest CD site on the web. Don't get me wrong, an occasional post like this, especially when approached in a reasonably intelligent maner as this one was, is cool, but I don't WANT to be a part of a forum that revolves around that crap.
When I first came out here, I became friends with a pretty "gay" CD. I was very curious how she handled her dates. She said she was very careful and very explicit. They did what she wanted at all times and were ALWAYS told before dates she wasn't going to have sex with them! Of course, maybe she could be a lot pickier than the average CD. She's simply gorgeous! When she rarely posts a pic here, she gets WAY over 1000 hits! But, I think every CD who dates men should follow her lead!
My goodness, Reine! This may be the most naive post I've ever read from u! Basically, we're talking about MEN here! U talk about folks with strong sex drives, unbelievable imaginations, many of whom who live their entire sex lives in a fantasy world!? There r no limits to who and what SOME men will have sex with! And, even LESS limits to their thots! The male friends I grew up with had sex with photos! Hey! I like looking at pretty pictures in Playboy, too. But, having sex with the pics? No way! I'm the EXCEPTION, tho. Sex is ALL about fantasies for men. Without perfect physical manipulation, men, especially older men, use their imaginations to become erect. I'll bet u would VERY surprised to see what some men r thinking as they have sex with their SO of many years! As an older man myself, NOTHING would surprise me!Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Ha ha ha docrobbysherry, you are so right about some men.
Some guys will have sex with anything that moves ... and twice with anything that doesn't move.
Kimberly,Quote:
Originally Posted by TxKimberly
I agree with you on that comment.
Sex is 100% all in our minds. Intimacy that resonates with our own mental needs is effortlessly and profoundly pleasurable!
I agree with Kimberly's statement...This forum has so much to offer those that aren't driven by sex all the time!Quote:
Originally Posted by TxKimberly
Sex... now remind me!.... I seem to have vague memories of encounters with women.... xx :)
So you're telling me, all the posts and stories I read here about sex with men are pure, unadulterated fantasy? There's no truth to any of it? :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
Well, I'll be. I'm snookered. :D
Seriously Sherry, fantasies posted in a forum are best left to single men. If a husband is in here posting fantasies about having sex with men and his wife finds out about it, he'll end up in divorce court. Best to keep those fantasies to himself, together with all the other fantasies then, just like all the other husbands who fantasize they're with Angelina Jolie (or Brad Pitt) when they're making love with their wives. :p
It's a source of deep, deep shame for me as a religious girl to know that such violence is so often associated with religious beliefs. It's so sad that my faith especially has been perverted to justify hatred. It's not what were about and I hope nobody thinks that it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Youkje
I normally don't post things about my personal life but since Emily asked, well..... Just bear in mind the safety factor is a "given" and anyone who doesn't consider that is not acting responsibly.:)
I think honestly, as a straight male as far as I've been concerned as I'm open to the idea of being with someone like Miss EmilyWa, who looks like a natural woman despite that might not being the case, I've never been straight out attracted to men. I'm not about to limit the chance to be completely happy because he or she might have a penis, hell, I got one so I mean, come on. It's just a matter of connecting to that said person. Granted, it would be pretty high on my wierd meter to be with a guy. But I like wierd. Makes life more thrilling. D:
But I watched up till the end of the 3rd part and even as just a guy in a dress, I felt like I needed to go and sit down with that kid Noah and tell him that he's a wonderful kid, even if what the rest of the world calls strange, good for him for being who he is. I really hope he doesnt turn into one of those statistics. :(
I think this thread is fine since it is informative regarding the risks. Lots of warnings here for those that may be interested. It's not my cup of tea but I don't find it offensive at all the way it is being discussed here.
Thank you so much, that's exactly what I wanted to say. :-)Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
I like that there are threads like this started for this very reason. I don't really care what you do in whatever clothes you want to wear, or with whom. BUT, I really like that the OP brought up personal safety in the forum of honesty and condom usage.Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiegal
So many people brush this off that "everyone knows," but, then, there are posts like this where someone doesn't know. I don't care who is with who...but, I don't want to see ya at the hospital getting tested for HIV. It just throws my whole day to give that magnitude of bad news.
So, yes, Katiegal. Condom usage is especially needed for sex between two men. STIs/STDs are spread through bodily fluids. It's very important to use a condom with anal sex (be it with a man or a woman) because bodily fluid is exchanged in these areas...it's a big concern for this area, because small tears are not uncommon and they may provide a means to the blood supply. HIV research indicates that receptors for HIV may be in greater numbers in the rectal area...this would mean that anal sex would be extremely risky in the transmission of HIV. Condoms are very effective for preventing the spread of HIV and other STIs, but they are not 100% perfect.
Condoms are absolutely needed for oral sex. Many people mistakenly think that they can perform oral sex to a man, but it is safe as long as he does not ejaculate. This is false. A condom should be worn if there is any contact with your eyes, inside of nose, mouth, vagina, penis, or rectum with another person's genitals. Ejaculation is not necessary because it is likely that there are trace amount of bodily fluids around this area prior to ejaculation. So, condoms are a must. A major concern for condom usage during oral sex is prevention of HIV and herpes. It has been documented numerous times that HIV is also spread through oral sex. If you will be performing oral stimulation to another person's rectal area, you will need a mouth guard.
If you have had unprotected sex, you should get tested. Everyone who is sexually active should be tested yearly. HIV (and, some other STIs) may yield false negatives on detection test until many months after the actual unprotected sexual act. Blood testing with herpes is not as reliable as other detection methods. Herpes, therefore, can remain dormant (or, inactive) in the body until a much later date in time. It's unfortunate, but herpes is best diagnosed when an outbreak is noticed...blood tests yield false positives, and the virus may remain dormant for a long time before actually causing an outbreak.
So, yes, absolutely condoms no matter what. I needed to put this on here for ANYONE just because it's the nurse in me. I love my patients...but, I'd rather them be happy, health, and out of the hospital.
Just echoing the safety issue.
And...
As far as "fantasy" posts... I don't think people are prude here, but I think forums that have a majority of males on it, and make the habit of continuously going into things like that just turn into porn sites/naughty stories sites/booty call sites. There really are PLENTY of those, but very few forums like this. So, I think that the moderators here do a pretty good track of keeping the purpose of the site alive...support. Many of the moderators are GGs...and, I think that, perhaps, it is easy for the masculine sex to just say women are prudish. It's really just that they are seeing past your average 5 inches, and just trying to keep things in line. ;)
As far as GGs just getting pissed because they don't want competition...seriously? Omg...I really want more gay men in the world! Do you understand how many parties have been ruined for me and my friends because guys just can't leave it alone? I'm too busy doing my own thing to worry about what everyone else is doing...the more guys occupied with you, the fewer times I have to say, "No...not interested...thank you, but still no...I'm a huge lesbian...seriously...I was traumatized by testicles as a child...I don't know it was PE class and I blocked it out of my mind..." It's a year before I can go back to dancing with my friends, or I'm exhausted by the time I catch up with the actual hot/interesting men and women.
Sure there are predators out there who want to hurt CDs or GGs--that doesn't mean we shouldn't date or have intimate relationships--it means we should be carefullQuote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Reading some of the fantasies that many on here have about being treated sexually like a woman while with a guy, makes me shake my head at times. The reasons why it makes me shake my head are as follows:
1) men that seek cd and tg people usually tend to have some interest with the "extra" and would tend to handle it during the passion
2) cds and pre-op tg just don't have the female sexual organs to be treated like a woman while in sexual play. I know when I'm with a woman, anal penetration is not usually on my agenda.
So when a cd friend tells me their fantasy I usually let them know that in reality they are not being treated as a woman but as a gay bottom. They should be comfortable with male on male contact before preceeding on with their curiousity.
As for safety on top of the usage of condoms for both participants, I'd suggest having a dental dam on hand as well for some safe oral activity.
Who said that you shouldn't date and have sex with men?Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJanessa
If you're in a venue (OK, I'll say it ... a tranny club) where there are men looking for Tgirls you'll be fine. The dangers lie in straight clubs. You just don't know what the guy who thinks you're sexy will do once he finds out you're not a GG, if he's homophobic. There's no way to control someone else's reaction ahead of time. So how can you "be careful" in a situation like that?
In the video link that I posted, Gwen Araujo was at a party. She was killed when some of the guys found out she was TS.
I agree.Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Chantal
very good advise, I do all the things on your list all ready except the body hair hard to get the back hairs when you live alone. every thing else yes.Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilyWa
Actually in October of 2010, there was assumed an instance here in Winnipeg that a guy committed an arson to a bath house due to being "fooled" by a transgendered person. The end result there was 2 casualities in the fire, one being a drag queen friend. I haven't heard if the dq friend was the one that had interacted with the arsonist prior to the fire.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
But looking at Remembering our dead list and reading the articles associated with the deaths, you would notice quite a common theme with what happened to Gwen
Thanks for posting this, Chantal.
I'd like to add that Max was perhaps under the impression earlier that I was advocating against CDers dating men. This is not true, I think it's wonderful when male-attracted CDers find men they can be with. But the stark reality at least in this part of the world is unfortunately, homophobia is alive and well. I'm not saying that every man is homophobic, but I think it's important for people to develop a very strong sense of the general attitudes in their own milieus and not get lost in a sense of false security. It's a tricky balance.
When this thread started it raised a red flag for me because it was posted by someone who lives in a part of the world that accepts transwomen more easily than they are accepted in the Western world. And Emily's OP came off as if the only requirement for safety is to tell a straight guy that you're trans, and as long as you do this then you can go ahead and have a good time. While this may be true in Thailand, it's not the case here. A beautiful TS could be sitting at a bar 20 feet away from a guy that she hasn't even spoken to, and if he has been eying her all night then finds out she's TS things can get out of hand.
So true, Several years ago, while I (not crossdressed) and a few friends were out enjoying the night at one of Winnipeg's popular Exchange District night clubs there was some chatter floating around the club about beating up a "*******". Apparently the transperson had attracted some interest from several guys. After dancing with one of the guys the truth of her birth gender was exposed and didn't take long for the transphobic juices to gush out.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Thank gawd the staff of the club got a whiff of the chatter and took the appropriate actions. At the end of the night, a couple bouncers accompanied the tsperson and her gg friends to make sure they were safe while they waited for the taxi.
As Reine so well pointed out, we have a few very beautiful TS women here on the forum who were almost killed just for being.. period.
One was just getting her mail.
Yes, things are differant here . Error on the better side of caution.
Good night,
Presh
there area dangers everywhere. people slip in the shower everyday. walk outside and get hit by a bus. random things always happen. yes there will be targeted events, but that applies to everyone. that's not going to stop me from dressing or enjoying the company of men or women. you just have to be smart about it. don't let fear ruin your experiences. go out have fun, and i can't stress the importance of practicing safe sex.
We are living a deceptively dangerous lifestyle. I recommend everyone take a good self-defense class. They're fun, and they just might save your life!Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJanessa
Krav Maga is a very good one for self-defense. It's the same thing that Israeli soldiers use for self defense when they're walking through Palestinian neighborhoods of their cities. Apparently, they get jumped frequently in the poorer neighborhoods. Without getting into the politics of it, they're isolated in an incredibly hostile environment and frequently have to brawl their way out. Actually, come to think of it, things can very quickly become THAT intense for us as well...
If you can find it, there's a martial art called Bujinkan Ryu Budo Taijutsu. This is the stuff! It combines the surviving schools of Ninjutsu into one very diverse art whose main philosophy is less about winning the fight as it is escaping with your life. VERY difficult to find a school, though.
Filipino Martial Arts is a lot of fun and will teach you a lot about the mechanics of a fight as well as how to use basically any little bit of scrap that's lying around as a weapon, but it's mostly a "shed blood first, ask questions later" art, so defending yourself with FMA can get really ugly, legally speaking. Keep in mind that legally you're only allowed to use JUST ENOUGH force to maintain positive control of a situation. But then, given the staggering history of extreme violence against CD/TG/TS folks, perhaps you can justify going straight for the sayoc dagger (it's a foot long double edged nasty looking thing) approach.
Seriously, ladies. It's worth considering.
Hugs,
Sophie
I wouldn't blame any guy for wanting you, you are gorgeous!!
This brings to mind another point. I don't know if you or others have watched the video about gender earlier in the thread (the full series is here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ead.php?175742), but I'm guessing that men who are prone to homophobia might be particularly nasty towards transwomen who are genuinely sexy by both TS and GG standards, in other words if these homophobes truly have no clue ahead of time that the woman he is attracted to is trans. There's a big difference between looking like this:Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandy Michaels
http://krodack.files.wordpress.com/2...iladyboys1.jpg
(This pic was taken from this article: https://pittqueertheoryf11.wordpress...d-sexing-race/)
... and looking like the majority of CDers who post pics in the Gallery here. Although many of our members are beautiful, they are not in the same league as the transwomen in the picture above (they're not on hormones, they haven't had FFS, they may be much older). I shouldn't think they'd incite the same type of violence and hostility, since in real life, people can tell they are not genetic women when they look closely or interact with them, and therefore they won't "fool" a homophobe in the same way. There's a subtle difference here but it may be an important one.
It's complicated though, and I've no doubt there is still strong hostility among some homophobes just based on a general hatred of transfolks, even if they are not attracted to her because they know ahead of time she is not a GG. Some of the pics of the transwomen who were murdered in post #78 show transwomen past a certain age who as previously mentioned, were attractive but without being in the same league as a Thailand showgirl.
I've been both physically and sexually assaulted, so I know all about predators. I try not to let it get to me, but honestly, it can be hard. Some times when I'm talking with a guy for the first time, in the back of my mind is "Is he going to hurt me too?"Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJanessa
Life goes on. I have to go on - otherwise they win. Just be careful, stay aware of your surroundings, and listen to yourself (if your mind is telling you "Danget, get out!" there might be a good reason).
There 's a really good way to start the evening! that makes a person relaxed and ready to enjoy dinner, etc. if that is all I could anticipate in my life, I would be making dates with right hand. sometimes the danger signal might come too late and there is no time to get out. It is not a life that I would want. I would definitely be re-examining my life. sorry if this sounds like a criticism--it isn't , just a comment on a way of life that I personally wouldn't endure ( though you are obviously free to do as you wish, it is your life) , cding and/or sex be damned.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorenqt
That is for certain ( and should perhaps be a warning about threads dealing with "passing"), but it isn't clear whether these are pre- or post-op TS and whether the intention here is homosexual encounters or not, or are these LBs looking for partners and long term relationships, gay or straight. The article you mentioned sounds generally like academic hooey though it does confirm what I have read on a Thai website that LBs are only partly accepted and that MONEY is the object in many transactions.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
" Plessy v. Ferguson. The Plessy case was central to the identification and separation of bodies as being either “black” or “white.” One could stretch this I guess from the doctrine of separate but equal, to be something about gay/black/white/straight , but that would be twisting this all out of common sense, like saying the statue of Liberty has something to do with immigration.
From the mix of replies I am beginning to wonder what the original query was about... certainly it was not about healthy safe sex. Although it would seem that not a few members could use advice in this area..... eg that the use of toothpicks does open minor blood wounds in ones mouth and that a condom is hardly a protection then....but that info is obtainable elsewhere surely...not here.
The forum query was specific to CD members wishes and actions dressed/out.
For myself I am almost past any multi-faceted active sex by now and with years of experience behind me, one way or another, I would say that if you have a boat, go rock it, knowing the risks. If you donot yet have a boat, go and find one, it might just turn out to be fun.
Remember too that sex is for fun.
~Samm
I did not watch the videos yet however I will chime in:
I am married to a wonderful woman and I often have said "he is married" but "she is not" She is referring to my girl side! Now to be 100% transparent I will say that yes I have been attracted as a woman and only as a woman to a few guys and I have thought about them! I have even been kissed by a guy and at the time I did not like it and at times I have thought about him but not in a sexual way.
Now personally because I am married I do not cross that line nor do I want to cross that line. I have been asked out by guys which I have not taken the offers because they are in other states and I understand that if I open the door to a relationship with a guy it can create some problems that I do not want to think about. I will say that many girl do dress to have relationships with men because they want the full experience of being a woman, which is fine for them and they take risk that should not be taken. I for one over the last few years been asked out and proposed to and I thought I was a hot mess and at times I still think I am! However like I have said in the past I have met only one guy and I have only fell for one guy and he left that job! I am glad he did cause in girl mode I wanted in a bad way!! In guy mode I could care less!
However if your a full time woman and your into guys just be safe and be honest with them!!