My wife knows

RE: slipping things back under the rug, Sharon's advice seems spot on to me.

One thought - I've had a rather forceful personality and agenda most of my life, something I've worked on changing the last few years. Being forceful may work for Donald Trump, but not so well for me. My point is, the more patient I am, the more room I give other people to shape our relationships, the better things seem to go. This doesn't mean that I'm totally passive, or that I have abandoned my own principles or desires, but that I have developed gentler ways of influence. Doing the Ghandi, kind of.

Hi sweetie. Outside of PM'ing. I want to say, your right on track with your wife, be honest and upfront. Try to be the open book, that is a good thing. My wife had a hard time at first too. What I didn't tell you was she was happy to find out I was the other girl, and that I wasn't cheating. At that point she shifted to... I'm ok with this, lets talk.

To everyone, whom has SO'ers. We know it tough living in a closet, scared, in denial, etc... what ever your reason maybe. But know this... Your not alone. Being here for eachother is the best medicine, truely.

Marla your Avatar is truely very nice :thumbsup:

Hope things are going better now. For me they are still in flux. From she ahtes it to it is what is wrong with the world and it's my fault.

Hang in there we're all pulling for you.

Hi Marla, Just wanted to lend support to you and let you know I was thinking about your situation and hope all works out for you. Looks like you have been given alot of good advice so hang in there.

Dani :angel:

Marla, sorry I been away for a while. Sorry I didn't get to respond to your need for some help as quickly as you have done with mine.

IMO, you are certainlly capable of explaining this to her, All your posts are so very well thought out, and so well organized. You truly feel like a wonderful person to me, it seems to eminate from your writing. I hope this all works out for the best. If times get tough, remember to Love yourself above all else. You are worth it!

My wife still won't come here. Despite all the anxiety and stress this is causing, some peole just don't want to open up thier eyes. I guess thats ok, cuz I don't want to close mine.

As far as counseling, it was good for me. It helped to bounce some things off a professional. Just be sure and pick the right one, they are human as well.

Again, as others have stated, sorry about your step son. I hope that your wife, and you, can / have grieve appropraitely, and then get on with her / your lives.

One word of caution though, it seems as though she may be the type who holds on to the past and cannot let go. My wife is this way, and it has caused tremendous problems with regards to resolving my Tg stuff, and our marital issues. Counseling may be a very good idea for her. Sometimes loving somebody is pushing them when they cannot move. Maybe she could greatly benefit in the quality of her life from therapy. just a thought.

PM if you feel that will help.


God Bless