Prom... should I??

Hello Kimberly

Just my 0.02 but... about this being the time or the place... can you think of a safer place to come out? Would coming out at a public club be safer than a college dance? Yes? No? My vote's on no. Certainly, it's safer to come out to one friend at a time, but if you do decide to go out in public at some point, I think college is a safer place to start. It's certainly seems like a logical intermediate step between "one friend at a time" and "fully out in public".

Now, I'm certainly not suggesting that you spurn your parents' advice. My definition of "honoring your parents" is to honestly listen to their advice and give it due consideration but, honey, in the end the choice is yours, not theirs. Honoring them doesn't mean obeying them every time. (Don't get me wrong. I know that's not necessarily at all what you've been thinking about).

Knowing parents, they never want their kids to do the things their kids want to do because each generation has different limits. One must keep that in mind when hearing the parents' advice. Parents are always more traditional or conservative than their children -- even the liberal ones.

I do have one question for you. Which year are you? Sounds like you're not senior year yet? If not, then I have a proposition for you. Rather than scrapping the plan altogether, perhaps you could defer the plan to come out at the dance until your senior prom. At that point, if it all goes due south, so to speak, you're out of there soon after anyway. That way you can "fantasize" about it until then with your friends and maybe even win some of them over. You'll give yourself a chance to still go for the gusto and not have to feel like you caved -- you'll even feel like you were prudent! :D

I do have to admit I, too, wish I'd crossdressed when I was young and still 100% passable. I might still do okay were I to go out, but not like I would have then, I don't think. I even began writing short stories partly to function as, well, "surrogate memories" if you will. I truly feel that I missed out! But that's just me.

Anyway, a bit more fodder to mull over.

Hugs,
Lisa

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lisameaghan

can you think of a safer place to come out? Would coming out at a public club be safer than a college dance? Yes? No? My vote's on no. Certainly, it's safer to come out to one friend at a time, but if you do decide to go out in public at some point, I think college is a safer place to start.

---

oh yeah...really great advice from someone who lives in the SF Bay area. uh huh...

Okay... let's not start the flaming. :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kimberly

Okay... let's not start the flaming. :(

---

Point being...SF is one of the most "T" tolerant places on earth...geeeesh...;)

Apologies if I've offended. :)

I did all of my schooling after grade school in Massachusetts, actually, and my college years were spent right outside Boston. A bit more conservative, that place. Nevertheless, even over there I always felt that college events have things going for them like attendance only by invitation and prearranged transportation and things like that which provide for at least somewhat of a safer environment. Actually at my college gala there were ladies with buzzed hair wearing tuxedos and all sorts of things, so that's why I figured it might be a safer place.

I am always the first to admit I could be wrong.

Peace, everyone!

Hugs,
Lisa

Lisa~
You didn't offend anyone, at least not me. I simply thought the comment was a bit strange taking into consideration that you live in SF. :confuse:
I think it's pretty much a given that there's more tolerance on either West or East coast. Most of the midwest is a whole different story. As far as the UK, I have no idea.

Well, I have idea about the UK -- we don't talk about it much ;)

... okay, seriously: my college is INCREDIBLY conservative. The guys are rugby players and the girls go out with them, and it appears that's all there is to life. (Yeah... right...) It's a boarding school, but has sixth form attached.

Now, I don't think it's such a great idea... and I'm not going dressed. From posting on here and talking to my parents its not safe, and would probably destroy me emotionally from the social rejection from the general student body. Yes, my friends would remain my friends - I have no doubt of that - but the others there, who play rugdy and have girls kissing the ground they trample over, would surely make my life a living hell.

There are posts on this forum that say, no word of a lie: "To hell with everyone else, you express yourself how you bleeding well like!" Well I put my hands up, and say honestly without reservation: I am not strong enough to do that... yet.

University, especially a Drama College, would probably be a good place to come out to everyone at. And anyway, the plan is that I'm just honest with everyone since the moment I arrive, (and 4 suitcases of fem clothes with me!!)

Thanks for all your help on this issue, girls - but I missed the deadline for tickets/tables etc... I'm not going. full stop. (It's a load of messy brown stuff anyway - no booze, no good food....... no smiling. - heh. I wouldn't put it past them.)

xxx

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kimberly

Now, I don't think it's such a great idea... and I'm not going dressed. From posting on here and talking to my parents its not safe, and would probably destroy me emotionally from the social rejection from the general student body.

---

I think you've made a wise decision...;)

I'm gald your not going. there will be other times and places in the future. And when the day comes there will be no dought about what to do.

Are you going to look back on this and wonder if you should have done it. Was this one of the best oportunities and you missed it. If you did not have GG friends supporting you then I would say don't go, but you DO have gg girls who support you. Go girl, have a blast, damn the consequeces. I think all the time about times I could have, but didn't. Go for it what have you really got to loose? Some dumb boys making fun. Who cares what they think. You only live once, live with out regrets. If I was there I would go with you. Go and leave early with your girlfriends and have a great time. I hope you go, best wishes.

Faith

Hey Kim

I have to commend you for having the guts to even consider doing something of that magnitude. You have my respect! I had been too scared to Xdress even on Halloween.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KittyMuffin

I have to commend you for having the guts to even consider doing something of that magnitude. You have my respect! I had been too scared to Xdress even on Halloween.

---

Well, I'm going as Boy George to an 80s themed birthday party!! Friends are helping me with the make-up, coz his is extensive, and I've never done anything like it myself.

Because of my Mother and Father many things in my life are not as good as they could have been. Also when parents, Hun, tell you don't, it's so there is no way in heck that you can get hurt. To be honest have you ever got on a skate board and fallen or something like that? Then Mommy said" I told you not to do that"!

Well it's the same here they are looking out for your well being on every level. Going out as a Female in this world is risky. Very much so! You have people that get into a rape situations etc. If your 19 and not able to defend your self, maybe you should think of self defense classes. Or if you Have worries about what Mary Jane or John Doe might say to everyone in your school of you. Then Don't do it.

But if your anything like some of the rest of us, It's like Who gives a *S* what others say. If it don't harm anyone or cause your paycheck to go down then so what? Do it. So much of my life was wasted by me worrying about what others might say. It's like this! On a Job site, If your the only good crane operator, they could give a darn what you are wearing. Your the one making them money. If your good at what you do Work and your grades are up at school then I don't see the problem? There are harassment laws in effect in almost every state in the Union. If someone does harass you they are going to jail.

None of us want to see you harmed ever. But think this through. It's your party and no one will harass you at it more than likely. It's as good as a Halloween party it sounds like.

Haley:)