It used to be a sexual thing. Now I just like the feeling of dressing and looking like a woman. It used to be dressing very sexual, now it's dressing more classy and ladylike. Looking like a female my age.
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It used to be a sexual thing. Now I just like the feeling of dressing and looking like a woman. It used to be dressing very sexual, now it's dressing more classy and ladylike. Looking like a female my age.
In the past it certainly was, that element is still there, but to a lesser degree.
While I always had feminine feelings come over me, even from a young age, I will admit that during my teenage years through my late 20s, the sexual aspect of CDing played a role. However, over the years, just like a dignified lady, as I have aged, I still have the feminine feelings, but the sexual aspect has diminished a bit. Obviously, at my age, I dress a lot more sensibly, and less "sexy" as I did 25 years ago. I guess I am starting to go through the CD equivalent of menopause, for a lack of a better term. The femininity overrides everything else for me, especially now. I only wish I got into learning more about wigs and makeup 25 years ago, instead of starting in my early 40s.
Maybe the thread title should include the word "My", as in:
"Is My Crossdressing a Sexual Thing?"
It sure sounds that way, Taylor, Ray! I didn't realize that I was opening such a long discussion thread. It sounds like most of us at least had some great O's early on and some of us have continued that, but as I became more mature, so did my attitude and seriousness about exploring my feminine side. Now, feeling pretty and feminine is every bit as important to me than any sexual feelings that I have from time to time when dressed up. For example, earlier in my CD journey, I thought that big boobs, short skirts and wild hairdoos equaled SEXY; now i feel that femininity, blending in with women my age and being a mature woman is far more interesting, fun and sexy!
When i was younger i would get turned on by wearing women' clothing. If i had the desire to and play with myself either before dressing up or while dressed, the desire goes away. Now when i'm dressed it just feels natural and i don't feel any sexual excitement. Could have been my male hormones during that time causing it.
It has always been a very intensely sexual thing for me, always ending in a "pleasurable release". There have been some unexpected moments in the mirrors of dress shops where it was nearly...embarassing. When "untucking" after a succesful outing I have often found DNA evidence on the thong. May it ever be so.
The accelerating acceptance of LGBT issues in society may have taken away some of the danger/thrill which I am certain was part of the sexual aspect. Of late as I have invested in higher levels of makeup and coiffure (my own hair) I have received some wonderful compliments from some attractive women and that is just a whole new level of turn-on.
But there are some constants, some reliable turn-ons like the scent of hairspray, Chanel No5, the scent of lipstick, the feeling of eyelash glue hitting your eyelid and firming up..., the slick coolness of liquid eyeliner,
my hair springing back in tight curls after 30minutes under the dryer.....
I'd have to say it is both sexual and non-sexual and I suspect it is the same for most here but, in different proportions. For me it is a lot of fun to just look the best I can. I like to view it as a challenge. I would like to be 100% passable but, know it will never happen in my eyes till I stop looking for the guy in the mirror everytime I dress. I look at other CD'ers pictures and I am jealous how beautiful the look to me. I'm not sure I will ever get there and that's okay with me. It is still lots of fun. Sexually and just playing around. Cheers!
JS
Some one said what is the defination of sexual. It was sexual for me even before I knew what a "release" was. There was something so sensual about it, that I continually did it, yet not understanding why it made me feel the way it did. Then came the first release while dressed, and I was scared, confused as to what was going on. Even with all of this I couldn't stay away from dressing. The way I now know it was sexual for me is based on the fact that after the big "O", I couldn't get out of the clothes fast enough. All desire would leave immediately after the "O". It took many years before I got beyond the removing the clothes right away. There are times now that I feel that all I have done is stretch out the pre-time to three or four days before the "O" happens, then afterwards the clothes have a slightly different significance. Still enjoyable, but in a different way. I haven't made up my mind which is better. Sensual is the word that best describes the whole experience.
It started as s sexual thing, but as time has gone on. It's a release and also gender identity and comfort.
For some people it is, for others, it isn't. I rarely feel any sexual feelings when dressed as a girl, and when I do, it's a conflicting 'I'm attracted to that girl, but I also feel like I'm supposed to be and behave as a girl' type of thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by AKADonna
Very good point, we learn what turns us on at a very early age, and it certainly can be sexual when one is 5. Not necessarily sexual in the sense of an eventual release, but you do discover what is appealing to you when young, even if you cannot articulate how you feel or why. It is not surprising so many are attracted to women's lingerie, especially the traditional styles women wore back in the day, both the sensual feel as well as the association with a source of love and comfort (their mother.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG
You know at some point I think it is a sexual turn on for most guys. If you deny it you may just be kidding yourself. After you've done it for a while you may not get the same degree of turn on. I know now sometimes i am really into the craft of it all.
BTW Tinkerbell i loved your post.
Hell Yes!...but that's not all.
I guess I'm the only "grown up" here still at the peak of enjoyment? I feel like the sexual part has progressed WITH my age, and WITH my level of enjoyment of being dressed. Sometimes, I just dress, sit, and watch TV. I've played video games with my friends online...dressed. Other times....well, we won't discuss other times. You get the picture.
I'm right there with you jessica. It's such a damn turn on I just can't help it.
Sure. Sometimes. Yes. No. Not always.
We are the product of our own imaginations, and self realizations.
The question is what is the difference between sexual turn-on, and our own gender identity? That's how you figure yourself out.
I am not ashamed to say that I am still very confused as to why I dress. There is definitely a sexual component to dressing up, but that is not the only reason. Dressing as a woman is a major stress relief. It is though I am a different person for a short time. I can forget my troubles with work and family when I am Athena. The transformation must end at some time, usually with some sort of release, but not always. I find that the longer it has been since I was last Athena, the more I think about her.
Whatever the reason, I love that I have a female part of myself. It is an important part of my personality.
That's so true I feel relived everytime I do so
It really comes down to defining your self by two magical chemicals called estrogen and testosterone......which one are you in your own true self? Both work in different ways, but neither is more superior to the other.
If you're a guy who likes being a guy with all the biological male functions, and you happen to have a feminine side, then knock yourself out, and be you. The reality is you are quite ordinary and commonplace.
I started cross-dressing in early childhood. I remember doing it because I thought that my mother would love me better if I was a girl. So when I was 4-5 years old it was not a sexual thing. Then I felt gratification at the thought that I could be a girl just for a few moments. There was a sense of well-being, accomplishment and I felt it made me closer to my mother. Once adolescence started then cross-dressing was definitely sexual. I remember those first moment and how I was confused over what happened. It was so very stimulating, I felt I could explode. However this was not the innocent cross-dressing I knew as a child. Now it would lead to masturbation. I liked the cross-dressing but the masturbation parts would make me feel disgusted with myself. As I have aged into my 60's cross-dressing is less about sex and more about comfort, stress reduction, and about relishing beauty for beauty's sake.
Testosterone definitely plays a role in the sexual parts of cross-dressing, but cross-dressing is more than just sexual.
If cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia, then our brains have been hard-wired to respond to cross-dressing as if we were in actual contact with a female. This causes our brain to release neurotransmitters: Dopamine which anticipates the gratification response, Serotonin which produces a sense of well-being, happiness, and oxytocin which is associated with bonding (love), social empathy, and trust. There are probably other neurotransmitters associated with cross-dressing as well.
So high levels of testosterone will make cross-dressing into a sexual experience. After all our brain is thinking "contact with a female". However our level of testosterone will vary with age, and cross-dressing just continues, moving forward with our tastes. It's the neurotransmitters that make us cross-dressers and not the testosterone.
Confucius, I find your post fascinating. My H definitely had issues when he was very young related to how he felt as a boy around his mother and sister (he thought girls were more important as his father had no interest in him). What I'm confused about is what you mean by hard wiring. Does this mean my H wired his brain to crossdress? Or was it there all along? I find that difficult to understand as women's clothing is a social creation so how could there be a brain pathway for it?? And if we all suddenly dressed the same like Star Trek (threw that in for any trekkies here, lol) would men such as yourself and my H still have tried to be feminine?
Anyway, that's an interesting theory. I've never even heard of this 'synesthesia' before but it's the most logical theory I've heard yet, and my H sounds like a textbook case.
He could 'wire' it, someone else could 'wire' it, but most likely it was a combination of many influences, perhaps as well as the theory that once the question about his own identity is realized, it can make him susceptible to further questions about gender.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG
It's not the clothes. It's what the clothes represent (as well as hairstyles, body mechanics and vocal patterns, all each have distinctly male OR female categories). The way our society is structured, ONLY females wear certain clothing types, so wearing those clothes signifies to ourselves and others that we either are female, want to present as female, want to be female, or perhaps simply don't like being male.Quote:
I find that difficult to understand as women's clothing is a social creation so how could there be a brain pathway for it??
This is another intriguing post. As the mother of young children, I'm well aware that gender realisation isn't until about age 6. Meaning, until that age, children believe they can be either/or/both/nothing. Currently, my son thinks he can be a Ninja Turtle. He's very serious about this :) What I'm wondering is whether you mean a child before this age can get derailed from his/her path somehow and by age 6, they've somehow connected with the wrong gender? Or a Ninja Turtle?!Quote:
Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
My H would be a pretty classic case of this derailment as his father was a pr**k and didn't care about him at all. His mother over compensated for this by doing the role of both parents, and his sister, being the brighter, prettier one, was just revered. I don't think my H had a very good male role model anywhere in his life, and women, in his mind and to this day, are just better.
But while this theory works for my H, what about all those here who say they had textbook childhoods? Two nice parents? Ordinary siblings? Why would they question their identities?? Or did I just start yet another thread?! Lol
On the above.. I actually did a long writeup for the other thread...but so much had already been covered I didn't post. I still saved it for myself as I do when thinking about and analyzing my own influences. it's kind of similar to what you posted.
Here's what I typed for that section...
...
maybe you didn't grow up with a dad in the family and you just learned stuff from the mother more.
Or maybe you had a dad that was bad or imprinted such a bad influence (say abuse, yelling at mom, somesuch) that you end up desiring not to want to be like him whatsoever and you learn from mom instead. Some of these could also be a bit of escape mechanism..to escape from whatever the strife was.
- - -
I will say here, that a lot of the above is in a way me also thinking out my own younger influences.
From ~2-3YO I had a "dad" that all I can remember as a baby was a couple of experiences of him just yelling and arguing with mom. (ultimately he ran out on her). I got a new stepdad at ~5 but he wasn't one to "participate" as much in my life.
I physically grew up smaller, could not really do sports (strength, small hand + structure), which led me off to doing imagination games + doing recess with girls more.
Later I think mom pushed the stepdad to put me in a couple sports to "bond" which didn't work so well.
Basically I grew up looking up to and learning from mom more than anyone else.
What "Maleness" actually came more from my grandfather. (and unfortunately I think my male pattern baldness too :) )
...
Now that was what I ran into for my youth.
As far as the original post's question.. I think it can have a sexual component. My activity briefly started as a rarely done fetish with lingerie (real rarish.. maybe 7-8 times playing with it over a decade or 2 in my 20's-30's). Even my main outfit I really started CDing with (near last halloween-maid) was done with a bit of festishness. But as I have CDed more it isn't so much that. But I do play around a bit at times. (I'm solo, no GF no wife so it's just my own fun). I've got mini sport shorts (yeah at 48 I'm too old for that but hey, I have to make up for lost time), I've got a couple corsets/bustier's that I have.. and garter/stockings. If I'm in the mood that's just something I play around in.
But all that's more or less just an addition to my general CD side now.
Anyways...just decided to post as my own early parental influences might be slightly similar.
I understand everything your saying and agree. I was always drawn to womens clothes, at an early age I like wearing them and did not know why. I am now in my sixties and love it even more. I feel so calm wearing panties ( I hide them well) and even sleep in them sometimes and my wife never knows, she would flip if she knew. I feel so sexy at times, depending on what I am wearing.
I have swings but while appearing to fit in with males I like being with and talking to women, I have good conversations with females. I watch what they wear and how they match things up and then go home and its a sexual thing and so good. Overall I would rather be on the feminine side its much more fun now.
For me yes very much so
My wife and I were discussing this very question the other morning and she pointed out something that had not occurred to me. I said to her, well of course my cross dressing started off as sexual. And she reminded me that being as I cross dressed before I even had a concept of sexual pleasure (say before 8-10 years old) that she completely disagreed with me.
Which made me think why exactly do I associate my beginnings with sexual pleasure? I think it is because I was never told that cross dressing was weird until I began to get close to puberty and the age of sexual awakening. But once I reached that age, I justified my actions by dismissing them as being only sexual. And I think many people do that. For some reason, we as humans tend to be a bit more lenient towards things that bring sexual pleasure. Because we can't control that. What excites us, excites us, and it is not as if we chose for it to be exciting for us, it just is.
Most men think cross dressing is weird and thus it makes us weirdo. Well so is sniffing feet. But if that is what "gets you off" then it is okay, or at least more okay. So by associating cross dressing with a sexual quirk, or fetish, then it becomes somehow more understandable.
I know this is what I did for years. "Oh honey,it is just a sexual thing for me." I said many times to my wife. So no wonder she was pretty confused when I decided to go out into public. If it is only sexual then why go into public? Was I wanting to have sex with the public or try and find someone other than my wife? Yeah, no, I was separating the sex from the cross dressing and discovering hey wait a moment this was hear before I was ever capable of having sex or as WAH puts it, to even be able to associate it with an "O."
Hi Donna, At one time it was no a days it is just relaxing.
Hi, Yes, I've noticed the same physical traits you've noticed once I hit my 60s. When I was young it was a big turn on, but now not so much. Yet I will admit to sometimes having a happy ending, or a happy beginning, or a happy middle to my dressing sessions. Hugs Jaymee
Sexually it does nothing for me, i think thats because ive been dressing from a very young age so to me its just a way of life and the norm, though i can understand how you could get sexually atached to crossdressing becuase you do feel different in girls clothes to mans
If the need to feel right when dress in a skirt or dress is a sexual thing. I never felt so. I just love to dress and feel pretty if only in my eyes.:hugs:
Angie
Of course not as long as one does it in granny dresses and flats...
Which is WHY you find sooooooooooo many examples of both items in the P&V gallery...
I am new to this, and I thought for the longest time this was purely sexual for me. I just bought my first dress, tried it on, and I felt a surge through my whole body - but it was not sexual! (At least I don't think it was, I am still figuring this out!) I cannot describe the feeling - it was like my skin or body was generating electriciy. Anyone else get this feeling the first time? I hope it does not go away!
The only other time, beside today, I wore a dress to surprise my wife and it had a sexual affect on me. That was until my wife freaked out on me and I have not tried it again until today. Not sexual for me now, just like the feel of the clothes and how it makes me feel (again not in a sexual way).
For me, it's partly sexual and partly the feeling of being wrapped up in silky things. Man I love that feeling! Usually when I dress up, I end up pleasuring myself. So, does that make it a sexual thing for me? ;)
Same as most it was a very sexual in my teenage years and diminished as I grew older. I'm not going to lie and say I don't enjoy dressing up and trying to get frisky with my wife, not that she goes for it but I try. Now it is more a very helpful therapy that allows me to find myself.
Alright ...I tried...and I mean I really tried to avoid commenting on this thread...sigh...warning...the following should probably more rightly go to a diary or therapist...LOL
Years ago, I would have said yes, and with the certainty of youth on my side. Lol
Now, although I cannot deny sex was a factor, I have concluded it a was not the cause but rather a by product. Dressing released chemicals in my brain that made me feel good and happy and, most important, closer to the female inside of me. The upshot of all this chemical and emotional happiness produced feelings of sexuality.
I have thought carefully of late about what always turned me on with a lover. It was seldom just drooling lust over a particularly lusty feminine form, if it ever was at all. Rather, my arousal was always tied to the certainty of being wanted, sexually, emotionally or both. Make of that what you will. The feeling was so good when present that it lead to sexual arousal as a by product. On the other hand, even an amazingly sexy woman, totally available but totally disinterested, left me cold.
So my conclusion is that at least a part of what I sought in dressing then was related to seeking out the feeling of being wanted, which was intimately related to proximity to the female within me. Finding that woman within lead to the euphoria which lead to arousal. A byproduct.
But now, since my libido is shot from various unmentionables ingested to grow my lovely little breasts, the sex portion is gone, but the euphoria remains. This tells me my theory is probably correct.
So, yes, connected, but, no, not causal. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Same time next week, Doc?
My crossdressing didn't really begin in earnest until I discovered my female gender identity. The dysphoria that I felt before the discovery was a mixture of guilt, shame, anxiety, and all the resolve I could muster to put an end to what I saw as self-destructive, marriage-destructive behaviors that ultimately I could not seem to shake. When I finally did overcome these scourges on my well being by quelling the fires within chemically, I found that my desire to crossdress changed. It began, not a turn-on , but an important means to express my feminine side like nothing else could. With the acceptance and support of my DW, crossdressing is now an enjoyable, guilt-free, pass time that really has very little to do with sexual arousal. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I attribute sex-based crossdressing as simply one of many different sexual fetishes that are driven by normal to high male testosterone levels. Change the hormonal balance (T/E) in the body and everything you thought about your sexuality gets called into question.
I too have to say it's sexual. But as I get older the urges are more often and harder to control. Also the need to hide seems to go away as I get older.Quote:
Originally Posted by lostcrow
Well, transforming to Tina is an exciting time. At age 55, starting to explore a new gender, and doing it openly, and with a supportive spouse, is a bit of a different scenario than that presented by most in this thread. I wasn't looking for another sexual outlet so that notion was never a part of the discussion, and my wife is not interested in Tina in a sexual way.
But....no one can deny that those first encounters with feminine everything puts them on sensory overload. So the initial experience has to be sensual, regardless. After Tina had experienced these sensations for a while they became a part of her transition experience, helping to shed the male mental and physical image and acclimating to Tina's mental and physical image. My male self enjoys viewing the feminine image, and linking that mental image to the sensory inputs during the ritual of transformation is beneficial to Tina in the temporary sequestering of our masculine self.
Donna,
I am about the same as you. It started as a sexual thing but changed to a just wearing it is enjoyable. I guess that it still is sexual to a point.
Kymmie
I, as I'm sure some others have, actually saw women wearing undergarments in catalogues such as Sears, JC Penneys, Montgomery Wards, and other such publications for the first( excepting my mother) time. I was absolutely fascinated by all the different garments that just didn't exist in a boys life. That along with the fact that I was able to see a real attractive woman wearing all these things naturally peaked my sexual feelings as I was in the throes of puberty and raging hormones. Somehow, I became obsessed with seeing all the bras, girdes, garters attached to stockings, and all the other garb women wore. It was an easy jump to imagine how the clothing must feel and eventually find a way to experience this for myself. Of course once that happened, it was such a pleasurable experience, I did it again and again even though after each "session", I was ashamed of myself and would put everything away for a while until I did it again. In today's world, I still get some sexual satisfaction, from the clothes,but, it's nothing compared to when I was a young teenager. The women back then also had to wear much more formal type clothing, which, in my opinion, was much sexier than what most wear today!
Monique
Yes . At first and sometimes still is , but it has gone beond sex
I feel at 63, it is more a gender ID thing, less sexual... those sexual feelings come up a bit still..........
Well, an interesting question...for me has halways been the same, since the first time when I was 12 till now.
Something made by many components, first for me the pleasure and satisfaction to play the femme role, choose dresses, shoes accessories and be beautyful the best I can. Is something special for me, when I crossdress I am Camilla and act normally as the woman I am. I like to take care of my aspect, removing hair from my legs, polishing my toenails trying to please me in every way, I adore to do all this things and feel good while doing. This is why I love to crossdress and need to do it.
So can happen to be sexually excited too while beiing Camilla, why not there' nothing strange, sex is one of the many components I told before, the fetish component was more present when I was in my teen age, at that time just wearing high heels get me excited, now is different but not for testosterone level, my mind has changed.
I appreciate the joy to be and dress like a woman, because when I am Camilla I am a woman playing a normal life, reading, stay at the computer, playing, doing homework and so on.
If I am sexually excited is ok, I just act this way and follow my feelings...simply...
The gender thing is the first for me now, I love to dress like a woman, be and act like Camilla.
I just love it !! This is what I know.
Hugs x
Camilla
Well I think for me it is more a sexual thing because, as a heterosexual male, I have had a fetish for women in pantyhose/tights and skirts for a while. I guess I just wanted to know what wearing tights actually felt like and now I have them well...I am hooked. Nothing compares to the feel of them on your legs, the happy feeling it gives me to wear them. I see it as therapy for my mind too as I do have my personal issues but this takes my mind off them very well :)
Best wishes
tightsplease
Like several have already stated, it was more of a sexual thing when I was younger. Now I just enjoy the escape from the normal expectations of the world.
I have to say tho sex has become more a part of the dressing again now that my wife is on board and supportive. I don't think it is as much because of the dressing but rather than the closeness we are sharing as a result of it.
I believe this sums it up for CDers such as myself, that are just a CDer and not transgendered or transsexual. But some of the latter may have started to find themselves the same in the beginning.Quote:
Originally Posted by wanda66