My mother and father know, I told them in my late teens. I was living with them and had such a lack of privacy, I figured they might know already (no, one had a clue, whoops) or might find out in the future. None of my large extended family (on either side) not know I dress.
All my friends (cis and trans) know I am a TV.
my sister and her daughter know one close friend and my wife knew but she has passed away been thinking about letting that cat out of the bag but have not done that yet Hugs Ronda
I will name those that I have told or have found out about Marcia, in the order they found out or were told.
My mom caught me in during High School, never really talked about it, but often would tell me "You have the house to yourself, have fun , but stay in the house".
My ex-wife seemed to have figured out on her own. She is bipolar, and she went from full acceptance to total rejection, with the changing weather. My wife has only totally known for about three years of our 28 year marriage. She is supportive as she can be. My brother's ex-wifes, mother and step-dad. The step-dad is a member of my CD social/support group. Two of my three sons have known for about a year. The youngest is TG/CD also. The middle son, has even gone out with me, during a GNO. My wife has warned me not to tell the oldest, no reason has been forth coming. My best male friend from high school and his wife. Both very accepting. The most recent, my middle son's fiancé. She has male friend from high school who is TG/CD.
My fiancee learned early on in our relationship, and while she hasn't seen me fully dressed, she is supportive. When shopping for clothes for her, she'll playfully make suggestions for me as well. We're right about 1 size off from each other (I'm a size smaller) and she has discussed the idea of buying things for me when she's shopping alone.
Aside from that, my sister and my best friend know. The rest of my family knows I wear support pantyhose for a medical condition but they don't know about anything beyond that.
Its different in every case. Some people are open minded and have enough life experience to realize that each of us is different...others are more rigid in their thinking. But people will surprise you. Seemingly open-minded and accepting people may accept in strangers but distance themselves from closer acquaintances...and some very conservative people may accept in a loved one, things they generally object to in others. In then end I would pursue a need to know policy. You have a right to live your private life without hiding at home till12 am. So tell the friends you most trust and avoid those that you don't. As for family, the question is the same...if its likely that theyll bump into you, dont deny a basic part of yourself. tell those who need to know.
Just my wife, told her before we got marriage, an ex girlfriend and the girls on this forum.
Dont really want any close friends or family to know as you never know how they will react.
Hi Kristy
well my wife,mother.brother and my sister know i crossdress and in the last few weeks i told a friend and his wife that i dress and another friend and althrough most do not want to see me dressed, they say thats fine and it's upto me what and how i live my life.
hugs Claire
Family - parents were aware (now deceased) they discovered back when I was in high school. They were confused as was I at the time.
Wife - I told her about it three months into our dating. She was accepting and slowly grew to be more more and more comfortable. We have now been out in public together a few times.
Friends - two different groups. The friends from forever, some would be fine with it others not so much so I choose not to bother them with it as it would get around and why make some of them uncomfortable.
I have made new friends thorough a local burlesque dance class and they all know about it. It much easier to discuss with people who have no history or expectations. I continue on with classes, have traveled with them to Vegas, one night en femme, and will go out with then in both boy and girl mode.
My girlfriend and my mother know. I told my girlfriend about a year ago and my mother a few months ago. My girlfriend sees me dressed up a lot but my mom has not, she just knows about it.
Out, out and about baby!
I've told everyone. I mean, it's not hard to tell people when you're in a mini and heels ;)
No one knows, well other than wife, but doesn't like it.
Mom and sister know; I told them because my ex wife was going to when we were getting divorced, and I wanted to try to tell them in the least shocking way. Didn't work anyway; mom just doesn't get it, and blames the whole thing on the guy who molested me, ignoring the fact that she didn't pay any attention to what was going on with me when I was a kid. My older sister was kind of shocked when I told her; I can only guess she feels partially responsible because it was her best friends brother that was putting it to me for seven years, and she obviously had no idea what was going on. I don't know how she feels about it; she hated me as a kid and never seemed to change. Both of them ignore it; mother disparagingly remarks 'are you still doing that?' if I ever mention anything about it, and my sister changes the subject immediately. Neither contacts me unless they need something, and conversations remain either one word, or short answer only.
The few friends I told slowly distanced themselves from me until I never heard from them again.
There were no positive responses. I gained two friends at work, both female gay, and both sort of insisted that I was gay but just in denial.
Again, no positive responses at all.
I haven't told anyone else since then; there doesn't seem to be any point to it.
the short answer is yes and no...
As posted numerous times in other threads, my aunt who created Jennifer knew when I was 10, my Grand Parents knew when I was 14, and Mom knew but never said a word. I told my girlfriend when it looked like it was getting serious because I wasn't going to keep Jennifer locked in a closet and all she said was "so long as I didn't want to BE a girl" she was fine...course 3 years later she was assisting (pushing) in my transition but I get ahead of myself. I've posted before about the whys of my transition and through that time all of the family and friends were told. What I found amazing was the ones I thought would be supportive weren't and the ones I thought would go screaming the other way were my greatest supporters. When I transitioned back, there was no change. What most of them don't know is that Jennifer still exists today....
Jenn
My SO knows, she knew before we got together. We met online, and of course phone conversations ensued. During the course of one conversation I wanted to be honest with her, so there were no surprises, and asked her if she had a problem with men in women's clothing, she asked what I meant, and I explained to her that I wore women's clothing sometimes. She was ok with it. When we met it wasn't really brought up, but after some short time together she asked me to wear her panties and a t-shirt to sleep in, I loved this request, ( this is how I normally sleep). Since then I have acquired my own underwear drawer, with bras and panties. She has no problems with it, and encourages me to be me. She even loves when we do our nails together, and do other "girly" things together. I don't have much female outerwear, as my job, and the town I live in wouldn't really be too accepting of it, but she is encouraging me to get some if only for around the house. I love her for being so supportive of me. The only thing she worries about is that I will want transition fully, and she isn't sure how she would feel about that, but we are keeping everything open and discussing things as they come up.
My Sisters, both older and younger know, and they both support and encourage me fully. I told my older sister one night as I took her out to dinner, and explained that I was bisexual, and she was ok with it, so I thought I'd go for it, and I told her I dress as a woman, and she was so pleased she wanted to go shopping right after dinner lol. She told my younger sister, who told me that she was ok with it, and supported me completely as well. My mother knows, and has given me the usual mother response, " I love you no matter what", lol. She is accepting, but I don't know how she would feel seeing me en femme. I recently was talking with my Aunt via Facebook,(she and I are pretty close), so I thought I may as well come out to her. I told her first that I was bisexual, and then I was transgender. She shocked me, she told me that she figured I was transgendered, but was surprised I was bisexual, although it didn't bother her. I asked how she figured I was transgender, and she told me that the 2 months I was staying at her house, she saw panties and bras in my laundry a few times. She said it didn't bother her, and she didn't say anything so I wouldn't be embarrassed. She also told me that anytime I wanted to come stay with her, I could, in any form I liked. She asked why I didn't tell her before, and I said that I was too embarrassed to do so, she then told me had I come to her before when I was staying with her, she and her 2 daughters, ( one of which is a hair stylist, and the other a very "girly" girl), would have loved to have helped me be more femme. I sort of kick myself for that now lol.
I feel blessed to have friends and family who are so accepting of me, but I do know that just as many of them are not, or would not be. By now, I don't fret over them, I simply do what I want, and if they don't like it, they can go away.
Sarah ^_^
My mum knows I do but It has been while since she has seen me dressed, so she may think I have stopped but I haven't and cant really tell anyone else that I do, just have a reputation to uphold, But I love dressing up and being girly
Sorry to hear your wife is not happy with it.
My wife and I are telling her brother together so she has someone to talk to about it. Wish us luck!
wife found out a couple of years ago and of course was not pleased but always knew I had a thing for pantyhose. She has sensed moved from the topic and we are still very happily married going on 15 years now but only asked that I dont in front of her and the kids. Ex wife walked in while I was dressed one time but was also willing to stay in the marriage. I decided to leave anyway to marry the current. Go figure. Two others knew. One gf I had on the side during the first marriage who loved it, and a bf (also on the side during first marriage) who also loved it that I dressed up. Almost told my best friend the other day while at a bb game but decided it wasn't worth the time.
To the best of my knowledge only my wife knows or at least seen me as Jeannie. I almost got caught by my teenage grandson one time and I mean it was a very close call. I wish I could tell my friends but even though they are my friends I don't think I can trust them with a secret like this. It's just to scary for me.
Only my wife and therapist know.
Thank you everyone for putting in your individual comments on this topic. I do see that admitting to family and friends can be a controversial subject with the social norms that we live in. So I am quite close for my parents; considering that there are very few secrets between us, so I decided to tell them recently. They were definitely both in shock, but I was lucky enough to have my gf by my side to explain the psychological view on crossdressers. At first they were understanding, so we sent them two references to get a better grasp on the subject; the development portion of how this starts in a cd, and another describing how this affects the person's life when an adult.
A couple of days later, they were asking me to get help. So going back and forth about how this affects me, another week went by and we decided that up to this point, to not bring it up in conversation. Kind of tough to say if it was really worth admitting. We still continue to have normal conversations, which is a plus. :)
As for telling friends, I'm going to hold off. It is hard to explain to others if this act is a preference or to be considered a fetish - this is the one that will freak people out.
Only my wife knows, plus some household animals. I told my wife almost 3 months ago, 7 years into our marriage. She is a very open-minded person, and is OK with me doing it, though prefers not to see me dressed (which is fine).
I would never tell anyone else, as I am too afraid of the reaction, and how I would be treated after that. Mostly I'm worried that it could somehow affect my career, and therefore my career aspirations and ability to support my family. I'm even too nervous to post a picture of me on this site, lest somehow somebody recognize me, or distribute the photo!
I told my first girlfriend before things got serious, because I wanted her to love the real me. We broke up a few weeks later, but remained close friends. Since then, I've told just almost every new friend I've made (which is not a huge number, being the shy person I am), and I have not had anyone react negatively. Not one person.
My profile on a dating site is very open because I want my next girlfriend to know about me from the start instead of finding out after she's already formed an idea of who I am.
As for family, I haven't told anyone. I will tell me brother at some point, but the fact that he is the most important person in the world to me makes me worry about losing him, even though I'm 90% sure he'll be fine with it. I don't think I'll tell my parents or grandparents. As much as I wish they could know me, it seems like it's too late to spring something like this on them and change their whole perception of me.
Only my wife knows. I'd like to be able to tell someone but I know I'm not ready for that yet. I know my wife would like to tell someone so she could have someone to talk to about it other than me. I understand her perspective and I know it bothers her that she can't discuss it with her best friend who she shares everything with. Her best friend is probably the last person I'd want her to tell because I'm really good friends with her husband and I don't know how he'd react. Even if he is ok with it I think it would at least change how he sees me and ultimately affect our friendship.
I suggested possibly telling my wife's sister because I think she may be more open and possibly understanding. She actively supports the LGBT community and has many gay friends but I'm not sure she knows anyone like me. She has also known me for almost 15 years so I'm sure it would at least be a shock.
Now let me step back into my closet where I am the most comfortable...
My partner and a few friends know, 5 female friends and 1 male friend. My partner seems to be mostly accepting, although sometimes I think she is worried how far it will go. She often sees me crossdressed at home. 2 of my female friends have seen me dressed, and are fine with it. Another has seen photos and is also fine. I ocassionally go to one of these female friends houses and I spend the afternoon with her crossdressed, so I suppose you could say it has entered my wider social life in a small way.
Some friends male and female that I have told in the past I no longer see. I told one of oldest male friends some years ago. He wasn't very happy to hear it. We have not talked about it since. I am thinking about telling other people that I think will be OK. I feel much more comfortable with telling women about it than I do about telling men.
When I was your age, the only one that knew was my then girlfriend. No way would I have ever told another living soul. Keep in mind, there was no Internet and readily available information about gender issues or just crossdressing.Quote:
Originally Posted by KristyN
I have been married 3 times. The only wife that never knew was my first. ( married way to young and divorced in 5 years.) Since then, I've told my SO's and a close trusted friends; mostly female. So far the only bad reaction I have faced was my older brother. He is one of those so called born again Christians that goes over board with his religion and has become very intolerant. Up until recently, we have not communicated with each other for close to 5 years. We have mended the fences and he knows better then to push his beliefs on my face. He is almost human again.
I would suggest you know, or have a good idea, of how anyone you feel you have to tell will react and how they feel about any alternate lifestyles. The only mistake in judgement about who I've told, was the one brother. Well over a dozen friends accepted it and if anything, our bond has become closer and better.