Something In-between: A GG Perspective on Partial Dressing

Partial dressing is a big part of my lifestyle. No matter where I am, there is always a feminine presence about me. A necklace, bracelet, rings, painted nails, lipstick, eye shadow, shaved legs and arms - I don't try to hide the fact that I am not at the extreme of the gender continuum. I'm a male with a lot of feminine thoughts, attitudes and feelings and I'm not ashamed to look society in the eye and say, "accept me or not."

I didn't grow up with the knowledge that I was a crossdresser. I was raised on a farm and ranch with two brothers and we were taught to be tough, respectful, competitive and independent. Unlike my brothers, I loved fashion magazines and always looked forward to the award shows on televison when the actresses and entertainers would "dress to the nines." While I excelled at sports and other supposedly male activites, I enjoyed spending time with the girls and they always found me easy to talk to. Throughout my life, women have always been open and trusting with me. Friend's wives and girlfriends have used me as a stand-in for their husbands at events their husbands wouldn't go to or nights out with the girls.

I was married for twenty-three years and never had the urge to dress in feminine attire. After my divorce (she left me) I began dating after a year or so and a girlfriend invited me to go rollerblading with her skate group. Once a month they did a theme skate and as it turned out, the skate I went on was a prom dress skate. I didn't feel comfortable when I found out, but what the heck. When we started getting ready, my girlfriend chose a dress, loaned me a wig and applied make-up. When she finished she said, "My God Glenda, you look so natural dressed as a girl." I looked in the mirror and couldn't believe my eyes. This had always been a part of me but I had never thought of dressing. But we both knew immediately that it was definitely a part of my personality.

Later that year we went to some Halloween parties with me dressed as Glenda. All of my friends were shocked and amazed. I was the subject of some serious joking but at the same time everyone commented that I looked so good that it had to be something I did often. A couple of weeks later, another girlfriend asked me to take her for a pedicure and manicure and I got a pedicure as well. Afterward, we went to one of our local bars and once again I was the butt of many jokes. However, many of our friends, especially the women, said it was refreshing for a man to show his femininity. I was cast into a roll that I would never abandon. From that day forward I have kept my toe nails painted and gradually progressed into letting more of my feminine side show.

Some guys have asked why I do it. Lots of people think I must be gay. But no one questions my masculinity. They knew me before I started dressing. I haven't changed my personality. I'm still very competitive and rarely lose when playing golf, pool, poker, basketball, baseball, bowling, tennis, ping pong or whatever we're playing at the time. But I definitely have a feminine as well as a masculine nature. I'm a grown man and don't feel that I should have to hide in the closet or in my home. I can't cringe when a neighbor or friend drops by or when my kids want to visit. I used to be horrified and would quickly change clothes or remove my make-up but come on, is that any way to live?

I realize that I may not be normal to a lot of society, but I am normal to my friends. My personality hasn't changed although I have started going both ways. I drive and hit my irons from the right side but putt from the left. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I'm not crazy and I'm not weird - OK, maybe a little weird. It makes me feel good to be able to go somewhere as Glen or Glenda, or a combination of the two. I like it when my pool team goes into an opponents bar and everyone wants to know what shade of nail polish I'm wearing that night.

I like the fact that I'm accepted for who I am and not what I am. Next weekend I'm going to a bachelor party golf outing with a good friend as Glen and that night I'm going to the bachelorette party with his fiance as Glenda. After going out with the girls, I'll go back to the bachelor party to play poker as Glenda. Some people will accept us. Others won't. I may be laughed at behind my back or to my face, but friends joke with each other all the time. But if a stranger makes comments or casts dispersions, my friends have my back and they defend me as a good person.

I realize I'm lucky but I believe that we often make our own luck. If people accept me for who I am then great. If not, that's OK too. I can't be friends with everyone, but I can be friendly to everyone. It works for me. Partial dressing does to.

Marla, a very good and meaningful post, glad a found it.... It came at a very appropriate time for me, for last night I had a discussion with my long-distance and sometimes remote gg that led me to some conclusions about myself -- which were buoyed by your post and many of the add-on remarks of which I am but an echo:
While it might not be the case in reality, I feel that if I were a gg, I still would be dressing as I do -- which would be tastefully described as haphazardly bohemian? informal? not caring? for I am most happy in a skirt or dress covered by a sweat- or long-sleeved T-shirt...and of course, a gown or slip at nite. Happy and above all comfortable.
Since I have been a cyber-cd, I have added some jewelery and that is about it -- altho, once in a while, a few posts make me think of going further.
I attribute this hesitancy to practicality, although I attribute very little of anything else I do to that stringent word. While I sometimes have the urge, but not the nerve, to venture outside as I am, feeling that humans should accept other humans as humans, not a label or design, I do not fully understand the posts of those who report they are "thrilled" about passing. To make myself clear, while I do not fully comprehend the need, I am delighted for their happiness and usually read them fully. What thrills me most, though, as have previously stated, is people accepting people for people -- and social civility, no matter whom you see, talk or post to.
For the most part, I see this forum as "classless," possibly because I don't expect anything else here.
A long while ago, I suggested that perhaps an amalgamation with the "men in skirts" movement would help promote crossdressing, since if the public got used to men in skirts, well, you could be what you wanted with your mind and other parts of your body. This received a negative reaction from the scanty responses -- as if it would be a tragedy to mix gender metaphors. Then again, who knows what dwells in the mind of a "man in skirt." I returned to and started active cding after seeing a news story about m.i.s., as I refer to them. My return predated finding any accommodating forum.
Finally, of all the terms, I like crossdresser or cd, the best, for that describes me well enough. I am a man who crossdresses, anything else is commentary.
Love to all,
joni-alice in cd wonderland :cool:

Marla has started this thread by putting into words the thoughts of all of us who are in serious relationships with crossdressers. We love our men and never stop wondering why there is often a rapid personality change when enfemme. Marlas husband is a very fortunate man who has successfully integrated his enfemme persona with his masculine side. What ever form of dress our men are wearing be it trousers or skirt the person we love is there. There has been some brilliant replies and I congratulate you all. Has anyone from GB been watching Big Brother? Pete Burns looks great (not the lips!) His masculinity is so in your face (loads if tattoos, big hands, big man) but he is wearing georgeous dresses, skirts, shoes and his coats are fantastic! He is attractive because his masc and fem sides are totally fused. Take care luv pric

Hi Marla,

"your open-mindedness is very admirable."

Ha! ;-) It's been a long time in coming. The one thing that keeps me going throughout all of this is honesty and communication. To me it's not so much about the crossdressing, but what else is being hidden. I make small things into big things, even though I know I shouldn't. It's been a long road to open mindedness - but I will say I am glad I have travelled it. It has taught me a lot, no matter if we stay as a couple or not.

Even the longest journey begins with one step.