What is the POINT of crossdressers.com?

For my money, the best thing about this site is that it is well-managed, welcoming and informative.

It enabled me to work out what my niche is in the WIDE crossdressing spectrum.

I found quite a few very rational and wonderful friends I could relate to. Thanks to you all!

Hi, Freddy! What's the point?

I've been a member of this forum for almost exactly a year. This time last year I was exactly nowhere--that is to say, deep in the closet where I'd been for a long, long time. I had no clothes, no knowledge of how to do myself up, no knowledge even of what I was.

I was beginning to do some research on the net. I wanted to find out what made me tick. Why am I the way I am? Then I stumbled across this forum. I wasn't long in signing up. I've done a lot of talking. Everybody knows that. But I've done a lot of listening, too.

The result? I'm out in the open in my town now. For the last couple of weeks I've been in the shops, the offices, the cafés, the library of this town. Fully dressed, fully myself. A lot of people have been very good to me. Nobody's been bad to me. (So far anyway. I suppose I'll run into the baddies eventually.) People call me "Annabelle", and I'm just going about my life now the way I wish I'd always gone about it. Too bad we didn't have the net and forums like this one back in the 60's.

So I think there is a point to it.

And Freddy, you seem to worry a lot about the nay-sayers. One of my favorite quotes from Nietzsche (who was also a "Freddy"): "You don't want your chain to let you go? Then by all means, bite it!"

Best wishes, Annabelle

It's about sharing. We can dress up in private and stay home and take photos of ourselves that we fear showing anyone, or we can at least venture onto this site and find people who have the same mysterious, befuddling, maddening obsession we do.

This is a safe place for me. A place where I don't have to hide my feminine side. A place where I can share - whether it's frustrations, joy, advice or pics. And I love this place because it reminds me that I am not the only one, others share or have shared the things I am going through.

Fredrique, my friend. I can understand you feelings, for I have seen a bit of the I'm transitioned or transitioning, so am the real deal vs the casual in the closet CD. But in all honesty, I have come to meet (online only so far) a number of girls here from all varieties of CD who have been supportive, interesting and helpful. I'm looking very forward to meeting some of them as our paths cross in my travels (you included). For me, meeting, sharing and going out as girl friends is the best part (not girlfriends as in intimate) I have found a lot of discussion on here of various interests I have and also issues, problems and sometimes just encouragement. Don't let some of the sour posts disrupt you from the reason your here, look for and encourage those who feel the same as you.

This site has been very memory jogging to me.
You always remember the good times and forget the rest.
I have replied to people about a lot of my activities over the years.
I have had flash backs to situations I had totally forgotten about.
If you asked me whether I had dressed much years ago I would have told you about two or three memorable instances and when I look back I have had a lot of memorable instances that are worth remembering. I may sell the copyright to my musings to myself and write a book.
I could still do it without outing myself.
If it was a best seller I wouldn't care then. :)

Hey there Girl! I am new to this site but not to crossdressing; however, I wish I found this site many years ago. This site provide me the opportunity to talk about anything and everything without prejudice, shame or guilt. I can easlily talk to my wife about everything, but, sometimes it is great to have a friend to talk to. Your post was very well written and well received and I do hope that you will continue providing your insight.

I think the point of this place, the purpose if you will, changes for everyone over the course of their tenure here, depending on how long they bother to stick with it. Like many, I found this place by accident on purpose, meaning I was looking for such a site, and happened upon it in my browsings. At the time, I was travelling for my work, and I was doing a whole lot of dressing up in motel rooms. I didn't know anyone anywhere I went. So here was a site where I could go while dressed up and talk to others about that very thing. It was like having another female at the ol' hen party.

I'm not travelling around anymore. But crossdressing is something that I don't discuss with anyone. And I mean no one, not even my wife. (Hopefully, that will change soon.) This site provides me the only place I can go where I can discuss crossdressing openly and freely with others who engage in the very same activity. And while there are some restrictions, and a few topics that tend to be taboo (like sex with oneself while dressed), it's still a very open community with thousands of members, all of whom either crossdress or are understanding and supportive of those of us who do.

So the bottom line for me is this: In a world that does not accept, and indeed ridicules, crossdressers, this is a place where I am not only accepted, but even propped up and promoted as a member of a community. Here, people like what I do, how I do it, and enjoy discussing it. Here, I can show off my new dress, and others think it's a good thing. Here, I am understood.

hello,
I do not know what the point of this forum is or why I contribute it. But I do know that it has given me the confidence to be me and made me realize that I am not the only man in the world who likes wearing women's clothing. AND I am forever grateful for that!
luv J

It looks like different people come to this site for different things.

A number of people mentioned "support." In my case, that isn't a big motivation. For one thing, since I'm not an orthodox cross-dresser, I didn't really expect most people here to be able to relate to my way of dressing and presenting, and in the few cases where I've talked about it, the response has lived up (or is it "down"?) to my non-expectations. For another, I get plenty of support and affirmation from people IRL -- pretty much everywhere except for work, I am quite open about what I do.

What I do come for is the hope of people sharing what it is like to be a man who cannot (and doesn't want to) fit within the roles that society insists men should confine themselves to, since that's how I describe myself. Unfortunately, I'm usually disappointed. It seems like most of the men here seem to insist that they (their "male selves") are "masculine" in the traditional sense and their non-masculine activities, feelings, etc., belong to a sort of female alter ego, a solution which doesn't work for me at all.

I've tried some men-in-skirts groups, but the men there seem to be just as hung up on convincing themselves that they are 100 % masculine. (Nope, none of that yukky feminine stuff here.)

While I'm here, I also look for people relating to us or to people in their lives as real people (like Martin Buber's "I and thou" relationship.) Unfortunately, all too often, here, like everywhere else, people mostly relate with who they imagine the other to be -- sort of role-to-role, or caricature-to-caricature relationships.